[CancerofSociety]

So, I've been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and Schizophrenia (still in predomal stage though), but have almost all of the traits of an ASD. My older brother has severe ASD and is violent/severe, which may have caused it to be overlooked. Abused and stressful childhood with family history of mental illness. Was hospitalized for 2 years bc of self harming behaviors (oding and anorexia too), but am wondering what my actual diagnosis could be since it was like a random guessing game there. There's a lot more symptoms, but what do you guys think? (misdiagnosis since I wasn't very open back then?)

Schizo and ASD symptoms
-shadows move at night when tired (started at young age)
-cannot understand audio/verbal much (especially audio books since I can only comprehend the words but not put them together)
-not fond of touch unless in certain mood (although I do like my back traced/light massage/hair messed with)
-don't understand what others are thinking and it frustrates me/makes me completely paranoid
-at early teen (and still) felt like stabbing people bc they were looking at me wrong and I thought they were thinking negative thoughts about me and it kept replaying in my mind
-pacing (alot) but stuck in my mind while doing it
-cant regulate or deal with emotions well
-have had a premonitions (not hallucination) and knew that people/animals died couple days before they did
-delusions
-fact vs fiction is blurred (cant read conspiracy theories/news anything or I become completely paranoid and take it to extremes)
-horror movies/violence runs through my mind over and over until I become homicidal but I'm doing it from fear/the thoughts and images keep playing and I want them to go away
-feels like my thoughts have been taken away or all of my thoughts are fake and created
-extremely jealous and convinced my bf is cheating on me somehow even though he always is with me
-world doesn't feel real sometimes as well as other people (matrix like and other people don't exist)
-not suicidal but feel impulses (my mind tells myself to do it over and over) to jump into traffic/off building/kill myself/other behaviors
-cant deal with change much and wish I could control the thoughts of others
-Thoughts that nobody likes me and secretly hate me
-I feel I need to sensor my thoughts bc people can read them or they get transmitted so others can listen in
-paranoia
-hate loud noises...they hurt (I can hear very well)
-if I'm not interested in a topic I don't answer much but if I'm interested I'll have a one sided convo all about the topic
-I get lost in my daydreams where I create a fantasy world, but I never see it outside of my mind and is in 3rd person
-Sorta anti-social since I don't know how to talk to people very well or know how social interaction is supposed to go and am socially awkward
-Don't understand most jokes/sarcasm/speech
-Can't make eye contact (don't understand what they are saying easily when not looking at hands and also I get paranoid and feel they can read me)
-Clumsy/bump into things/can't use fine motor skills much
-Get really obsessed about certain things for a while then switch to a next obsession
-connect and see a deeper meaning in everything than most people
-Morning ritual (have to get up-restroom-eat/drink before anything else)
-inappropriate use of facial gestures
-naive and have been taken advantage of multiple times since I don't know how to not be manipulated or get out of those situations (too socially awkward and want to be liked/not upset people)
-very honest and blunt and I think I'm being really nice but apparently it comes across differently
-sensitive to senses and am good at visualizing but not audio
-friends older or younger
-don't share things that are going on around me much with people and am a bit aloof/distant
-when I get tired I tend to cry and through a tantrum especially when told to go to sleep
-I get really focused when interested btu then have to get up an pace sometimes
-always moving (usually twirling or putting hair in mouth/fidgeting/hands in mouth)
-likes making things spin (car wheel vs playing with car)
-really good at science/social studies/reading/math/facts/building things
-no close friends or really any( bc I moved and don't leave the house)
-can't talk to people unless comfortable with them or specific environments
-get really hyper late at night and want to roughhouse
-abused my cat (shook it in a box over and over) bc I didn't know I was hurting it and didn't feel much empathy until after 10
-narrow interests
BPD symptoms
-identity issues
-self harm
-can't stand being alone
-idealize then despise people once they disappoint me
-disassociation and feelings of empitness/boredom
-intense mood swings but triggered by events/thoughts
-jealousy and possessiveness with really bad fear of abandonment

[medicalfox]

Besides injuring a cat this sounds a lot like me. I dislike being touched, but I tolerate it as best as I can so I can fit in. The social traits you explained I have too. You can get diagnosed by a neuropsychologist and the test is several hours long. My insurance covered the whole fee luckily since it's quite an expensive test. Your psychologist can refer you to one in your area. If you have any more questions feel free to ask

I'm sorry I only read a little bit because I'm struggling to read, but it sounds like you need a second opinion. Hopefully that will clear up any doubts you have.

I'm also surprised you were given a sz label if you're prodromal, because sz is a serious label to have and prodromal symptoms could be anything, as you suggest, so if I were the professional I would watch and wait to see how things develop rather than slap a serious label on you that might be wrong, but that's just my opinion.

All the best

*Willow*

[sweetmadness]

Honestly, anyone can be anything. Schizophrenia symptoms are what come about due to being more prone to psychosis, typically through genetic dispositions. Everyone is going to experience it a little differently.

[faerie_moon_x]

I'm also struggling to read today. but, I read some.

Theres some research showing that schizophrenia and autism (and bipolar, ADD, and depression,) are all from the same gene having issues but those issues develop differently in different people. So, you can see a lot of different concerns in the same family.

Also, other people here have voiced how they feel they have similar effects of autism. So, I think it's research in the right direction.

I know asp is similar to autism, so it could be something like that.

[CancerofSociety]

Originally Posted by medicalfox

Besides injuring a cat this sounds a lot like me. I dislike being touched, but I tolerate it as best as I can so I can fit in. The social traits you explained I have too. You can get diagnosed by a neuropsychologist and the test is several hours long. My insurance covered the whole fee luckily since it's quite an expensive test. Your psychologist can refer you to one in your area. If you have any more questions feel free to ask

Thank you and sorry for taking so long to reply...being without tech helps me a bit. I'm actually on ssi since I was hospitalized for 2 years where they basically just tried all the atypical antipsychotis they could with no luck. Do you have to get referred since I stopped seeing one?

[The_little_didgee]

It sounds like you haven't been thoroughly assessed. An ASD assessment may help clarify what is going on with you. It can provide understanding into your issues. Anyway, you listed a lot of ASD traits.

You can get a referral from a GP.

Your list of symptoms suggest other disorders, besides schizophrenia and BPD. It is important to find out what is going on, because the wrong diagnosis can lead to inappropriate treatment and a poor outcome.

ASD can resemble other conditions, such as schizophrenia. The negative symptoms (E.g., nonverbal deficits) are similar, but they become apparent when that illness emerges, rather than in early childhood.

The right diagnosis makes a difference. I know. Prior to my ASD diagnosis, I was told, I had a myriad of disorders that failed to describe what I was going through. It was frustrating, because treatment wasn't helping. Eventually the psychiatrists blamed me for my lack of progress.

[IndieVisible]

I agree with getting a test or a second opinion. I get a lot of what you listed too! And I am sure I could also be diagnosed with schizotypal or schitzoeffective if I answered questions a certain way and left out other things. Others are right by saying many of us experience many of those symptoms including delusions and even hallucinations too. For example, I still believe certain songs on the radio are directed only towards me from God and have a secret message. Usually I can dismiss this and see how irrational it is but some times I do believe it too. Occasionally I hear voices outside my head, very rare and far apart and brief. Never lasting more then 10 seconds. My most recent was a few weeks ago when I laid down to go to bed, I heard a female voice say "hello James" I looked around and no one was there. I know I was perfectly awake because I have a severe sleep disorder and it takes me on average 3 to 4 hours to fall asleep, some imes much longer and some times zero sleep. The voice sounded as clear as could be as if some one was standing right next to my bed. If I dwelled on that no telling what could happen but I excuse it as a fluke and could not have been real. The point is some times things are not as they first seem, even with diagnosis. Get a second opinion!