[transient]

It's really hard for me to describe this but I'll try.
I'm feeling really weird. Like my whole life is just a bizarre lie and someone somewhere has been watching me, planning things to throw at me and laughing at me trying to deal with it.

The bodily sensations I'm having are odd- like for days it's felt like there is a thin thread is wrapped around one of my toes. Any time my hairs touch my face I get agitated, because I really don't like the feeling. It feels like there are small bugs walking on me, almost like an itch but when I scratch it or rub it, the feeling just comes up somewhere else on my body.
I feel really disgusting from the inside out, like my organs are rotting. My stomach disorder is probably causing that, but I woke up today and my whole life feels like how my stomach does.
I feel muted, dull colors like brown and red. I want to paint that, actually, which is good because I haven't had the desire to make any art for months, but I still don't really feel up to painting. I think the word "ambivalence" is really describing my life right now.

And I keep seeing faces in everything. Objects, like a chair or an exercise machine, look like someone who is sitting down and looking at me, and even though I do a double or triple-take and confirm that it's just an inanimate object, it still feels like someone watching me.

It's really upsetting to me right now, because I don't have the energy to cope with this while I'm trying to figure out my life. There's no time.

[Terabithia]

I think I can relate to that feeling of every hair against your skin feeling scratchy and itchy and scratching it only makes me feel it elsewhere. I don't get it often, but I think I know what you're talking about. I also get that feeling of disgust with my entire being. Shame may be a part of it, for me.

I've been very agitated and disturbed lately too. I know that I need a change in my medication because my brain just won't calm down. Do you think you need a change in your meds.? What you're describing sounds like something that meds. might help in part, especially the agitation, feeling like you're being watched (something I'm dealing with right now, too), and the feelings of disconnection. Sometimes the right anti-psychotic can handle these symptoms. Seroquel has worked for me in the past. I hope this helps.

[ConstantlyAnxious]

Originally Posted by transient

It's really hard for me to describe this but I'll try.
I'm feeling really weird. Like my whole life is just a bizarre lie and someone somewhere has been watching me, planning things to throw at me and laughing at me trying to deal with it.

The bodily sensations I'm having are odd- like for days it's felt like there is a thin thread is wrapped around one of my toes. Any time my hairs touch my face I get agitated, because I really don't like the feeling. It feels like there are small bugs walking on me, almost like an itch but when I scratch it or rub it, the feeling just comes up somewhere else on my body.
I feel really disgusting from the inside out, like my organs are rotting. My stomach disorder is probably causing that, but I woke up today and my whole life feels like how my stomach does.
I feel muted, dull colors like brown and red. I want to paint that, actually, which is good because I haven't had the desire to make any art for months, but I still don't really feel up to painting. I think the word "ambivalence" is really describing my life right now.

And I keep seeing faces in everything. Objects, like a chair or an exercise machine, look like someone who is sitting down and looking at me, and even though I do a double or triple-take and confirm that it's just an inanimate object, it still feels like someone watching me.

It's really upsetting to me right now, because I don't have the energy to cope with this while I'm trying to figure out my life. There's no time.

It's relief to know I'm not the only one having this problem. I dunno whether it'll help you, OP, but what helps me a bit is to do something that'll keep me preoccupied like browsing the net, reading, or playing a game and, when I'm in bed, keep my eyes shut to keep myself from seeing faces pop up in stuff.

Perhaps it has something to do with anxiety or stress?

[worthit]

I have to keep my eyes shut, also. I distract myself with online things or reading too.

[Sinking Feeling]

I have a similar yet different feeling that does relate a bit to yours.

I have what is known as "The Truman Show" feeling. Like every thing is staged, fake, and everyone is in on it and messing with me. Some times I will look at a landscape admire it's beauty and then it starts to look fake, not real, a prop.

Sometimes I think I actually see the real me, I feel a better awareness, like I finally broke though the fakeness. But what I find I do not like. I seem me as I perceive others see me, ugly, stupid and strange. Then I feel ashamed and sad.

Also patterns instead of objects for me, though distant objects too, will turn to faces. Like a design on tiles or wall paper, will turn in to faces.

Even stranger, noise turns in to speech! Any sound, wind, motor, fan, air conditioner turn in to people talking.

Then there is also the tactile hallucinations that freak me out the most! I some times feel some one tapping me on the shoulder or touching my arm or my back. The freakiest are the bugs crawling up my arms. It feels like hundreds of little spiders crawling up my arms.

See, your in good company

[jaynedough]

I get these feelings alot. Recently went a couple of days when I couldn't take my hair touching me. I have really long hair which I usually have either clipped up to the top of my head or in a ponytail. It took me a long time to grow my hair out and I don't feel safe with short hair, but on those days, I was ready to get the scissors out and cut it off. I didn't know what was wrong and forgot to tell my T. It was good to see that I'm not alone.

I hate the unreality feelings. And the bug feeling is complicated for me b/c I have issues with nerves getting irritated / pinched by the arthritis in my spine. It's even worse in the spring and summer b/c I live in the country and there are some seriously freaky bugs here. The worst is when I find a tick on me or my dog.

i love you.

[ladisputelover]

Originally Posted by transient

It's really hard for me to describe this but I'll try.
I'm feeling really weird. Like my whole life is just a bizarre lie and someone somewhere has been watching me, planning things to throw at me and laughing at me trying to deal with it.

The bodily sensations I'm having are odd- like for days it's felt like there is a thin thread is wrapped around one of my toes. Any time my hairs touch my face I get agitated, because I really don't like the feeling. It feels like there are small bugs walking on me, almost like an itch but when I scratch it or rub it, the feeling just comes up somewhere else on my body.
I feel really disgusting from the inside out, like my organs are rotting. My stomach disorder is probably causing that, but I woke up today and my whole life feels like how my stomach does.
I feel muted, dull colors like brown and red. I want to paint that, actually, which is good because I haven't had the desire to make any art for months, but I still don't really feel up to painting. I think the word "ambivalence" is really describing my life right now.

And I keep seeing faces in everything. Objects, like a chair or an exercise machine, look like someone who is sitting down and looking at me, and even though I do a double or triple-take and confirm that it's just an inanimate object, it still feels like someone watching me.

It's really upsetting to me right now, because I don't have the energy to cope with this while I'm trying to figure out my life. There's no time.

This is me.

[chasms]

i relate to pretty much everything you said. life is a lie, sensory experiences, rotting, feeling muted, seeing faces in everything.

sometimes what happens to me if im in a really bad episode, my mind splits (i dont think i have DID). i can sometimes bring out this personality if i need it but sometimes i cant. anyway, my mind splits into 2 parts. one is how i currently feel where i cant cope. then the other me is comforting and says things like " you can do it" and i can take care of myself this way. like when i shower it says "now get the shampoo" and stuff. it helps in times of trouble and i ffeel like im not alone.