[Eleora]

School started on Tuesday the 5th. I did well on the first day, especially considering this is my first full-time year of high school since I was forced to drop out and be apart of a program at the hospital.

The night before the second day, I was hearing screaming, and it sounded like people were knocking on my doors and my window. I took some medication (leftover Seroquel from when I was on it), and managed to catch a few hours of sleep.

When I got up the next morning, everything seemed okay. I went to school, got to my first class (albeit a little late), and then about halfway through I started hearing the screaming again. Luckily, the teacher I had knew about why I dropped out, and allowed me to go for a walk.

I went back to class after a walk, and it seemed a little bit better, but when I got to my next period class it was full-blown again. I chose to remain in class, although it was very difficult to act like nothing was going on.

I ended up skipping my next class as I went to my vice principals office, where he called the youth worker down (who is in charge of the "high risk teens" that includes myself and others with mental illness), and I bawled my eyes out.

I am having serious doubts. I'm not sure I can do this all year. I guess I am posting just to know if anyone else can relate to this, as I am feeling really awkward and out of place.

[Ziggymuzik]

Hey girlbassplayer, Hang in there!!! You can do this! I am glad that you have that available in your school. Be strong and know we are here always for you !!!
It will be ok, sweetie.
Your chat buddy,
Ziggymuzik

[January]

Hi Girl,

I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time. Are you on meds at all? Can you call your pdoc and perhaps gets new meds or a med adjustment?

I wish you the best.

Hugs,

Jan

[Eleora]

I'm not on medication, I came off of the oens I was on in Early August in preperation for new medications. I couldn't take the time off work at the end of August, so I need to go in soon. However, I don't know how trying another med is going to fair, since it will most likely just make me tired all the time.

I'm pretty devastated by this first week. I don't know how I get lower then this, but I am sure it'll just get lower and lower as school goes on.

[Sarah116]

Yeah, I took Seroquel in June, now I am back in school and sometimes things are just pretty nasty! I hope to see my shrinks soon and maybe get another medicine! I also have some leftover Seroquel and am so tempted to just take it! I wish you luck! Sarah
Do you have emotional support teachers at your school? We do and also Learning support. Which I am with most of the day.

[January]

Girl, please go to your pdoc. You probably need meds to help you through this so you can suceed in school. There's nothing wrong with taking the meds as directed and the tired feeling usually wears off after a while.

Hugs,

Jan

[Sarah116]

I know and I'm trying! I bet Girlbassplayer is too! Thanks so much for your warm reply and kind response and for taking time to write one! Good luck to you GirlBassplayer I can understand how hard it is because while you are I am too! Sarah ((((Jan and Girl Bass player))))

[MyBestKids2]

I am so sorry for your extremely difficult time. With the added stress of school, its not easy. Please try to see your Pdoc to get yourself back on some meds. It sounds like you are having such a struggle. My thoughts are with you!!

[mlyn]

Please don't give up!

[Eleora]

I'm still having a lot of trouble.

Luckily, they are making an exception for me, and instead of doing two morning classes, are going to allow me to do a co-op program (work for credits). The placement I have is in the mental health adult out reach program at the hospital, which is pretty nice. They said they understand I have some problems, have a position for me, and are excited I have first hand experience as well as professional experience in the mental health field.

I still worry I am going to fail miserably. I am making an appointment with my doctor about medications on monday. Argh... I didn't want to give in, but I feel like I don't really have a choice.

[Sarah116]

Good luck Bass player, when I get better and much older i hope to go for the Mental Health field! I wish you luck. Stay in touch with PC! Sarah