[newtus]

do you ever feel like you are watching yourself from the outside with this disorder?

i mean sometimes i do things out of paranoia. i am genuinely paranoid but i may do something like say drive fast to leave someone if i think they are following me but i feel like im watching myself. like i have no control - like someone or something is controlling me - like its not me. or like im on autopilot. or anything out of paranoia or even something else. i dont always feel like this. just sometimes.

[optimize990h]

Newtus that question you wrote sounds almost like a question for screening for a certain mental illness. Like a it came from a survey or something.

[newtus]

oh
sorry i didnt mean for it to..
i just wanted to make it clear..so everyone knew what im talking about.

i apologize for that.

[optimize990h]

It's ok Newtus, I did not mean for you to apologize. It was just a observation. I just wanted you to know I read your post.

[newtus]

thanks. i post so much i dont expect everyone to read it.

[paradiso2340]

Originally Posted by newtus

thanks. i post so much i dont expect everyone to read it.

So I just saw your post and it jumped out at me. I have not been diagnosed with psychosis or schizophrenia. I have been experiencing a form of "watching" myself but to me its from the inside. Like my thoughts and ideas do not flow freely, but like I am too aware of them. Have you experienced anything like this?

[faerie_moon_x]

I get the "outside of myself" feeling a lot, actually. Not everyday, but alot. And during epsidoes especially.

Like, when I have a major explosive episode I am both me and then not me. I'm like.... watching it happen even while it's happening to me. Hard to explain. After an episode I feel really strange. My whole body feels strange, both physically and mentally. And during episodes I lose a lot of control. That's when I usually go into attack mode, meaning I will attack myself.

Sometimes I feel like I'm not really connected to my body and everything around me feels weird and foggy. Then suddenly I feel like I get slammed back into my body and it's just this eerie feeling, and the world like colors and light all get brighter, sounds get louder.... It's weird.