[costello]

My son is suffering from a kind of low-level depression. He's dealing with it mostly by forcing a kind of veneer of ... happiness isn't the right word, nor is cheerfulness ... more like giddiness. Forced giddiness. When I comment that he seems happier, he'll immediately say that really he isn't.

Normally I belong to the "fake it till you make it" school. There's evidence that if we pretend to be happy - by forcing ourselves to smile, for example - we will actually start to feel happier. With my son, though, I worry that denying his basic painful feelings rather than facing and dealing with them was what lead him into psychosis in the first place. I'm thinking it would be more useful for him to admit to himself how he's feeling and try to find ways of managing it. Depression is such a yucky feeling, though. It drags down your energy. Nothing looks good. You can't remember ever having felt good before in your whole, and you can't imagine ever feeling good again. Frankly I'd rather feel fear or anger or even guilt than depression. It robs you of your ability to take positive action to change your circumstances and your mood.

I wonder if the medication itself is contributing to the doldrums he's in.

[newtus]

I have tried the "fake it til you make it" trick.

I kind of fell into the habit of doing that now. Mostly because I realized as a child I was indirectly told to repress my emotions.

For awhile now I thought I was being overemotional a lot.
I was at times, but a few days ago I realized I actually just suppress stuff a lot more than become overemotional.

In all, I know that, if I try the faking it trick it makes me more depressed. Maybe because, personally, I don't have people in my (non-online/offline) life to talk to. But, the more I try to fake it, the more agitated I become emotionally and it makes things worse.

I'd rather sit in a depression, because personally, I can think things through.
Rather than, faking it and never addressing a bit of it.
Then it would just last longer for me
Than if I had just had addressed some part of it...at least.

My T says that depression is a way to communicate a need we have to others, and so suppressing that need by pretending everything is fine will prolong the depression. I was/am definitely a 'fake it 'til you make it' person only the problem is that I can fake it as much as I like, but now never 'make it'.

I definitely think that suppressing emotions will be bad for your son. My depression (due to need suppression) has got so bad I have psychotic features, so I think he should be encouraged to talk about what is wrong/how he's feeling. If I remember correctly, your son has a T? Encourage him to reach out to T, but if that doesn't help encourage him to call his pdoc who can tweak his meds.

All the best,

*Willow*

[Shoe]

Someone once said that joy is the sister of passion.
Maybe your son can meet someone here.

http://www.nolongerlonely.com/

[costello]

Thanks, newtus and Willow. You've pretty much confirmed what I suspect. I think he has had trouble with expressing strong negative feelings. He represses them. They go underground and turn ugly. I'll try to get him to express them effectively. Or at least bring them up into awareness, so they don't sit in the dark and fester.

I do think having a sympathetic person who listens is really important. Especially when you're getting a bit disorganized, it seems to help to have someone who takes the time to understand you and communicate with you.

Thanks, for the link, Shoe. It's a good idea. He does go on dating sites, so he's working on that area. I'll have a look at the site you suggested.

Thanks for your thoughts, everyone.

[costello]

Originally Posted by Shoe

Someone once said that joy is the sister of passion.
Maybe your son can meet someone here.

http://www.nolongerlonely.com/

Very cool. I emailed the link to my son. I hope he doesn't get offended.