[mulan]

That's all. I hate laziness. I hate that I almost feel unconscious and lifeless. I hate not doing anything and being ok with that. I want my brain to wake up and to be more proactive, but I rarely can find the strenght inside of me.

I want strong feeling, I like strong feelings. I don't want to be anxious. I am tired of postponing everything. Everything is always tomorrow. It must be today.

And I am almost waked up inside when is 5am and I haven't sleep.

If I knew how to motivate myself and how to make me remember of doing that...

[Charlib05]

Originally Posted by mulan

That's all. I hate laziness. I hate that I almost feel unconscious and lifeless. I hate not doing anything and being ok with that. I want my brain to wake up and to be more proactive, but I rarely can find the strenght inside of me.

I want strong feeling, I like strong feelings. I don't want to be anxious. I am tired of postponing everything. Everything is always tomorrow. It must be today.

And I am almost waked up inside when is 5am and I haven't sleep.

If I knew how to motivate myself and how to make me remember of doing that...

I too hate laziness, and yet I find it so hard to stay motivated. I will start something and be really motivated but after a few days it peppers always. I think it is due to the lack of strong feelings like you say, I always feel that actually doing something will make me feel more feelings but it doesn't work. I disappoint myself.