[unior]

Looking for any advice or help. I quit drinking, drugging. My delusions havn't got that much better, I still have problems and it drives my wife absolutely insane. She gets so upset with me if I bring up a delusion that I'm having. In the past she has said please tell me when your feeling paranoid but all she does is say "stop thinking that way." Like shes blaming me for having delusions like its my fault. Like I can just make a decision to think them away.

I don't know what to do about it. Usually I realize when I'm having an incorrect thought. This morning at the scrapyard the woman writing the check to me post dated it for 3 days from now. I found out at the bank and got suspicious that she did it on purpose cause the scrapyard was broke or something. I kept trying to tell myself it could just be an honest mistake but I couldn't shake the thought that she had tried it.

When I brought it up to my wife she got frustrated and eventually angry that I just can't think properly.

The only solution I can think of is to just try to never bring up what I think is a delusion. I don't know what else to do.

[insilence]

what do you experience when you say delusions? what factors does that include, thoughts about yourself or hallucinations?

[vmsmith]

I sounds like she doesn't understand that you have an actual illness. My suggestion would be counseling for both of you. Find a therapist!

Do you have a psychiatrist? Are you on medication? Maybe you should look into what as well.

[unior]

Yeah I am on 6mg of invega. I've tried zyprexa, abilify, geodon, seroquel, risperdal, and invega. None of them eliminates the problem and it's hard to determine how much they really do help.

She knows I have a mental illness and I think she has good intentions and wants to help but dosn't realize that just telling me to think it away isn't the best thing to say lol. I had been trying to think away the thoughts from the moment I got the post dated check.

I guess my thoughts are considered hallucinations? I have grandiose thoughts that the entire world knows me and is trying to tell me things. Like if I see a red car drive past I think someone is telling me I've done something wrong....green car good. It's even to the point where gold cars are good. White cars are neutral. Black is neutral. This paranoia, thoughts that everyone is out to get me or tell me something has been going on since I was about 21. (29 now)

I have a scheduled meeting with a therapist this thursday hopefully she understands my illness.

Considering injections cause it's real difficult to remember to take a pill everyday.

Thanks for the responses I know there are people on here that experience similar symptoms and thats just awesome to have someone like minded to talk to. Thank you.

[Secretum]

It sounds like you know that your thoughts about the cars are unusual; that's a good sign. I too think that the universe sends me signs, and I also recognize that these thoughts are strange.

Have you heard of schizotypal personality disorder? It's like schizophrenia, but less severe. Patients with schizotypal personality disorder have unusual thoughts, but they know they are not true. Usually when a person with schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder is delusional, they are 100% convinced that their delusions are true.