[WastingAsparagus]

Post away! About your struggles or successes with this illness. Or anything you think is salient to post.

[Breaking Dawn]

Thank you. I have voices.

[WastingAsparagus]

I'm doing okay today. My olanzapine was recently increased. So that's good. Hopefully I'll stop having some of the troubling symptoms I've been having because of that.

[Breaking Dawn]

I've had some nightmares lately, & one really bad. I woke up screaming, so that was how I got away from the terrifying situation. Any of you having nightmares?

[Victoria'smom]

I don't have dreams.

[SlumberKitty]

I had bad agitation yesterday. I don't get that often but it was very disabling as I was going through it. I was having paranoia and anxiety as well. I took Lybalvi and the agitation, anxiety, and paranoia went away but I forgot how the side effects of that medicine are. I felt really dizzy, had trouble walking, felt like Zombie chill and had trouble thinking. I was super sedated.

[stahrgeyzer]

My T said I have schizoaffective disorder (among many other disorders). I don't believe her even though I have unusual thoughts such as nobody is real.

[Brego]

I denied the invitation to take Clozapine, was this a bad decision? There are practically miraculous results and its said to treat suicidal ideation in Schizophrenics. I honestly did not want to do a blood test every week. I am not terribly suicidal all the time and the feeling passed off. When I told my doctors I was going through these suicidal feelings, the feelings themselves were really minor. I may have exaggerated the entire thing. One of these docs said that the Clozapine could help with cognitive symptoms of Schizoaffective disorder. But I did not want to take it still. I was so happy and it was running through my mind that my movements and moves themselves were so unlike me. They must have been fluid, like water or something. I was just willy nilly doing whatever all it was during a few days. So, I think I was right in having turned down that Clozapine.

[SlumberKitty]

I've had a really tough week: paranoia, lack of impulse control, agitation, hallucinations, stress intolerance, distressing images, difficulty communicating, difficulty managing emotions, anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation. I feel a little better today so I am a little hopeful that maybe the worst is behind me (for now!)

[MuddyBoots]

@Brego I was on clozapine for about a year and it was very effective. Side effects were sedation, drooling and weight gain. I stopped it because I had to go to a special pharmacy for it every week and they would have trouble getting my labs so I always had to go through withdrawals every time I got a refill (which were awful as most AP withdrawals are). If you have any questions about it feel free to PM me.

@SlumberKitty I'm sorry you've been struggling so much. Hopefully you're right and things keep getting better

[Breaking Dawn]

Voices are the usual difficulty. I wish so much that I could have my mind & my private thinking room back again.

[SlumberKitty]

Doing better this week.

[Silver49]

So nice to find an online community of schizoaffectives. We are a rare group but also a diverse group of people.

[SlumberKitty]

Originally Posted by Silver49

So nice to find an online community of schizoaffectives. We are a rare group but also a diverse group of people.

I agree.....

[Brego]

I quit cigarettes in like December or something. I found a pack of cigarettes in the pocket of my non-smoking mother's jacket she gave to me. I went in there to tell her I was going to smoke it, and she totally said "Nope!!" so that I wouldn't smoke again.She took the cigarettes from me......

[Breaking Dawn]

I did better most of today & yesterday. I actually managed to fulfill a few goals I had been putting off. So that lifted my outlook a little.

[SlumberKitty]

I'm okay. I'm just really anxious. I have a Pdoc appointment here in a little bit.

[SlumberKitty]

I want to try to get off of one A/P. I'm on three. I've been relatively stable except for like a week when I was having a lot of symptoms. So maybe Pdoc will let me try to not take one of them.

[Breaking Dawn]

I'm ok at the moment. I followed through on a few goals today. I still have something harder I need to do & hoping I will do it.

[Breaking Dawn]

I actually managed to do the harder goal this morning that I was worried about yesterday. I have harder goals I need to get to, but I should give myself a pat on the back for any amount of progress that comes from effort, so I'm doing that this morning. It's weird though, I feel sad at the same time.

[SlumberKitty]

I'm feeling a bit better than yesterday.

[Brego]

I'm thinking I want to try some minimalism. This is going to be healthy. I want to try to find beauty products that I can buy over and over again, until I achieve a great healthy dose of vigilance and dedication to these or those products. Or is this sentiment kind of weird/strange? On my own I'm heading down the path of wanting MORE. And I've recently gone through that period where I'm screaming, "I never wanna die!!!!" like that Walk by Foo Fighters song. AND part of this is because of shopping with my Mom....do you believe I should go with my desires or my head and heart needing to live as one and go on together?


I seem to be heading toward minimal eating territory again. And I think I like it.....I seem to eat during winter more. But one of the docs said it's common to have something like that go on.


So, remember, Keep Breathing and live like Today's the Greatest Day You've Ever Know.

[Brego]

I think I've found some hacks to my illness. This will be so good going forward.


I've honestly been very worrisome. I got to this point when I wanted to celebrate natural beauty by going completely without makeup except my new OXY acne wash, alcohol-free toner, and pink grapefruit acne moisturizer. I seriously thought about it and throw out nearly all my self-care/beauty products. Later on, I rescued them from the outside garbage. I waited a little and bought some makeup at Dollar General and threw like 95% of my makeup in the trash. I think it was a mistake....

Fourth of July was uneventful. Mom and I had lunch at On the Border Mexican Restaurant and our waitress had on some great makeup! Red, white, and blue as eyeshadow....

[MuddyBoots]

Ran out of meds (Depakote, Zyprexa) Sunday so I'm just relying on my injection. No point in taking all these meds if I'm using anyways.

[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by Brego

I think I've found some hacks to my illness. This will be so good going forward.


I've honestly been very worrisome. I got to this point when I wanted to celebrate natural beauty by going completely without makeup except my new OXY acne wash, alcohol-free toner, and pink grapefruit acne moisturizer. I seriously thought about it and throw out nearly all my self-care/beauty products. Later on, I rescued them from the outside garbage. I waited a little and bought some makeup at Dollar General and threw like 95% of my makeup in the trash. I think it was a mistake....

Fourth of July was uneventful. Mom and I had lunch at On the Border Mexican Restaurant and our waitress had on some great makeup! Red, white, and blue as eyeshadow....

Thank you for such an interesting account!