Negative Side Effects?

Does anyone have any tips of how to deal with the negative side effects of schizophrenia?

Like the total inability to have any motivation whatsoever. Last week I stayed in the same clothes and didn't bathe once. I wrote this in my journal and I hope someone can relate.

In the hospital I made sure I bathed every other day, because I feared being told to do so. Only in the beginning did they actually have to force me to take a bath. So it became a "habit" for me to do so. But it fell quickly, because it's not bad habits. Because I can't form "habits". It's odd. Part of the illness maybe? I don't really know. I think that habits are not the same for me and someone else who is normal. It's next to impossible to make anything a habit. EVERYTHING I do takes conscious effort on my part to make sure it's done and done correctly. Serious effort.

I have a few things that I have "set" in my mind that I HAVE to do. But they aren't habits. I don't do them subconsciously. They happen after I repeat 14 or 15 times "do this". Things I expect myself to do are. Washing my hands after using the restroom. It's not an option not to. Locking my door when I leave. It's not an option not to, and I would often leave it open before I was in the hospital. Not eating things that could harm me. Past due, undercooked, has been sitting out, etc. Not allowing my dog to eat things that could harm her. Taking my dog out to the bathroom every 4 hours, except at night time. Washing a dish before I reuse it. That's not everything, but those are some of the things.

I cannot fathom doing things like using coasters, showering daily, it takes a lot to remember to put my blinds up in the morning and put them down at night, because having the sun in my house makes me feel better. I see my mom do this stuff when I go visit her. Things like wearing socks with her sneakers and wearing coats when it's cold out and I want that ability. I know it probably sounds really simple to anyone who doesn't suffer with this, but it's not simple. It takes SO much brain power just to do the stuff above, that at the end of the day, I'm completely and utterly exhausted.

I wish that I could do that stuff and not feel like I just ran a marathon at the end. Or to even realize exactly what it is I am doing wrong? I live independently, and I pay a hefty toll for doing so. Like rewearing clothes, not having clean dishes, not getting bills done on time, not having a clean home and I have a lot of guilt all stored up in me for not being able to handle this stuff like my peers.

I was going through pictures tonight of times when I was more functional before my mental illness and I suddenly remembered what it was like to style my hair in the mornings. To wear my mouth guard to bed at night. To socialize. To wear appropriate clothing for the season. It was all so simple back then. Second nature. And I miss that.


Does anyone know how to deal with this stuff? I feel like I get caught in a perpetual hamster wheel every time I try to do things, so I am healthy. I'm not even asking to do things, like factoring in exercise. Things that take conscious effort by normal people. I want to do things that I see others do so simply.

Lydiab, i have trouble with these things too because i' m depressed. The more you do them, the easier it gets, and be gentle with yourself

If you are married or have a SO then you could ask them to help you. I have to remind my husband to do things that anyone else would do with no problem. So what I do for him is I make a list everyday before I go to bed( I work 3rds). On the list I put down things he must do and things that would make me very happy if he got to. For whatever reason it really helps him to work off the list. He checks things off as he does them and says that having it written out let's him see how much progress he's made that day. When I get up that night we go over everything he got to and I tell him how proud I am of what he accomplished. Do you have anyone that could do that for you or could you do it for yourself? Just remember to be proud of yourself for what you do accomplish. don't focus on what you didn't get to today because there's always tomorrow.