i want my mommy but she is sick and can not care for me i'm sorry do not get mad i sad

[costello]

Originally Posted by brookwest

i want my mommy but she is sick and can not care for me i'm sorry do not get mad i sad

Sorry, brook. What's going on?

my wife died, after a long, long steady decline in her health from renal failure and a clotting disorder; a month ago. my mom has been mentally ill and unable to mother since i can remember. my wife became my surrogate mom, but she just died. i'm safe and able to work and be a dad, but privately, i'm torn and in pain.

[costello]

Originally Posted by brookwest

my wife died, after a long, long steady decline in her health from renal failure and a clotting disorder; a month ago. my mom has been mentally ill and unable to mother since i can remember. my wife became my surrogate mom, but she just died. i'm safe and able to work and be a dad, but privately, i'm torn and in pain.

Oh, brook, I am so sorry!

[faerie_moon_x]

Sorry you lost your wife and your mom is ill. I think it's normal to be very sad. She's only been gone one month.

[faerie_moon_x]

p.s. when my mom died 20 years ago my father just kind of fell apart. My aunts had him on suicide watch. My mom was sick a long time, too. She had breast cancer. I was only 13 when she died, and after she died it was just me and my dad. Back then he was still my dad.

Anyway, my family let me know my dad was very sad and in danger because my mom meant so much to him. That was hard for me, because I already had depression (probably was already bipolar,) at that time, and still just a kid. And I needed my dad. And I tried to get him to go to grief therapy because they all made me go. He wouldn't go. And he suffered for about four years. And then he married his current wife, and changed for her, and became the person he is now, which is not good. All out of loneliness.

And so, now I don't have my dad or my mom. And so, my advice for you and your kids is to go to grief therapy. And grieve and be sad, and be a family with your kids, and all of you will get through it. It's 20 years later and both me and my father are grieving still in a way, but not like at the beginning.

i feel better. much thanks

[lil-angel-wings]

so so sad to hear your news... I have wondered how you have been as it has been so long since you were here... take care of you and hold your child/children close... for your grief is also theirs... dont hide it from them but share it with them... listen to them if they will talk to you, for children are full of wisdom and wonder because they have not suffered as much and as long as adults... remember to always kiss them good night and never go to bed angry... by loving them as much as you can you will find comfort in comforting them... No one grieves the same... some take much longer then others and some stay in shock for some time... also try to find the stages of grief so you will better undersand what you are feeling and that it is okay... it is okay to feel lonely, angry, sad... I have not lost a spouse, but have lost many many loved ones in my lifetime and the pain is never easy... I do not belive that you will ever stop grieving fully but I do believe that the pain lessens with time... remember all the pictures of the good times in your heart and let go of any bad... you can not borrow from yesterday for it is gone and you can not take from tomarrow for it is not here yet... you just have right now, at this moment... and last of all know that there is someone who understands and feels your loss... I can only share what i know, for that is all I am...

[lil-angel-wings]

sorry if i said any thing wrong

[roads]

brookwest, I am deeply sorry that you are suffering so much pain.

When people have been as close as you two were, the loss is huge. I didn't remember that you had a mother who was mentally ill. Do you care for her? You have a child, I think, is that right?

I hope you will stop by here often. I still mostly hang out in the addictions and bipolar forums, but I'll look for your posts. I remember our conversations ... you always kept me on my toes. * gentle hugs, dear friend *

Roadie

[cybermember]

brookwest, sorry to hear the loss of your wife and that your mother is ill. Keep posting. We are here for you.

[costello]

Originally Posted by lil-angel-wings

sorry if i said any thing wrong

You didn't. You gave great advice.

[FireBird]

I am sorry to hear about your wife. I will pray for you. I wouldn't know what to do if any one of my family members dies. I do feel your pain though. I could only imagine what you are going through. And to have your mom very ill on top of that, it is just awful. But I know you love them very much. Your wife loved you and you loved her. We will all be here for you.

[KUREHA]

Sorry
You just need to give it time

me went to MMC emergency room they help me very very sad now have wise mind got plan me wuv everyone here at pc!

[cybermember]

Originally Posted by brookwest

me went to MMC emergency room they help me very very sad now have wise mind got plan me wuv everyone here at pc!

I'm glad you went and got help. What kind of plan do you have?

[KUREHA]

Not a suicide plan thought right?

[costello]

Originally Posted by brookwest

me went to MMC emergency room they help me very very sad now have wise mind got plan me wuv everyone here at pc!

I'm glad you've reached out for help IRL and have a plan, brook.

i'm going to pargtial. and aa. seeing psychologist. he says me good and safe.

i still care for mum, but she still very sick.

[costello]

Good to see you here, brook.

u like me?

[costello]

Originally Posted by brookwest

u like me?

Of course.

I like you too. You post helpful words. Are you paid, compulsive or ( ).

[costello]

Originally Posted by brookwest

I like you too. You post helpful words. Are you paid, compulsive or ( ).

lol... Well, I'm not paid, and I don't think I'm compulsive. I guess that leaves ( ).

You're a nice guy, brook. You've been helpful and supportive here in the past. I really hate that you're suffering now.