[Moose72]

I'm so anxious the last week. I have moments when I'm not, but then the anxiety comes back. I take ativan or benedryl at night as this is when its the worst. I watch tv before bed to get my mind off things and try to be active during the day. My new pdoc is out of the office until Monday and I see my old pdoc on wednesday. I have already called my new pdoc's emergency number several times and the psych ER once. I think I'm going nuts. I often feel I'm not in this world anymore. No hallucinations. Meds must be working. Ijust feel anxious about almost everything in my life. I even have a bunch of self-harm thoughts that i posted about on the hbipolar board and got deleted and a form letter sent to my inbox about going to psych ER. Anybody have anything to say? I hate my life right now. I am treading water trying to do fun things every day. I miss my old pdoc and barely know the new one. Who do I trust?

[worthit]

This is what we often go through also on a daily basis. Feel like we're losing our minds, delusional, paranoid thoughts. It might be good to check yourself in,and maybe go for a walk to get exercise and distract your mind if you have to wait for your appts. This is our illness. That's what I tell myself and my T agrees.

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[Moose72]

I see old pdoc wednesday. Today i am distracted and tomorrow too. Met a new friend and hanging out with old friend too. Thank you for your reply.

[DePressMe]

Hey Moose, I have times when my anxiety takes over too. Reaching out for help through your pdocs and on here is the right thing to do. My pdoc once (more than once) told me, "remember, that you've been here before and that it will get better--it always has." He's right, the anxiety will get better. It may seem unending and like its already lasted forever but you got to hang on and ride it out. When I'm feeling crazy anxious I do a whole lot of writing--sometimes free writing with pen in my journal and sometimes I get on my computer and write letters to my pdoc explaining what I'm going through or, if I'm able, I'll write about a topic I'm interested in--like a research essay--it's a good distraction. Sometimes my anxiety is made worse by tv so I listen to online podcasts that are inspirational or informative. Here's a good place to find podcasts that my pdoc does--http://www.thehealthymind.com/media/. He has a calming voice and covers a wide range of topics. I like it because it helps fill the gap between pdoc appointments--listening to a pdoc talk to you through the podcasts is sorta like a fake session. I feel for you Moose, I'm not too bad today, but I've been where you are at so I understand how you feel. Don't self-injure, I know, easier said than done. But, if you slip and hurt yourself, use some of your inner strength and don't take it too far. I slip and self-injure every now and then but, I've learned to accept the setback and stop it before it cycles out of control. You know, others may help us, but, ultimately, our survival is solely up to us. Do what you need to do to make it through this bad spell--you'll make it out of it and things will be better.....D.

[Moose72]

Thank you depressme! I do have a blog i try to keep up with.

[Moose72]

Feeling nervous. Took benedryl

[Moose72]

Had a first date ladt night. Odd. Fun but not really my type of guy.

[Victoria'smom]

That's awesome that you had fun on the first date even if he's not your type. are you going to go on a second date or are you going to try to make him a friend? Moose I already told you to PM me anything you fear will be taken down if you want to talk. I really do mean it.