[ickydog2006]

First paragraph rant and a little graphic

Do you know what it's like to be able to have a life. To have a conversation and be able to focus... on them... not the voices, not the blood dripping down their grayish face. To not wonder if this will be the time you finally snap and give into the urges. If this will be the person you stalk and mutilate, in hopes that your delusional half might give you a break.

It's all gone, all the hallucinations, and now I'm slowly progressing to living my life. It's hard to do that though. I'm not use to this person. I'm not use to being able to be in public and not slowly be pushed to insanity. I'm living, and it's amazing, and I want to shout it to the world. But that means shouting out who I was. And that is hard and scary. In fact, this is the first week that my mind hasn't been secretly drifting off wondering where the voice is and if everything is really going to stay gone. I think God has healed me. But even that, I can't be too too open with; I was delusional before, what if they think that is delusional. There really is no other explanation, and it's a miracle. It's comforting to know that many others agree with me, that it was God. No one agreed with me when I was delusional.

[costello]

It's good to hear from you, icky. I'm glad you're well. If you credit God, I won't call you delusional. Lots of people believe God heals.

I am so glad you're feeling better & experiencing some clarity, Icky. It's been a while since we've heard from you! Just keep making progress -- not to be negative, but it doesn't mean you're out of the woods now that you aren't actively psychotic. Now is the time to put measures into place to prevent yourself from entering that scary state again.

[faerie_moon_x]

I'm so glad to hear that you're doing so much better.

I think you can shout out to the world without saying exactly where you came from. An example is if someone says "Have a nice day," you can smile proudly and happily say, "I will! You have a wonderful day as well!" Your cheerfulness will spread to that person without them having to know why. Just the act of smiling at people lifts mood. It's a positive thinking tactic that I actually use that actually does help me.

What is that old saying "Practice random acts of kindness and senseless beauty." Or something like that. We used to use that saying at my church youth group to go around doing "random acts of kindness." They had to be anonymous so that no one could say "thank you." So we'd go around putting quarters in soda machines and such. This is actually very uplifting and makes you feel you're celebrating life. It's like a pay it forward type of attitude. You've been healed, you can pay your joy forward without having to share your story until you're ready to do so.

It's wonderful to hear that you're doing well Icky. Long may it continue

*Willow*

[likewater]

Dear Icky,
I'm glad you feel better. I'm sorry it was so horrific for you. May you continue to do well. And it' s ok if you say God healed you. You would be the one to know best what you have and have not experienced.