[bpforever1]

My voices stopped when my mother came. May be her shouting at me helped after all!! hahahaha Truthfully, I feel great now. I take my medication daily and am working a few hours each day. Life is good!!

[twistypringle98]

Originally Posted by bpforever1

My voices stopped when my mother came. May be her shouting at me helped after all!! hahahaha Truthfully, I feel great now. I take my medication daily and am working a few hours each day. Life is good!!

That's great! Hearing that the voices stopped and that you are working. Be happy that you didn't stop seeking what you wanted when the psychosis was happening. I imagine it happens more than not. I think you are brave for that.

My voices stopped also, but I noticed that they were coming along more handily after I ate. I wonder what that means.

I, however, haven't been working. During my last job, my voices got a bit worse than normal. I've been living with delusions since 2013 and delusions and voices since 2016. I still feel new to this. Like I just have schizophreniform or brief psychosis. At least when I bring something like that up, my sis knows that I'm still in denial. I can recognize it - just not when I'm doing the denying. Like when I'm bringing it up to the doc or searching the internet for something else. I even thought I could have narcolepsy at one point for what my voices are really like. (I have hallucinations before sleep a lot - called hypnagogic hallucinations - and all my voices sound like that).

[bpforever1]

Thank you for your support!! I did not work for awhile either and stayed at home with family for about 5 years. But, I then went to another country and have to work to survive. I cannot get disability here. I actually have never been on disability because I thought one can't work while on it which is not the case. I work only a few hours a day now and eke by somehow. I like working oddly enough because with psychosis, it is difficult to work. Now, that my psychosis has abated, I feel fine. I do feel blessed that I am able to work although only for a few hour daily. The pay is quite good so I chose to work less for higher pay. I think being compliant with medication has helped tremendously. Without medication, I was hospitalized about four times in four years. Although psychosis still comes, I adhere to taking medication no matter what. I believe the medication works about 90 percent of the time. The rest of the time I have psychosis and am impaired but manage to survive. I think for me the quality of life is more important than doing too many things and not being happy. I am very happy now. I feel great despite my illness. I think after all of the years with voices and mania, I have come to terms with myself and accepted my illness. I don't have any regrets and am trying to live life as well as possible now. This means eating healthy and well, exercising, relaxing, and working when I can. And, I always have taken my medication for the past 6 years and have managed to stay out of the hospital during this time. I feel good about myself and life.

[SheilaKathy]

One of my clients died, so I have been having a bit of a rough time of it. However, my other client is doing quite well, so I am happy about that.

I am going hopefully to visit some friends tomorrow, for the holiday. That cheers me up.

[Loose Screw x 2]

Happy to be diagnosed at last with something I suspected anyway.
I love it when research turns out to be correct and my analysis is accurate or near accurate.
It's like working hard on a project and being acknowledged for it and it makes me aware that my analysis capabilities are tuned very well.
It's nice to have something to feel good about in yourself when you've grown up, surrounded by people who want to make you feel inferior and dumb and just destroy you any way they can.
I wish they could all see some of what I have and be angry that they were wrong.

[SheilaKathy]

Yes, being diagnosed helped me too.

[avlady]

I am happy to see alot of you are doing good, it brings me up too!!I needed some cheering up lately.

[Schizo44]

Hi, I would like to be part of this thread. (I'm new).

[Shadow wings]

Popping in to say hi all.

[twistypringle98]

I couldn't get half of my depakote.
I got to b****ing at my sis, and she then went off on a cousin.
I went back on nicotine vaping liquid. This is the worst. I stopped smoking cigs for 3 months, and I had stopped the vaping of nicotine for at least one and a half months.
I started hearing things over the TV again. I should just get rid of it.

I've been having a rougher time of it.

[Nix]

I have been having a very hard time with voices. I'm being stalked and attacked. But it's OK. I realized it is familiar to me. This same thing happened before. I have been here before all alone and I did it before, and other people experience it too, and I can do it again and I'm not going to break. I'm going to be OK.

[twistypringle98]

I went on a walk today and noticed some things that were abnormal. The kids were saying some pretty weird things. These kids were probably 3rd or 4th graders or so, and they were saying things about smoking weed. If I wasn't thinking someone along with their friends was cyberbullying (and just regular old bullying me), then I would seriously consider the voices that I hear as schizophrenia. I got "into trouble" with people a while back (not this person or their friends). For what reason? I can't see why. One would think that people have moved on from something that happened 5 years ago and not to them. It was stupidity brought on because of loneliness, a young age, and impulsiveness. Plus, one would think that someone could muster just an ounce of compassion/empathy for someone who claims to be an empath.

[SheilaKathy]

I have bronchitis this week, so I am off work with Dr.'s orders and some antibiotics, etc. I hope to be back to work on Monday. I must admit that I am bored! LOL...

[avlady]

i hope you feel better sheilakathy, i was ill for a long time last year, it feels awful to be layed up in bed i feel for your situation and you!

[twistypringle98]

I had some crazy intrusive thoughts last night, followed by tactile hallucinations. I keep going back and forth between, "This is just me now, and I'm actually hallucinating things" and "People are doing this to me". I've even gone so far as to think others were planting these types of thoughts into my head, or using electronics to stimulate the part of the brain that would make me feel a certain thing. Then I read that sort of delusion is recognized in schizophrenia. I sometimes don't want to lay in bed because that is when it happens.

I have trouble accepting my diagnosis. I now know that last year I was delusional 75% of the time and probably should have been hospitalized for a while. I didn't see it that way because I was medicated and held down a job. But looking back at what I said, I never made sense. I switched meds, and now I'm paranoid but not delusional. (Other than when the paranoia hits which I can look back in hindsight and say, "That was a delusion").

[Nix]

Originally Posted by SheilaKathy

I have bronchitis this week, so I am off work with Dr.'s orders and some antibiotics, etc. I hope to be back to work on Monday. I must admit that I am bored! LOL...

I hope you feel better soon!!

I have had a rough week. A lot of night and early morning waking, paranoia, and depression that hit like a bag of bricks. I barely dragged myself out of bed except for going to work. But this weekend I climbed out of that state and I seem to be doing better so I'm just going to take it a day at a time and try to do my best to improve. I have a therapy appointment scheduled for the 16th. I'm a little nervous because I don't know how my therapist will be but hopefully I will hit it off with him.

I feel bad because I let a lot of people down this week. I was distant with some of my friends and complained to them when I was feeling at my wits end, and they got frustrated with me and are now upset. And I wasn't really available to my children throughout the week. And I was supposed to go to my ex's parents house for dinner, which I was really looking forward to, and then I had to cancel. And a romantic interest was potentially going to meet me to hang out and I cancelled on that, too. Ugh.

I'm just going to try to push through this week and make it better.

[Arther]

Red Leader checking in

[SheilaKathy]

Thanks for all the well wishes. I am getting over it now, but it is slow going. Lately I have been waking up in the middle of the night, eating and being on the computer. Then eventually I get tired again, but it can take hours. I paint a painting, crochet, or whatever to pass the time. Right now I have this feeling like something awful is about to happen, so sleep is not possible! I guess I have reason to feel this way. My niece, who is a teacher, one of her students threatened her life a few days ago. The school moved him to another class, but he is still harassing her through other kids from other classes. The school also took forever to move the kid from her class. They were thinking maybe that if they ignored it, it would go away. Yeh, right! Sure, whatever you say.... my niece is understandably a nervous wreck! (As am I). One good thing, no "voices" for me for the last few days very much. Just a bit last night, but I was able to ignore it for the most part! YAY!

[Blue_Bird]

So I've been off Invega since January and have not been on any other APs since and am doing really well with that.

I was doing perfect for awhile but the mood thing came back. My moods are odd again. I'll spend 8to 10 hours on the edge of being manic. I'll be doing normal for a few days, then all the sudden I'll get this intense rush of euphoria that is so amazing and I jump up and decide to not sleep and race around the house doing things and getting inspired and starting all kinds of projects, feeling amazing having the best prayers ever and feeling so connected to God that I almost cry and am so happy. Then barely sleep for 3 or 4 days. Them all the sudden it will stop, and I will go to sleep, not get up for 12 or 15 hours and lie there, not necessarily depressed but very down and kinda sad cause of that amazingness is gone if only I could keep it going

[Blue_Bird]

I've been having problems with the people spirits in my apartment again, I am just trying to ignore it though cause I will not go on another med that turns me into a whale.