[costello]

Troubles with the neighbors again/still. I'll try to keep it short.

I finally called the sheriff about their dog barking last Wednesday. I didn't want to do it, because I was scared they'd retaliate, but I simply couldn't stand it anymore.

We had several days of peace, then last night a deputy came to my house and told me that the neighbors had had some criminal damage to their property. During the course of the conversation, he asked if there was 'bad blood' between us. Then he asked me point blank if I'd damaged my neighbor's property. I talked with him a while, and I think he left satisfied that I had nothing to do with it.

This is very upsetting to me, of course, but I didn't set foot on their property much less damage anything. Since I know I'm innocent, I feel like I have nothing to fear if they're accusing me. My biggest worry is that they've started some kind of campaign against me where I'll have the sheriff at my door every week or so. That could just be me catastrophizing.

Anyway I slept only two hours last night. I was worried about my son too, because when I'm not doing well, he's not doing well.

So, he's been texting me periodically today, asking if I'm alright. Then he called midday, and I assured him that I'd had a pep talk from a coworker, and I'm okay.

Well, he just called a few minutes ago, talking faster than normal like he does when he's anxious. He said, "I know I'm not doing well, but there's something wrong, and I don't think I can go to work today. And I hope no one can hear this conversation, and I know they can't, but what if they can?" He told me he was going to go for a run and get ready for work, but he says he's paranoid because of the situation with the neighbor. I told him to call in sick if he's not feeling well, but I'm so worried about this situation. If the neighbors decide to get even with me by calling the sheriff periodically, I don't think my son will be able to hold up.

I hope he calls in sick. Maybe we can go for a walk when I get home. And maybe he needs to up his dose of Zyprexa for at least tonight and see if he can get in to see his therapist again this week. (He saw her this morning.)

Any thoughts or advice?

[brackenbeard]

Originally Posted by costello

Troubles with the neighbors again/still. I'll try to keep it short.

I finally called the sheriff about their dog barking last Wednesday. I didn't want to do it, because I was scared they'd retaliate, but I simply couldn't stand it anymore.

We had several days of peace, then last night a deputy came to my house and told me that the neighbors had had some criminal damage to their property. During the course of the conversation, he asked if there was 'bad blood' between us. Then he asked me point blank if I'd damaged my neighbor's property. I talked with him a while, and I think he left satisfied that I had nothing to do with it.

This is very upsetting to me, of course, but I didn't set foot on their property much less damage anything. Since I know I'm innocent, I feel like I have nothing to fear if they're accusing me. My biggest worry is that they've started some kind of campaign against me where I'll have the sheriff at my door every week or so. That could just be me catastrophizing.

Anyway I slept only two hours last night. I was worried about my son too, because when I'm not doing well, he's not doing well.

So, he's been texting me periodically today, asking if I'm alright. Then he called midday, and I assured him that I'd had a pep talk from a coworker, and I'm okay.

Well, he just called a few minutes ago, talking faster than normal like he does when he's anxious. He said, "I know I'm not doing well, but there's something wrong, and I don't think I can go to work today. And I hope no one can hear this conversation, and I know they can't, but what if they can?" He told me he was going to go for a run and get ready for work, but he says he's paranoid because of the situation with the neighbor. I told him to call in sick if he's not feeling well, but I'm so worried about this situation. If the neighbors decide to get even with me by calling the sheriff periodically, I don't think my son will be able to hold up.

I hope he calls in sick. Maybe we can go for a walk when I get home. And maybe he needs to up his dose of Zyprexa for at least tonight and see if he can get in to see his therapist again this week. (He saw her this morning.)

Any thoughts or advice?

in any event if you keep being the upstanding citizen i imagine you are, and the neighbors were to make some more calls to the police... my guess is the police are soon going to ignore the other party and not take them seriously. that's my guess... if the police need to contact you in the future about the neighbors, you could politely ask them to call your cell-phone next time.

there's a chance this was just a coincidence your call about the dog, and the property damage. even if it's not it doesn't neccesarily mean this is going to turn into anything bigger. this all might just blow over...

is there anyone else in the neighborhood that has a problem with the dog barking? maybe those people might want to make a call next time.

good luck. you'll make it through whatever happens!

[KUREHA]

If they call them a lot - they will probably stop coming out.

How is your son?

Hopefully it will stop soon

[costello]

Thanks, bracken and Kureha. I feel so much better today. Went for a walk with my dog last night then slept for 9 hours. I have a bit more perspective.

My son's still feeling a bit paranoid. He went to work last night and says he had a bad night and wishes he hadn't. Of course, if he'd stayed home, he'd be regretting that decision too.

I'm going to just take it a day at a time with the neighbors. They were in their yard when I got home last night, and they didn't say anything to me, so maybe they know I had nothing to do with their property damage.

If this continues to be a problem, with them dragging me into their drama and upsetting my son, I'll have to figure out what to do. I think even if I ask them to call me on my cell phone, my son would be aware, because we have such a small house. Anyway I'm not sure how I can reasonably ask that without explaining why. I did say to the deputy that I just want to be left alone. I keep myself to myself. I don't disturb the neighbors, and I don't want them to disturb me.

Life is stressful, and I do think my son has to learn how to manage stress, but right now he's working very hard at managing all the stress from the job. He doesn't need any more.

[KUREHA]

How you doing today?

[pachyderm]

Are these the same neighbors whose dogs killed your cat?

[Perna]

I would give the sheriff some credit; they are not going to come out to extensive nuisance calls and there's no proof that you have done anything/been on their property. I assume you have other neighbors and not all of them are difficult? I would speak to friendly neighbors and/or have them complain about the barking dog, etc. so the locus of who the trouble maker is becomes clearer. I would just automatically assume the sheriff is on my side and ask for their help; what do they suggest you do, etc. and explain your fears and your son's difficulties, etc. The sheriff is there to help, not harass. You are a good, upstanding citizen, they are on your side. Doing something from your point of view instead of waiting for others to do something will make you feel more in control.

[cybermember]

Costello, I think I would have called the sheriff as well. Actually, I don't think but know I would as a dog that consistently barks just puts me over the edge as I've found in the past and because of such, needed to check myself in.

Have things at least calmed down to a normal semblance for you and your son after the sheriff came out?

[avlady]

Couldn't you just confront the neighbor?

[costello]

Originally Posted by KUREHA

How you doing today?

I'm doing well today, Kureha. And I think my son's doing better too. I've got two really good nights' sleep in a row. And he took off work yesterday. So things have settled down a lot.

[costello]

Originally Posted by pachyderm

Are these the same neighbors whose dogs killed your cat?

No, they're different neighbors. The neighbors who killed the cat feel terrible about it and just want to make sure there's no hard feeling between us. She came over to apologize in person then sent a follow up condolence note. She asked if there was anything she could do to make amends in any way.

[costello]

Originally Posted by Perna

I would give the sheriff some credit; they are not going to come out to extensive nuisance calls and there's no proof that you have done anything/been on their property.

No, there's no proof, so nothing will come of it. I'm concerned about my son's reaction.

I assume you have other neighbors and not all of them are difficult? I would speak to friendly neighbors and/or have them complain about the barking dog, etc. so the locus of who the trouble maker is becomes clearer.

I live at a lake and the layout of the 'neighborhood' is such that the other neighbors wouldn't be disturbed. Our two houses are together. Then there are two heavily wooded vacant lots on the other side of them and one heavily wooded vacant lot on the other side of me. The nearest neighbors on either side are far away.

I would just automatically assume the sheriff is on my side and ask for their help; what do they suggest you do, etc. and explain your fears and your son's difficulties, etc. The sheriff is there to help, not harass.

Yep. I assume they're not hostile to me. I don't want to explain about my son's condition, because it's none of their business. Although they've been to my house several times over the years because of him, so there may be some awareness without my saying anything.

I have called and asked their advice. They've told me it's not their business to deal with disputes between neighbors unless a crime is committed.

You are a good, upstanding citizen, they are on your side. Doing something from your point of view instead of waiting for others to do something will make you feel more in control.

I'm not sure what to do. I just want to be left alone. Most of us out there feel that way. It's why we live so far away from town and our jobs. Mostly we mind our own business. I don't want to hassle other people. And I don't want to be hassled.

This new neighbor came out and told me within the first five minutes of our first meeting that he wanted me to tie up my dog and that he was suing his previous neighbor over his dog. That seemed really unfriendly to me. Even threatening. I don't want to be sued.

[costello]

Originally Posted by cybermember

Costello, I think I would have called the sheriff as well. Actually, I don't think but know I would as a dog that consistently barks just puts me over the edge as I've found in the past and because of such, needed to check myself in.

Thanks.

Have things at least calmed down to a normal semblance for you and your son after the sheriff came out?

Yes, things are quiet right now.

[costello]

Originally Posted by avlady

Couldn't you just confront the neighbor?

I'm not really sure how. I agonized about calling the sheriff about the dog. It was several weeks before I called, because I don't want to make trouble for people if I can avoid it. It simply became intolerable. If I had felt comfortable talking to the neighbor, I would have just gone over and asked them to do something about it. We don't seem to be on speaking terms.

[faerie_moon_x]

So, this guy the minute you meet him tells you, without knowing anything about you, to tie up your dog because he sued before over a dog??? And then he allows his dog to bark all night? Is that what I'm hearing? So, when you call the cops they retalitate and also call.... this guy is a grade A jerk. Nightmare neighbor!

I am going to say to please be very careful with this type of neighbor. And yes, it is worrisom with your son. Try to make sure this neighbor never, ever finds out that your son has paranoia, etc... .... because he sounds like the type of ignorant jerk who would automatically target your son as being "crazy" and "threatening."

I agree to get the other neighbors to also call the sheriff about the barking dog. Because if you all stand together against this guy, he will be the one flagged as the trouble making neighbor in a neighborhood where there have been no issues before. Stand together. Build a wall against the bully, because that's what he is, a grown up bully! Using cops and law suits as his fists!

[costello]

Originally Posted by dark_heart_x

So, this guy the minute you meet him tells you, without knowing anything about you, to tie up your dog because he sued before over a dog???

Pretty much. That's the condensed version. Within the first five minutes he told me that my dog was a problem, because it doesn't get along with their dog, so he wanted me to tie it up. Then he said that his previous neighbor's dog had attacked their dog and injured it. That's why he was suing.

It was an odd conversation, because my dog goes to doggie day and the off-leash dog park all the time and knows how to handle herself around other dogs. She's not aggressive with them. I was puzzled as to why they were so concerned. So I went into the house and called the owner of the doggie day care who recommended a dog behaviorist. I called that woman and made an appointment for her to come out the next Saturday and observe the dogs and give us advice.

I went back outside and told them I'd hired a dog behaviorist to help us. As soon as I walked out with my dog, their 14-year-old son started shrieking and ran away. I've never seen anything like it. It turns out the problem wasn't with their dog, it was with their son. He's terrified for big dogs. I don't know why they didn't just say so to begin with. I'm starting to think the son may be mentally retarded. I think they're embarrassed of him.

Anyway I asked the man why, if his son was so scared of big dogs, he moved in next door to a huge dog in an area with no leash law. He said, "I didn't realize how big the dog was, and there's always a leash law."

That's when the conversation got rude. The woman told me she has to tie up her dog, so I have to tie up mine. Well, she has to tie up her dog because it runs away when she lets it off the leash. That's not my fault. My dog comes when I call her. That's when I told them if they don't want my dog in their yard, they'll have to put up a fence.

I spend several hundred dollars a month and two hours a day commuting to my job just so I can have quiet and let my dog run. These idiots move in next door and tell me to tie up my dog and start making tons of noise. I don't think they understood there's a noise ordinance in the county - AND THERE'S NO LEASH LAW!!! The noise ordinance is for the whole day btw. You can't create a noise disturbance. The only exceptions are agricultural and industrial.

So, when you call the cops they retalitate and also call.... this guy is a grade A jerk. Nightmare neighbor!

It does feel like they retaliated. I mean four days after I call the sheriff, they call the sheriff. Apparently they had some damage, so maybe it's a coincidence. I hope so.

I am going to say to please be very careful with this type of neighbor. And yes, it is worrisom with your son. Try to make sure this neighbor never, ever finds out that your son has paranoia, etc... .... because he sounds like the type of ignorant jerk who would automatically target your son as being "crazy" and "threatening."

Yep. That's one of my fears. Them targeting him in some way.

I agree to get the other neighbors to also call the sheriff about the barking dog.

I doubt it's bothering them. Too far away. And we're really a live-and-let-live bunch of people. They're not going to call just as a favor to me. And it doesn't matter who calls. They'll blame me.

They also have junk cars and piles of tires in their yard. Also against a county ordinance. Personally I don't care. But as soon as the fisherman and picnickers start coming to the lake, people will start complaining. I'll probably get blamed for that too. They'll think I'm calling about their junk yard, but it'll be some busybody who's driving by and sees it.

[faerie_moon_x]

I see... hmmmm.... I wish I knew other advice. When I was a kid we had a dog and a back fence neighbor with 4 boys. They used to throw rocks at my dog, and stand in the yard and play catch right up against the fence. So, of course every time he saw them he was barking at them. They called the cops on us 3 times! I think finally the cops realized that they were the problem, not our dog. Our dog just got "trained" to bark at them by their behavior. So I understand how frustrating it is....

[costello]

I'm just going to try and keep a good thought and hope things work out for the best.

[lil-angel-wings]

costello
We had problems with our neighbor and I finally went straight to the source after calling the police to complain...we got things worked out. It was frightfull as He is a hunter and h carries a consealed wepon. I simply keep to my self and that has helped. My husband talks with him frequintly and things are okay now.

time heals all wounds I believe.
I hope it will be okay for you. it is scary when there is tention with neighbors.

[costello]

Thanks, Angel.

Last night I was home alone, watching a movie, and suddenly my dog started barking at the front door. She's not the kind to bark about nothing, so I was a little freaked out. I just told her to be quiet, and she settled down. No one knocked or anything, so I finished watching the movier. Before I went to bed, I let her out to do her business, and I looked around a bit. I don't know what I was expecting. A note, maybe. There was nothing, so I guess I'm just being jumpy over nothing.

I just hate that I have reason to be jumpy.

[faerie_moon_x]

That would make me nervous, too. At least it was nothing.