A sensitive like me affecting my sensitive girlfriend

dmhobbit · Aug 04, 2015 at 02:47 PM

So I get this email from my girlfriend late last night indicating that I have done nothing but complain about some household, electronics I have been saying over and over that were caused by poor quality stuff from futon mattresses and electronics like a cheap (less than $30). She said, "You have been complaining about everything I bought you was ****** so I'm not helping you with Walmart purchases anymore and why are you so mad at me?" I wrote a long *** email reply and called her at noon and we worked things out and I said to her, "Honey I'm not made or complaining at you I was just frustrated last night using the F-Bomb several times about how ****** the products are at Walmart and she was picking up my negative energy over the phone "thinking it was her fault" and I said over and over "I love you and I'm sorry you felt my negative energy and please to please understand I got frustrated... heck even people that don't have MI get frustrated at times. God knows we aren't perfect... that God isn't always putting us "to the test" but that life just happens sometimes and yes we do get upset but I repeatedly told her no honey its Walmart I'm fed up with.

I also told her that I won't vent on her anymore because I didn't realize she too was a sensitive and our energies connect (if you believe in that sort of thing) and bond into love when we are together but if one of us is mad, frightened, anxious, panic, depressed, etc we both pick up on the others emotions and we get equally affected. I'm the stronger one. I got beat up and picked on from 6th to 8th grade middle school and have also PTSD from that. In my email I told her that "Definitely it is not you honey its me at my wits end I have bought three ****** products from Walmart and I'm more satisfied with the reviews and feedback and make "good" and "intelligent" decisions on Amazon and every single thing I have ordered from them from clothing to electronics to bike parts Amazon has never let me down and man are they fast at shipping things!

Anyhow I told her that my email was full of lemons and to just make brain lemonade from it. I used a lot of CAPITAL LETTERS in it but over the phone told her it was more like a writer using underlines so that I was just making a point and NOT SHOUTING like so many people think old people or people with vision problems post in all CAPS. She said she understood that it was a long heartfelt email with tons of apologies to her and that I never meant to make her feel my negative energy. Where do I go from here. I'm a cyclist on a BMX bike at 46yrs old and when bike riding exercise combined with my xanax I am effectively controlling my panic disorder/anxiety. God I would do anything for this woman who has so selflessly given me so many gifts including extra groceries I can't afford and yes I have a food EBT card for use in VA but $88 credit isn't enough to eat on so I have to use my SSDI paycheck to add to that AND I have to feline girls I need to buy cat food, treats, and cat litter.

I dunno what else I can do to calm myself down and stop thinking the "little things" in life I take so seriously when all is good and the Good Lord above will take care of my *needs* and not my wants of luxury.

God Bless everyone who has schizoaffective bipolar type disorder, panic disorder, ocd, and depression.

Thank anybody that reads this that has some ideas to "not sweat the small stuff and its all small stuff". Anyhow thanks gang for letting me vent and explain my situation cause I would never, ever want to hurt my girlfriends feelings.

Blessed Be and God Bless!

healingme4me · Aug 06, 2015 at 08:43 AM

Sounds like you worked through it, together? Wal-Mart does have its pros and cons. Are you able to spend time together with your gf? Maybe some time together will help? Emails and written messages can make relationships difficult, at times, depending on where the reader is emotionally, in the moment.

Aug 06, 2015 at 08:45 AM

I know this will likely sound cliche, and for that I apologize in advance. A lot of times we sweat the small things to avoid seeing the things that really need adressing. That can be particularly true in people that have MI cause hell, we have enough to deal with. So we lash out at things like a glass of water spilling, or crappy retail merchandise. All we can really do is remember that things like that are replaceble, fixable, cleanable, and its really not worth getting overly frustrated over.

dmhobbit · Aug 07, 2015 at 08:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChaoticInsanity

I know this will likely sound cliche, and for that I apologize in advance. A lot of times we sweat the small things to avoid seeing the things that really need adressing. That can be particularly true in people that have MI cause hell, we have enough to deal with. So we lash out at things like a glass of water spilling, or crappy retail merchandise. All we can really do is remember that things like that are replaceble, fixable, cleanable, and its really not worth getting overly frustrated over.

Thanks for the perspective. It is like you read my mind. I got pissed off yesterday because I dropped a tumber full of mountain dew and cussed and yelled at no-one, but nothing broke, it was on the carpet and a towel cleaned it all up. So although my cussing and angry spells still live in me I change my cursing to dumb words and just trying to say "GEEZ!" and "oh well better clean it up. In fact I've ruined a computer spilling my morning coffee on the desk. So I keep all open containers now on the floor. sealable bottle drinks are ok as long as the cap is on tight. so far so good and looking for a good bike ride today... aiming for an hour, did 70 minutes on the road yesterday. Getting in as much outdoor cycling exercise every day that summer is still here.

GOD BLESS!

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healingme4me Perpetually Pondering Community Liaison Member Since Apr 2013 Location: New England Posts: 46,298 (SuperPoster!) 11 4,168 hugs given	Aug 06, 2015 at 08:43 AM #2 Sounds like you worked through it, together? Wal-Mart does have its pros and cons. Are you able to spend time together with your gf? Maybe some time together will help? Emails and written messages can make relationships difficult, at times, depending on where the reader is emotionally, in the moment.
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