My p-doc told me I have a false belief

My p-doc told me I have a false belief and that it is a delusion.

I think sometimes that people want me to kill myself.

What does having a delusion mean? Is it really a false belief? What does this mean for me?

Does this mean I suffer from psychosis?

My p-doc increased my Risperdal to 0.75mg. It is still a low dose right? That means I'm not really delusional right?

Why do I have a false belief? Why is this happening to me? What kind of disorder do I have anyways?

Confused

<font color="green">Greenleaves</font>

I can't answer most of your questions, but here's a shot at a few: What kind or how much meds you take doesn't really figure into this. Having a delusion does not necessarily mean you have psychosis -- lots of people without psychosis have a delusion or two. Yes, generally speaking, a delusion is a false belief. I hope you'll discuss this further with your doc.

If most people have a delusion or two, how come most people aren't on an antipsychotic?

I'm afraid that my p-doc has misunderstood me. People really do push me to kill myself sometimes. They don't mean to do it, but they do. Things get dangerous because I have to prove that I really am suffering by hurting myself. I'm not really delusional. Or am I?

Sometimes I get obessed with an administrator on another online support forum. I think he is my friend and that he jokes around with me, even though he doesn't really participate. He moves things around and sometimes I think it is because of me. Sometimes I get really really upset. I think maybe sometimes I can't tell the difference between my imagination and what is really happening.

<font color="green">Greenleaves</font>

Well, some delusions are more harmful than others. For a long time, I had a delusion that most people thought I was a really laid-back, fun kind of guy. That's totally not true -- but it wasn't such a big deal that I thought that, you know? It wasn't really interfering with my life much. If you have a delusion that is causing you a lot of distress or pain, that might be why your doc wants to try meds. If you think he's misunderstood your belief, then maybe you should go back and talk about it some more.

What you're describing does sound like delusional beliefs to me. Here's a sort of thumbnail sketch for you:

a delusion that an administrator on another site is pushing you to kill yourself is a delusion that is a problem, that puts you in danger, and that medication is more than appropriate for.

A delusion, on the other hand, that -- oh, I don't know... A delusion that you're more beautiful than Elle Macpherson, on the other hand, is probably not a problem at all.

Make sense? They may both be delusions, but one is harmless, the other is not. And harmful delusions need some sort of treatment.

What bothers me, though, about this is that your doctor hasn't taken the time to discuss this with you enough that you can understand why he's prescribing this medication. That's worth going back and talking to him about.

So...my "delusions" are harmful and that's why I need meds.

I think I'm worried about stigma...of taking an antipsychotic. I think it's a big deal. I can't ever let my parents know about this.

Kiddo, at this point doctors seem to be handing out APs like candy, for everything from psychosis and anxiety, to premenstrual irritability. While I think it would be good for you to talk to your parents about what's going on with you and what your doctor is prescribing, I don't think there's much reason to worry about stigma. Aside from everything else, if you just tell them the name of the drug, they probably won't know anything about what it's for. Problem solved.

You're right, my parents wouldn't know what type of med I was taking unless I explained it to them. If they knew though, they would be shocked.

My parents don't know much about mental problems. They don't really know anything about my problems other than I probably get depressed every now and then.

I don't see why I have to tell them what drugs I'm taking...I don't need their help right now in terms of paying for it. I think I'll continue with my secrets.

delusion/false belief. Aren't those words just something someone made up cuz another does not follow their rules, their ways, their beliefs, views, vision, experiance etc..?

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Greenleaves said:
You're right, my parents wouldn't know what type of med I was taking unless I explained it to them. If they knew though, they would be shocked.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Some people take atypical antipyschotics for sleep.

gg

Hey Green. ..

we talked about this some the other day in chat, remember? I think you are worrying WAY too much about what other people think, will think, or don't think about you my love. You're obviously of legal age to obtain medicine w/o your parent's consent, so don't worry about telling them if you don't want to. Simple.

To address an issue that raises my concern for you. . . one thing that I have heard over and over from you is how other people "make" you feel a certain way or do certain things. Greenleaves. . .we are all responsible for our OWN feelings. Another person cannot "make" you hurt yourself. You said this:
"People really do push me to kill myself sometimes. They don't mean to do it, but they do. Things get dangerous because I have to prove that I really am suffering by hurting myself." This is a false belief hon. You do NOT have to prove your suffering to ANYONE, and certainlly not by hurting yourself. That is a choice. One I realize that you feel is often made for you, but a choice nonetheless that YOU are making for yourself.

Please PLEASE consider finding a therapist to counsel with Greenleaves. There is so much going on inside of you. And never EVER be ashamed for needing chemical assistance for a MEDICAL problem.

And by the way. . .FYI. . .Gracey takes Seroquel (an antipsychotic) 25mgs a night to help sleep. So don't sweat the fact you're on an antipsychotic, and don't stereotype yourself either.

(((((huggles))))

Gracey

I resisted taking an AP for a long time because of the "stigma". It was silly of me. Things got a LOT better once I started it. I am not currently taking an AP but I would not hesitate to take one again if things got as bad as they have been.

Delusions don't have to be 'false'.
Someone could have the delusion that their partner is being unfaithful... That could drive their partner to be unfaithful... Their belief would be true... But delusional nonetheless...

But any way...

> People really do push me to kill myself sometimes. They don't mean to do it, but they do.

Here there is some insight... You think that other people push you to kill yourself. But then you also say that they don't intend to do this.

It might feel like others are 'pushing' you to it...
Someone could feel like their nagging wife 'pushes' them to hit her.

But of course... Other people can't make us do those kinds of things...

And like you say... Other people don't mean to do this.

I've taken a lot on anti-p's in my time.
For anxiety and sleep among other things.

Wittgenstein is right -- again. (Word games is another great example ;-P)

This is what I've written to you about before: you don't have to hurt yourself to express your pain. You're saying that other people push you to kill yourself, without meaning to, but then at other times you've said that you have to kill yourself to show them how much you hurt. That's something very different.

In eating disorder treatment, there's a sort of mantra: Use Your Voice. The meaning being that, rather than showing our distress through our bodies, we can use our voices to express the same thing verbally. The same most definitely goes for you, too.

Good luck.