relapse of psychosis

Earlier in the year I had an episode of psychosis.

I was seeing and hearing things, I believed there were people trying to kill me, that I was meant to be dead. I thought magpies were out to conspire against me and Id hide in my house with the curtains closed and often hiding behind furniture. I would feel spiders crawl all over my skin and in my ears and Id feel someone tapping on my shoulder.

I ended up in hospital for a couple months before I evened out enough to go back home.

Im very fortunate to be on a medication that has helped a lot. I now only occasionally hear things. Im on Olanzapine.

My care coordinator tells me Im feeling better because Im on the medication rather than Im feeling better so time to stop the meds. She says I need to stay on them for about a year, but Im so scared of coming off them again. What if I relapse? Im scared about the symptoms catching up with me as I decrease my meds.

Im having to redo my final year of uni because I had to suspend my studies due to the psychosis.

as Ive only had one episode theyve diagnosed me with first episode psychosis. I read paranoid schizophrenia on my hospital notes, but they didnt diagnose me, I think you might need to have several episodes before that diagnosis.

Has anyone else been through something similar? Id be interested in hearing how a decrease in medication went for you.

-RJ

I had one real episode then a little relapse about a year later so I had to wait two years before coming off the meds. I was scared too that I would go back to how things were during my psychosis. Tapering off the meds is a pain...it's like you're not yourself on some doses. I'm currently on 2.5mg of abilify which is a quarter dose....probably not protective against psychosis but I'm fine better than I've been in two years. I feel like me again, it was like the medicine had slightly changed my personality and now I'm my real self again. I was afraid to go off now I'm hating what the meds did to me.

I have a thread titled these aren't candy that went through my conflicting emotions on the process if you want to look it up.

this is what i went through and why i ultimately stopped the meds. now i have no choice. i on injecctions.

The prognosis is good in first episode psychosis. I understand your fear about coming off meds, especially if you are doing so well now.
I suggest continuing in your support systems like therapy and peer support. Try finding a peer support group and doing everything you can to take care of yourself body, mind and spirit. You will know when you are ready to come off meds, and you can do it successfully in time.

Thank you for sharing your experience.