[LylaJean]

My brother in law is 24 and diagnosed with schizophrenia a year ago after trying to pluck his eye out. "If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it away" taken literally. He is now on the roller coaster of medication changes, signing up for disability, therapy, trying to maintain a sleep schedule, and trying to hold a low stress job. He is the third of 8 children, and his parents don't always know how to help him. He was my husbands best friend until the schizophrenia seemed to take a part of him away. We really want the best for him and we want to be able to do anything that he needs. I just don't really know what that is. If someone could give us some insight, I'd really appreciate it. What's the best thing we can do for him? Anything we should know or understand? I've read several books on schizophrenia and also spoken to a few individuals who have struggled with schizophrenia but I still feel like I don't quite understand what's going on in his head or his heart, and I still don't really know what my husband and I should be doing for him.

[elenalovesthestars]

well, i can tell you that i've had schizophrenic type psychotic experience. it lasted for a couple of months until i finally told someone and got help. know that he probably doesn't understand whats going on in his own head...and can't distinguish between rational and irrational thought. just be there for him. to comfort him and know he's not alone with this. that youre there to try and help him through this confusing time, really does mean alot. xx

[mgran]

There is one really good book you can get called "I'm not sick and I don't need help." It's written by a psychiatrist who's brother suffered from schizophrenia, and is the culmination of his clinical and personal experience over decades. I suffer from schizoaffective disorder, and I have reasonable insight most of the time, but I can honestly say that this is the book I'd want my Dad to read if I was acutely ill. (The other is "surviving schizophrenia" by Dr Torres).

The thing I wish people could understand is how unhappy and frustrated I get with myself. I used to be very able, and had high prospects. It disappoints me no end that I'm forty and practically unemployable, that I can't drive, that I spent years studying at university, perfecting my skills, and it's been a waste of time. Your brother in law is probably acutely aware of his change in the social pecking order, and it does hurt. Remember to treat him as the same person he was before. He's still in there.

Thank God he didn't lose his eye by the way. In the past I've tried to cut things out of me, but fortunately nothing as vital (or painful) as an eye.

[LylaJean]

Thank you both for your responses. I will definitely find those books and my husband and I can read them together.

Your second paragraph makes me very sad. He used to be so smart, so funny, he was just the goofiest dude always willing to hang out, always wanted to get into trouble.... Eventually that trouble led him to some pretty heavy drugs, and none of us knew that he was experimenting with them until he nearly died of an overdose of ecstasy. He was even valedictorian. We are so sad for him. I think maybe tonight we'll have him over for pizza and movies. I think we need to do that more. He's always saying that he doesn't like doing anything with other friends because he feels like he's awkward and can't come up with things to say, but he says he likes spending time with us. I guess cuz both my husband and I are talkers.

Thanks again.

[lynn P.]

(((LylaJean))) - I'm very sorry your brother is sick and he's lucky to have you and your husband. I don't know a lot about schizophrenia but I do know some illegal drugs, even simple marijuana can make some susceptible to schizophrenia, especially ecstasy.

I can relate to the change you saw with your brother, although my own experience wasn't as bad as yours. My deceased brother was diagnosed many years ago with bipolar disorder. We were extremely close and he had such a wonderful vibrant personality. It was like someone took away my brother and replaced him with a different person. I made it clear I would always be there and loved him, but he wasn't able to reciprocate. I grieved the loss of his personality and I accepted him, but he just wasn't there. I hope your brother gets the right help and make sure he tells the doctors about the drug use.

[mgran]

I'm glad he feels able to come over and watch telly with you guys and eat pizza. I have a friend who, when I was ill last year, took me to her house so I could stay over, and fed me, put on some trashy movie (can't remember what it was) and really cheered me up. My son was away from home at the time, and I was feeling very vulnerable. It helps to have friends.

I get uncomfortable sometimes with people, because I know they see a difference in me. But one thing to bear in mind is that there's still hope of a recovery for your brother in law. Apparently about thirty percent of schizophrenics actually make a full recovery... I didn't know that. Another third manage their symptoms really well on the meds. The remainder continue to have problems for a variety of reasons (non compliance with meds, illegal drug use, other ill health, social exclusion etc.) By helping him retain his social life you're increasing his chance of a real recovery. It's very important to keep hope alive.

[lil-angel-wings]

this illness does not define anyone as a person....we are not our illness...

[LylaJean]

Thank you. My husband tells me a lot that it's like he has a new brother but he lost the one he was so close to and admired so much, so we know how you felt, Lynn. He always says he loves "the new him" but I know he mourns for the brother he grew up with. We love him still, with or without his illness. I didn't know that the statistics for people suffering from schizophrenia were so high, and I feel a lot better knowing that. If anyone can recover, he can.

[ickydog2006]

Look up "I'm not sick and I don't need help" on google. There is a link to a video about an hour and a half long that is really informative and helps you view things from the perspective of someone who is 'delusional'. The video is played using google and I think it was done for Podium TV.