[Nomad17]

Hi everybody. I'm not sure if this is the place to post this, but any thoughts and opinions are greatly appreciated.

Last night my parents weren't home, but I felt like my mom was going to somehow kill me. I believed she hadn't really left the house and was hiding and waiting with a knife somewhere. I heard footsteps. I locked myself in my room, and was up until 4 AM just in case she snuck in somehow. A few times I felt this sharp pain and knew she had gotten me, and at one point my arm got so cold I had to check to see if it was still there. I've been having trouble this morning figuring out if this was a dream or if it was real. It felt so real. I knew she was going to kill me.

I've had similar paranoid thoughts. I don't go out much because I feel like everybody is judging me and talking about me or is out to get me.

I see a t and a pdoc and I'm on anti depressants, and I actually emailed my t last night to tell her my parents were going to kill me. This morning I regret that because it will probably worry her to death, and because I really don't even know what happened, and I'm scared of what she'll say when I tell her. I don't even know if I will tell her. I immediately emailed her again saying don't read the other one (let's see how that works out...huh?) I'm so confused. Any advice/opinions?

Any thoughts at all are greatly appreciated,

Nomad

[Squirrel1983]

I've never had thoughts that a family member was going to harm me, only strangers. Strangers are scary enough thoughts to have, I can only imagine that a family member would be even worse.

If the thoughts continue, I would definitley let your T know when you see her next. Talk it out with her and see what she suggests you do. See if she thinks you need to mention it to pdoc or not. If it's a continual thing and not just incidental you may need more help from T or pdoc hashing through things and finding the cause for your paranoia.

[KUREHA]

I would talk about it with your therapist and see what she says and she will definitely read the other email.

[volatile]

I sometimes think my mom is trying to poison me or murder the family. I just don't trust her and she jokes about those things a lot. It's not like those things DON'T ever happen. She reminds me of one of those psychotic house wives from one of those Investigative documentaries. I just think if you're already paranoid and you are living with people that you don't trust to begin with then it can cause you to think all kinds of things.

[shlump]

Lately I'm only having momentary brushes with reality?

Damn thing keeps running away!

I think?

[Nomad17]

Originally Posted by volatile

I sometimes think my mom is trying to poison me or murder the family. I just don't trust her and she jokes about those things a lot. It's not like those things DON'T ever happen. She reminds me of one of those psychotic house wives from one of those Investigative documentaries. I just think if you're already paranoid and you are living with people that you don't trust to begin with then it can cause you to think all kinds of things.

A few days ago if someone told me my mom was going to hurt me, I would've laughed and said no way. She's not acting any differently than usual other than possibly being out to get me. I've thought about her poisoning me. I'm not going to eat her food anymore...

[Nomad17]

Originally Posted by shlump

Lately I'm only having momentary brushes with reality?

Damn thing keeps running away!

I think?

Hahaha. What's been going on with you, shlump.

[shlump]

in a bit of a shlump, but have been worse....

I think?

See the I think? theme

How are ya? besides not eating her food

[Nomad17]

Originally Posted by shlump

in a bit of a shlump, but have been worse....

I think?

See the I think? theme

How are ya? besides not eating her food

You're a funny one.

I'm doing alright. I thought about getting out of the house to feel safer and get some food, but I don't know which is worse-my mom at home trying to get me or people in public trying to get me...I think I'll take my chances with the public. *shivers*

[shlump]

Originally Posted by Nomad17

You're a funny one.

I'm doing alright. I thought about getting out of the house to feel safer and get some food, but I don't know which is worse-my mom at home trying to get me or people in public trying to get me...I think I'll take my chances with the public. *shivers*

planning on going public, are ya? I don't know what's open too.

[Nomad17]

Originally Posted by shlump

planning on going public, are ya? I don't know what's open too.

Our mall is open here and there's a Waffle House open down the road. Nothing like cheap breakfast and mass consumerism to start out the year right.

[shlump]

Originally Posted by Nomad17

Our mall is open here and there's a Waffle House open down the road. Nothing like cheap breakfast and mass consumerism to start out the year right.

Seems my mall is open too. Don't know about waffles, somtimes yes, sometimes no

[Nomad17]

Originally Posted by shlump

Seems my mall is open too. Don't know about waffles, somtimes yes, sometimes no

I'm not a big waffle fan. I definitely go for the breakfast sandwiches...and their chocolate milk is awesome.

[OutofTune]

I think it's important that you be completely honest with your therapist. Paranoia may not be a feeling you experience constantly but it's not a good sign to experience it at all. Do you take anti-psychotics along with your anti-depressants?

[Nomad17]

Originally Posted by OutofTune

I think it's important that you be completely honest with your therapist. Paranoia may not be a feeling you experience constantly but it's not a good sign to experience it at all. Do you take anti-psychotics along with your anti-depressants?

I agree; you're right about being honest with my therapist. I've realized that if i can't trust my t, who can I trust?! Right now I'm only on a high dosage of a mood stabilizer and an antidepressant, which I'm going to talk to my pdoc about next appointment because of ineffectiveness and sleep issues.