Learning to adapt

I haven't posted here for a year or longer, and I thought I'd check in. After a long period of stability, some of which with zero medication, I relapsed and became triggered by the death of my wife in 2012. It is hard to say exactly what happened, but I think my grieving was amplified by the fact that I had not grieved my father (who died by suicide in 1982) or my grandparents (who died in the late 80s and early 90s). It was like all that grief came down on me at once, upon the death of my wife. I was hospitalized about 4 months after she died, and was there 3 weeks. I learned to depend upon support groups and my psychologist to counter the chaos in my mind. I am still doing this today, and have tapered down to a very low dose of risperdone. My mother died last febuary, but she had asked me to move in with her to be her caregiver. I am thankful for all the hard work I did, and the support I have received, that allowed her to trust me to do that for her. I will miss her, and am grateful for the happy memories we were able to create together, despite our mental illnesses (she was commited when I was 4). I have gained many life skills and coping skills that are getting me through my grieving of her death, and have even found recovery based work. I am a peer support worker at a charity in maine. I received training from DHHS in Maine. It helps to feel that my experiences can help others find some stability and recovery. I do not have a magic formula for success in recovery, but communication and social skills were vital. Thanks.

Hi brookwest, i remember your name. I used to be hankster. Sorry about your mom.

Sounds like youre doing well. always great to hear from an old buddy.

Sorry to hear of your losses, but it sounds like you're on the right track for getting back in the game of life. I agree with you that social skills in particular are important. Someone once said, "It's not what you know but who you know." I think that's true in every field of endeavor. I'd add to that, learn the system and see what you're entitled to. In my case, I'm an Army veteran, and for a long time I didn't know much about my benefits. Some friends urged me to check into VA hospitals and their psychiatric care, and I did, and I have a good psychiatrist through my local VA. That's free to me as a veteran. My time in service was difficult, but the lifelong medical benefits are worth it.

I find it's particularly good to have a circle of close friends to share life's triumphs and setbacks with. It's taken me years to build that network, but I reap the benefits every day.

I am so sorry for your losses. My heart breaks for you. I hope you have found continued peace in your life. Much love and lots of healing hugs being sent to you.