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  #1  
Old May 04, 2012, 02:30 PM
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newtus newtus is offline
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i cant get it out of my head!
i was almost put in RTC in 2008
i know that was a long time ago
but i havent stopped thinking about it for years since then

it just wont go away i feel so traumatized and scared
i rememeber sitting in the interview with all these people
i just KNEW i was going in
then all of a sudden they took my parents behind a door and i found out today they had told them i shouldnt go in cause i wasnt willing

EDIT//
i cut out the BS part.
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Last edited by newtus; May 04, 2012 at 03:38 PM.
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  #2  
Old May 04, 2012, 04:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newtus View Post
it just wont go away i feel so traumatized and scared
That would be scary to thing about. But in the end it worked out okay. Your wishes were respected. Is it possible for you to focus on the happy outcome instead of the close call?
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  #3  
Old May 04, 2012, 05:17 PM
fishsandwich fishsandwich is offline
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I don't think there's anything more frightening than knowing that other people have all the power over your life and can take it all away at any moment, with no thought or condemnation. It's certainly a fear that never leaves me (has never left me).

I don't have any advice, just understanding. Sorry.
Thanks for this!
newtus
  #4  
Old May 04, 2012, 06:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by costello View Post
Is it possible for you to focus on the happy outcome instead of the close call?
i try but...i guess i fear it coming back...again.

i just wanna thank you for always responding to me since ive first started posting. you and mgran both.

i started trying being compliant but its not that all helpful plus i really dont want to. and my new psych kicked me out after 2nd visit for noncompliance so meds are scarce. now. i had 5 now only 2. now.

i accidently overdosed last night. not on purpose. i just wanted to sleep and no wake up for a long time. actually sleep not die. 50mgs of ambien...i threw up black liquid last night. havent had that happen since i actually tried to over dose when i was 15.
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  #5  
Old May 04, 2012, 08:12 PM
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Originally Posted by newtus View Post
i started trying being compliant but its not that all helpful plus i really dont want to.
I don't know about your perception of how helpful it is, but from where I sit it's helping. You're much clearer and easier to understand than before.

Quote:
and my new psych kicked me out after 2nd visit for noncompliance so meds are scarce. now. i had 5 now only 2. now.
Hmmm... Did he or she make any effort to help you locate someone else? Do you have anyone else to see?

Quote:
i accidently overdosed last night. not on purpose. i just wanted to sleep and no wake up for a long time. actually sleep not die. 50mgs of ambien...i threw up black liquid last night. havent had that happen since i actually tried to over dose when i was 15.
Don't play with your med doses that way please.

Can your dad help you at all?
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  #6  
Old May 04, 2012, 09:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by costello View Post
...Hmmm... Did he or she make any effort to help you locate someone else? Do you have anyone else to see?....


...Don't play with your med doses that way please.

Can your dad help you at all?
psychiatrist just told me to goto this community place. she mailed me a certified letter about not seeing me anymore so she wouldnt get into trouble since it was only the 2nd time and the hospital referreed me to her.


my dad is trying to help.
i cant play anymore i dont even have anymore of that stuff anyway. i took it all.

im so depressed. haldol makes me very depressed. i started selfinjuring again. guess its good people can understand me now at least...
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  #7  
Old May 04, 2012, 09:36 PM
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Did you call to make an appointment at the mental health center? It can take a heck of a long time to get in to see a pdoc. Can the other pdoc give you samples to carry you through?

If the haldol is making you depressed, talk to someone about a different med or a lower dose.

Quote:
Originally Posted by newtus View Post
guess its good people can understand me now at least...
I didn't mean it to sound as if I didn't understand you before. You're just so much clearer now. But being depressed is a high price to pay. I wish you could find someone to work with you. Are you still seeing that therapist?
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  #8  
Old May 04, 2012, 10:31 PM
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newtus newtus is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by costello View Post
Did you call to make an appointment at the mental health center? It can take a heck of a long time to get in to see a pdoc. Can the other pdoc give you samples to carry you through?

If the haldol is making you depressed, talk to someone about a different med or a lower dose.


I didn't mean it to sound as if I didn't understand you before. You're just so much clearer now. But being depressed is a high price to pay. I wish you could find someone to work with you. Are you still seeing that therapist?
i didnt actually. went with my dad one day and they said they see a lot of people then we talked some and left the office.

i quit the therapist actually. i just gave up :/ i really dont want meds you know? i give up now.
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  #9  
Old May 05, 2012, 07:09 AM
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Originally Posted by newtus View Post
i didnt actually. went with my dad one day and they said they see a lot of people then we talked some and left the office.

i quit the therapist actually. i just gave up :/ i really dont want meds you know? i give up now.
Sorry for not responding last night.

I give up a lot too. I can understand that. Then I always have to ask what giving up looks like. Giving up on one thing means choosing something else. What next?
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  #10  
Old May 05, 2012, 08:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by costello View Post
What next?
this is usually where i end up taking a plethora of meds like ambien til i pass out

no more meds! no more meds! no more meds!

i told my therapist i wish i was brain dead.
i do.

dont want that haldol n e more
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  #11  
Old May 05, 2012, 09:57 AM
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Originally Posted by newtus View Post
i told my therapist i wish i was brain dead.
I know it sucks right now, but you're just at one point in time on your journey. Like a snapshot. There are lots of people right here on this forum who have been where you are and managed to moved forward into a better place. You can use them as role moddels. You're smart, and you have at least one person who cares about you deeply - your dad - and safe place to live. With that you can work on building the life you want.
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Thanks for this!
fishsandwich
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