[JubbaBones]

After years of drug use and abuse, I became an alcoholic. I drank quite a bit for damn near 10 years straight. I ended up in the Army, married, and a father of two. I realized it might be time to slow down on the self medication. Once I stopped drinking, the music started. I started to hear very distant music, as if someone had left an iPod on in the back room. My wife would confirm for me that no such music was playing. Fast Forward a few months and a couple VA visits later. Still hear steady background "music" and start seeing false shadows.....no idea how else to describe them. I am now hearing more "solid" sounds, and actually seeing movement. I catch myself grabbing at/ touching things to make sure they're actually there.

I'm more worried for my family than for myself, because I know when I get worse I wont realize it. It's just crazy to me how quickly it seems my insides seem to be collapsing in on themselves.

[Victoria'smom]

Hi, are you on meds? In therapy? How much have you told your wife?

[kaliope]

hi jubbabones
its very important that you go see a psychiatrist about what is happening to you. it is very treatable.welcome to psych central. you will find that we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

[DePressMe]

Jubba, I have a similar past--drug abuse, Army, long-term alcoholic...then, my mental illness changed after I quit drinking too. I started having hallucinations, increased anxiety and other psychotic symptoms when I quit. But, I don't think getting sober caused my mental illness to shift the way it eventually did for me. Now that I've been sober for many years, I realize that I had a much better chance at overcoming my issues if I was sober.

My hallucinations gradually increased and as time went on I had a harder and harder time staying connected with reality. At first I did not understand it so I felt like I could not predict when I'd have bad spells and get ill. Now, that I've experienced the ebb and flow of symptoms for many years I know what signs to look for to predict when I'm heading into a bad period. That gives me time to prepare for my illness so it puts less pressure on my family and it enables me to get better quicker. Maybe your illness will be like mine and you'll come to understand better. It's as confusing as heck for awhile--scary too. You will regain your personal power over your illness as you figure it out some. Hey, you may turn the corner and start improving at any point in time...don't give up on yourself because I truly believe you will get better. But, in the mean time, hang on tight and ride it out the best you can...PM me if you want to chat.....D