[peaceweb602]

I think all roads i take will lead me to Hell...????? I feel scared. God hates me and he's in charge. I'm scared. How to break away from his power??????!!!!!!!!!

[costello]

Originally Posted by peaceweb602

I think all roads i take will lead me to Hell...????? I feel scared. God hates me and he's in charge. I'm scared. How to break away from his power??????!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this, peace.

[Trippin2.0]

Question: Are you looking for insight,answers,advice? Or just venting? I ask bcoz this is the 3rd post of yours I see surrounding this topic, which tells me you're not getting what you want.
.
I really hope that you realize you're N0T a puppet, that N0BODY is in charge of you, that you have choices and free will, and N0BODY but you can send you to hell.
Goodluck.

[RunningEagleRuns]

Ever thought of meds?

[Ackman12]

Originally Posted by RunningEagleRuns

Ever thought of meds?

Harpin' those mind control substances.

[costello]

Originally Posted by RunningEagleRuns

Ever thought of meds?

I think peace is already taking meds.

[RunningEagleRuns]

Oh okay. Do they help Peace?

[Galymia]

Try reading some Richard Dawkins. He is a wonderful scientist and evolutionist who doesn't believe in God and Hell and such and he could probably guide you on a non-religious path.

[costello]

Originally Posted by RunningEagleRuns

Oh okay. Do they help Peace?

I think peace said in another thread that the meds do help. It seems obvious, though, that it's not enough.

Are these thoughts new, peace? How long have you been taking the meds and how long have you been tortured with the idea that God hates you?

[peaceweb602]

Originally Posted by costello

I think peace said in another thread that the meds do help. It seems obvious, though, that it's not enough.

Are these thoughts new, peace? How long have you been taking the meds and how long have you been tortured with the idea that God hates you?

I've been taking meds since I was diagnosed, six years ago. The thoughts are the same. It's torture in a mild way since I don't do anything productive. I just let the voices run in my head, while I wait for another day... hoping for a better day.

[costello]

Originally Posted by peaceweb602

I've been taking meds since I was diagnosed, six years ago. The thoughts are the same. It's torture in a mild way since I don't do anything productive. I just let the voices run in my head, while I wait for another day... hoping for a better day.

Ah, hon, I wish I could help. It seems like you need to talk to the pdoc and insist on an adjustment to the medications.

[bipolarmedstudent]

Originally Posted by peaceweb602

I've been taking meds since I was diagnosed, six years ago. The thoughts are the same. It's torture in a mild way since I don't do anything productive. I just let the voices run in my head, while I wait for another day... hoping for a better day.

What meds have you tried, peace?? Have any of them offered you relief?

[peaceweb602]

I've taken a bunch of different meds that I can't quite recall. I'm currently taking Abilify and Cogentin. They don't offer relief. Sometimes, I don't even want the voices to go away because I feel like they tell me things I wouldn't be able to figure out on my own, but at the same time, they can be extremely distracting and quite cruel. I wish they would go away, but sometimes, rarely, I don't want them to leave.

[bipolarmedstudent]

Originally Posted by peaceweb602

I've taken a bunch of different meds that I can't quite recall. I'm currently taking Abilify and Cogentin. They don't offer relief. Sometimes, I don't even want the voices to go away because I feel like they tell me things I wouldn't be able to figure out on my own, but at the same time, they can be extremely distracting and quite cruel. I wish they would go away, but sometimes, rarely, I don't want them to leave.

You have to remind yourself that the voices are coming from your own brain, so anything that the voices tell you, you already know. You may not be consciously aware of it, but it is stuff you know, and you would eventually be able to figure it out without the voices telling it to you.

You can think of hearing voices as a disorder of discriminating self/non-self. The voices are in reality your own thoughts, but you have trouble mapping them as coming from your own brain. Because our minds try to come up with explanations for everything, your mind thinks of these thoughts as 'external voices'. That's how your mind explains their existence. So, even if the voices (thoughts) go away, the underyling knowledge and experiences that creates those voices/thoughts will still be there.

Sorry, I kind of went off on a tangent there. I dunno if that helped at all.

As for your meds, what dose of abilify are you on? Have you tried increasing it to see if it helps?

[peaceweb602]

Originally Posted by bipolarmedstudent

You have to remind yourself that the voices are coming from your own brain, so anything that the voices tell you, you already know. You may not be consciously aware of it, but it is stuff you know, and you would eventually be able to figure it out without the voices telling it to you.

You can think of hearing voices as a disorder of discriminating self/non-self. The voices are in reality your own thoughts, but you have trouble mapping them as coming from your own brain. Because our minds try to come up with explanations for everything, your mind thinks of these thoughts as 'external voices'. That's how your mind explains their existence. So, even if the voices (thoughts) go away, the underyling knowledge and experiences that creates those voices/thoughts will still be there.

Sorry, I kind of went off on a tangent there. I dunno if that helped at all.

As for your meds, what dose of abilify are you on? Have you tried increasing it to see if it helps?

Never would I choose to increase it. It sedates severely. I can't function because I'm on too high of a dose and my psychiatrist doesn't want to lower the dosage. I prefer to be on a lower dose, but my psychiatrist says a lower dosage might not do me any good. Well, on or off, I hear voices. I've been on fifteen for quite a while, and I haven't done anything productive or accomplished anything since I've been on meds.

[The Saint]

Originally Posted by peaceweb602

I think all roads i take will lead me to Hell...????? I feel scared. God hates me and he's in charge. I'm scared. How to break away from his power??????!!!!!!!!!

I'm not real sure where your at with the god thing but I do have some information concerning delusions and and helucinations.This comes from several resorces , The first subject or ideas that usally come to a person in acute psychosis are based on prime belife systems the prime is more than likely religous the reason this occers is your mind is trying to make sence of whats going on which is a hard thiing to do since it dosent make any sence at all.The other prime subjects may also include , police, government or even aliens have control over you or are watching you .I went through all of these things.The only way I found relife was to do what I call the JEDI MIND TRICK since my mind was running on it's own all over the place and making scary sience I started making up my own subjects for my delusion to fallow .The key is to fool your mind with the rediculess in doing so the delusions lose power and are a little bit more manegable.I do this using spock logic,example: I said in my mind that aliens all aliens were tibet bhuddest this doesent make any seanc so there for I woukd never see them so delusion concured,good luck with the rediculess try it it worked for me

[bipolarmedstudent]

Originally Posted by peaceweb602

Never would I choose to increase it. It sedates severely. I can't function because I'm on too high of a dose and my psychiatrist doesn't want to lower the dosage. I prefer to be on a lower dose, but my psychiatrist says a lower dosage might not do me any good. Well, on or off, I hear voices. I've been on fifteen for quite a while, and I haven't done anything productive or accomplished anything since I've been on meds.

Have you talked to your psychiatrist about switching to a different antipsychotic or maybe adding a med that will make you more alert?

I have read that the first-generation antipsychotics (haldol, clozaril) can be less sedating than the newer atypical antipsychotics. They do have more risk of EPS, but they may be a good option for you.

The other option is to add a med to counter-act the sedation. I was thinking something like wellbutrin or maybe even provigil, but I'm not sure if that can make psychosis worse. I think it's worth it to ask you pdoc about maybe adding wellbutrin to your abilify, or switching to another antipsychotic altogether.

This must be really frustrating for you. Abilify doesn't sedate me at all, but the highest dose I've been on is 8 mg. You really really need to talk to your pdoc about this though. The goal of treatment is to eliminate the voices and to make you more functional and improve your mood. It seems like your treatment isn't achieving any of these goals. You shouldn't settle for a treatment that doesn't work and has so many side effects. You need to keep talking to your pdoc and tinkering with your meds until you find something that works better for you.

One other thing -- are you taking your abilify at night or in the morning? And are you taking it all at once? You might want to try playing around with the timing. If you are taking it in the morning, try taking it at night instead. Or try splitting the dose (taking 7.5 in the morning and 7.5 at night). That can sometimes help with side effects as well!

I really hope you get this all sorted out!

[bipolarmedstudent]

One more thing -- Cogentin can sometimes cause confusion or difficulty concentrating, or a 'brain fog'. Is it possible that what you are experiencing is really the side effects of the cogentin, rather than the abilify??

[peaceweb602]

I've tried younger generation anti-psychotic medications, but they never helped... I think. I don't even remember because I never truly paid attention to my well-being since I was scattered and confused. Cogentin reduces the side-effects. Abilify alone made me sleep over 20 hours in one day, but with the Cogentin, my sleep was reduced to about 12 hours in one day. I still struggle with maintaining alertness, as I am drowsy, better than sleepy. I've tried Provigil but it never worked. I think I tried everything you guys mentioned, and it never worked. I don't quite know how to explain to my doctor I would like a change of medications. I'm afraid the change would damage me in some way or be worse. Ah, I feel so frustrated. I know some people have in worse in life, and I don't know why I've got to complain so much. I could suck it in and toughen up... if it only worked. I know I have my only unique stuff to work with, but I wish everything was just okay. I think I will talk to my doctor, and prepare to have a talk with him first so everything runs smoothly. I'm not good with preparing, organization, and concentrating. I can barely focus for a minute sometimes... it sure sucks. Thanks you guys for the feedback!