Scared

I'm so scared, I'm glad I wasn't alive in the 50s and 60s - god knows how effed up I might have been now.

But now it's 2012 - how far has it gone since then, MK Ultra never stopped, if I have my dates right, all those anti depresants and anti psychotics are from the right time, all the new ones are improved versions of them.

I'm constantly watched, I don't know who is a sleeper cell and how long until those meds end up in the water that we drink - mass mind control.

It's a long time since the 50/60s - so much more advanced technology, everyone is screwed - Dr Cameron might be a long time dead - but there are lots of other psychiatrists who have happily took his place.

Hey Kureha, I'm sorry you're feeling so scared. Do you have a T you can call and tell them how you feel?

I hope you feel better soon. I wanted to tell you that municipal water is generally very safe to drink. Where I live the water purification center constantly monitors the water for just the sort of things you wrote about. If you are particularly worried, you would be safe showering in tap water and then you could either filter the water you drink or drink bottled water.

My psychologist is back on Thursday, I'm seeing her then.

I have no doubt that the water is safe right now, it's just what the government will start adding to it, to brain wash everyone.

I'm not part of that now and I never want to be - but water is in everything, they are going to drug everyone.

I have no idea why people don't believe me, my psychologist said because it's too extreme, but so is MK Ultra and that is true.

Just look at what Dr Ewen Cameron was doing and I'm meant to trust the psychiatrist and take medication, just volunteer myself - I don't think so.

I think I would know if what I was saying wasn't true.

i fear radiowaves, tracking, and these newfound microchips theyve been shipping out to people. tracking and monitoring is HUGE and prob the utmost threat to civilization to begin with. now youve got someone like me..and then it becomes your life because you are tuned in and know whats happening behind closed doors.

not kidding. they send messages everywhere everywhere its vast and BECAUSE someone like me can pick it up thats when it becomes a threat to them and they continure with harrassment psychological torture etc.

They won't leave me alone either and it just won't stop.

They'll all understand when I'm gone though, my doctor knows my suicide plan, so if it doesn't match, then it wasn't suicide - just in case they wanted to make it look that way.

These things could be true -- but maybe not. You have to go by probabilities, I think. How probable are they? You cannot live in entire certainty; you have to try to judge what is probable and what is not. You can drive yourself into deeper trouble if you imagine everything bad that might happen...

I'm not imagining anything - I know it's true.

have you talked to your doctor about your feelings?

I missed my appointment, because I'm still ill, I apologised though.

I'm seeing the nurse next week. She is coming with the psychiatrist, I keep telling her I dont trust him, but she says I have to see him.

I'm sorry. I hope one of them can help you!

Hey, i understand your scared, i get it alot, when your in a room and your head is spinning and everyone laughs and says 'your just messing around'! No one believed me until the hospital said i am currently suffering from schizophrenia and after that everyone said sorry but no one sees or hears what i get! you are one of the only people who might understand me and i would definitely understand you! Do you ever get the feeling like some one is after you trying to rip my head after and get the bad thoughts circling this world? xx

MentalGal! - I think they diagnose people with schizophrenia to discredit the things they see and hear.

I would understand you as well and I always think there are people after me, well I know they are.

i know people are after me.
i hate the word delusion and i hate using it.

schizophrenia can be used to discredit people.
the biggest example is in the 60s against african americans
still is sometimes

I am taking Invega for the schizophrenia, and it does help some.
I still have a lot of paranoid thoughts. The doctor told me that taking meds is a trade off.
The drugs help with the paranoia, but my creativity is almost non existent. The pdoc really has no way of telling what we see or experience. So many things can be real, and just overlooked by the pdoc. I asked him about this one time, and he reluctantly told me it's true.My computer has been jacked for years. There are strange cars parked across the street. This is real, and not some delusion.
It's a scary thing when nobody is there to see it.Nobody would believe me anyways.

Sincerely,

sardean

You could use cameras to record things...

funny thing about doing that is
say..well i tried a few times to record a plane and helicopter that has no license plates on them and theyd fly away every time i tried to.
one time i waited longer until i did it. still flew away each time no matter how long or short i waited.

Trying to record a phenomena & connect the dots often makes you look "crazier" than just having the thoughts of conspiracy or being stalked... Unfortunately, isolation is what they want. But as they say "fear nothing but fear itself". If you let fear of their plans dictate your life, you're only submitting to them. Go out, have fun right in front of their ****ing faces & cameras. Show them how unafraid you are! Even if they ARE still stalking you, at least you're living well. Not as their prisoner.

i was recently dropped by a short term psych stating that i was so severe that she doesnt know why they let me out of the hospital early. i couldnt disagree more.

i cant live as im harrassed everytime i go out in public.
if i really...REALLY went out and lived i would be in jail. so i cannot.
thats only half of it. other half is i dotn want to be harrassed.
i show them im unafraid by continuing the process of getting info out.
im a misanthropist. thats my baseline blanket statement that sums it all up.

i live in fema region six of the united states of america.

i agree to my Dx as i hear voices and have cognitive issues. i dont deny. but i dont agree to saying im delusional. most of the reason is personal i have evidence that states reports that coincide with gangstalking rituals performed on victims. im just not believed about saying it is. thats the gist.