[regal]

schizophrenia runs in my family. I have had a few episodes of severe paranoia, forgetting where a live, my phone number, thinking my wife was an FBI informant, etc. I was hospitalized about 5 years ago at the age of 34 and prescribed Zyprexa it was officially called a "psychotic episode" and I was released in 4 days because I lied to the psychiatrist and told him I didn't here voices anymore. Anyway the Zyprexa takes the demons away, but I have a hard time holding a job, I'm an engineer. Anyway I think my parents always purposely helped to keep me from being identified as a schizophrenic because in their time there was a lot of stigma and blacklisting around that diagnosis.

But I find it more and more difficult to act normal around people and hold a job, I'm always rumored to be on pot or something. I can't socialize period.

I am thinking about just going to a psychaitrist and get in the system instead of hiding my symptoms. I am afraid I won't be able to hold a job much longer as I get older. Is this the right thing to do, or do folks think I can keep up the act? I know people at work can tell something is wrong with me. When I am off work I just hide in the house, days at a time working on electrical projects and studying engineering. I am happy, not depressed, just getting worn out.

What is the best way to explain to people at work that I'm not a stoner but mentally ill? There are times when I just can't hold a conversation and have to walk away. It is just becoming harder and harder the older I get? Sometimes I feel like an awkward teenager, yet when I was in my 20's I could socialize easily cause I just told folks I was a pothead. In actuality if I smoke any pot I turn into a paranoid freak for a week. My first "psychotic episode" was at 18, then again at 28, then 30-34 a lot. I have been stable the last 5 years, but can tell I'm losing it. The Zyprexa is really wearing me out the older I get.

I took the online test and had a 38, but I doubt a psychatrist would diagnose me a schizophrenic at age 39 since I've been dealing with it so many years?

[lostandscared54]

your age won't have any impact on whether or not you get diagnosed schizophrenic. there is the common age group that schizo presents itself, But that is not concrete law