[JoyDivision7680]

I was writting a bigger post but apparently it took me so long, that I got logged out so everything is gone. Alright, so I am not sure if my 53 years old uncle has schizophrenia, since my mother (who told me his dx) isn`t sure either and I have never witnessed any episode of his since we have only seen each other one time, 8-9 years ago.

Brief info about him:
-never had sexual intercourse
-his main obsession is chess, and he will talk all day about it if you ask him to (I don`t blame him though, his compositions are internationally recognised)
-he has strange habits, like always wearing a cap, never taking a full shower but rather washing one part of his body at a time
-almost never opens the window in his room
-after someone said something rude to him, he rarely goes outside; last time he did that was like 10 years ago - he needed to see the psychiatrist
-you must follow a few rules if you are inside his room, like never touch his things, never sit without him telling you to, never sit where you like, but wait for him to show you a place, etc.
-he has reported a pressure around his head crown when he doesn`t feel good
during his anger episodes, he becomes very violent verbally, all his anger being throwed towards his mother; also, notes with violent things about his mother have been given to her by him "for the doctor to see them"
-during those episodes he may say blasphemous things, though he is very religious
-physical contact problems, but only when it comes to being close to women (in his case my mother, who is his cousin); he would sit/stay far from her, but this could be a consecuence of his celibate, especially because he is feeling very ill and wants to get married as soon as possible

That would be all I can remember now. Some of those facts made me think he might have Asperger`s too. It seems stress does very bad to him, since not even now after his medication has been changed he doesn`t feel very good. Also, his mother has invented a woman who "knows him since he was a kid and wants to get married to him" because she was afraid her son would commit suicide -as he often said-, thus something important should come into his life and make him feel a little better. That, if you ask me, isn`t very good, because he will eventually find out everything is a lie (his mother writes him in behalf of that woman, but he already suspects something because the woman never drops by to see him) and god knows what it`s gonna happen.
I apologise for the chaotic style and grammar errors. I need to know if his sz dx comes any close to an accurate one, just for my curiosity. Same thing with Asperger`s.
My uncle had a twin brother who had sz too; he died in 1987 after he slipped on the balcony and fell.
Is there anything I can do to help him? He`s one of my best friends since I was a kid writing him about my ugly family situation...he always gave me good advice. If I remember anything I`ll add. Once again, sorry for the post; I am writing using a tablet`s keyboard and in addition to that my English is far from perfect. If you need any details/stories about him ask.

[faerie_moon_x]

Well, actually in reading your description of him I was thinking it sounded like autism, (or aspbergers too.) Anyway, I'm not a doctor of course, but even if he has sz it could be more than that. But there's been some research showing that autism and sz are both on the same gene (along with bipolar, depression, and ADHD,) but you know that's new research and a lot more needs to be done.

I agree with you that it's not so good his mom is writing him fake letters from a woman who doesn't exist. That's not healthy. I know she means well but I agree it won't be good once the truth comes out. But, I don't know what you could do to help him.

I have to say I experience pressure in my head when I'm not feeling good mentally. It's usually at the front of my forehead and it feels like my brain is expanding like a balloon inside my head. I have no idea what it means or if it has anything to do with my bipolar or not. But, I have it when I'm not doing well at all and it makes me nervous to feel that way. I don't know if it might be similar to what your uncle experiences.

[JoyDivision7680]

I experience that presure in my forehead too! It used to be much more intense and I felt it permanently, but now is weaker and it comes only when I am concentrating on something. Now, I don`t know if you believe in such things, but I read that if one feels that presure in their forehead and see something like purple clouds with their eyes closed, it means that the third eye has opened. On the same matter, who feels that presure located on the tip of their head has a blocked chakra or something.

My uncle certainly must have a mild form of autism/Asperger`s, he has too many symptoms of that! Well, I suspect he is rather bipolar 2 or even 1 than schizophrenic, since I haven`t heard anything about him hallucinating yet, but do bipolar/Aspie people get THAT violent? And on their mother? I`ve read that generally people with sz tend to manifest a degree of hate towards their mother...

[faerie_moon_x]

I'm not overly violent and in general violence is not actually a symptom. I know people think it is due to the media. But, I do get really mad and rage, but this is a new thing that came on by trauma. I actually was always low key and mellow until the trauma happened.

Really all the news about violent people with mental illness is like maybe 1% of the MI population, but of course they make the news. You never hear the feel good story of someone with sz overcoming the odds to become CEO of a company, the way you hear about people without limbs or blind running a marathon or whatever. And it's sad because those stories are out there.

Violence is usually a sign of other issues. Being abusive comes from somewhere else. People without a dx can be abusive, too. But, I know that violence toward long term caretakers or violence from caretakers to their charges is common. I don't know what causes it but there is a probably a lot more coplexity to all of this than you're aware of. Also, I know that people with Alzheimers and dementia may become violent as their minds go farther away. I don't know much about it, though, or if that may be part of the puzzle for your uncle.

Originally Posted by MotherMan

I experience that presure in my forehead too! It used to be much more intense and I felt it permanently, but now is weaker and it comes only when I am concentrating on something. Now, I don`t know if you believe in such things, but I read that if one feels that presure in their forehead and see something like purple clouds with their eyes closed, it means that the third eye has opened. On the same matter, who feels that presure located on the tip of their head has a blocked chakra or something.

My uncle certainly must have a mild form of autism/Asperger`s, he has too many symptoms of that! Well, I suspect he is rather bipolar 2 or even 1 than schizophrenic, since I haven`t heard anything about him hallucinating yet, but do bipolar/Aspie people get THAT violent? And on their mother? I`ve read that generally people with sz tend to manifest a degree of hate towards their mother...

I haven't heard sz sufferers have a degree of hate towards their mothers. There was the idea of the schizophrenic mother , a causation of sz , and she tended to be domineering , manipulative and indirect. But that school of thought has long passed. This is when many professionals saw sz as a nurtured condition. Most now accept that there is a biomedical cause or at least predisposition to developing the illness.

Lookn at my own mother she is a very caring generous woman , but my schiz was a long time coming , i heard voices from nearly as young as i can remember and i had thought disorder from the same period. So it wasn't like when i was 26 i suddenly started hearing voices , i always heard them. And eventually i came to the conclusion i gradually degenerated. No point blaming my mother

[JoyDivision7680]

@faeriemoon I am so sorry, now I realise my text sounded like the one you usually get from the so-called normal people. What I meant was, I never heard about Aspies/bipolar being violent with other people, but only with themselves. That was my point. I would never judge a MI person only by some superficial facts, I have never done that. I understand perfectly their condition and the reasons behind their behaviour. You`ll always find me among the last to judge mental conditions (couldn`t be otherwise though, I`m part of this cathegory too). I am even planning to do something in the future to improve their living conditions, both in and out of hospital, and to reduce the stigma or even eradicate it.

@paullycol Well, I can`t 100% rely on my memory, but it was something about sz people becoming sick of hearing their mother`s voice during episodes/"bad" periods because that`s the voice they have been hearing since little babies, so during a psychotic episode one of the threatening voices can be their mother`s (there was also an example of a famous musician who ended up murdering his mother because her voice would tell him not to eat - he is still in a mental institution, 30 years later).

Nevertheless, I care about my uncle and I wish we could talk more often. I feel my conversations with him would be very pleasant as soon as we both get used to each other. I wanna help him regain his self-esteem and have a decent, nice life. He could get married too, I don`t see why not since he is a great person who would make a good friend and family man, and besides that he looks very young too.

[faerie_moon_x]

Oh, no worries, Motherman. I wasn't upset at you at all. But, you know, in this day and age you see something like a school shooting and the first post in the comments is "why wasn't this kid on anti-depressants?" I mean, the ignorance out there is enraging... Anyway, I didn't think you meant it insultingly or anything. We'll just call it a good educating thread for people who think that way.

My cousin who has sz was violent. He's in his 60s now but I guess as a young man he couldn't hold a job or anythign due to violent outbursts. Him and my Uncle used to do odd jobs, but he never held a job since I was born. (I'm much younger than him, he's my dad's 1st cousin.) But my whole life he's this calm, quiet guy. He's always been on meds since his 20s. Not sure what ones. He mostly has flat affect and doesn't talk much. But since my uncle died a couple of years ago my cousin has gone downhill. They were super close. My aunt is still alive but she's not well, either. She's in a wheel chair now and he's taking care of her. But now he's got some pressured speech and he's not the same. I think he's not doing well taking care of himself, but it's obvious he's really sad and in grief, too.

Anyway, my guess is there's a lot more to this story than you know. Your uncle may not share that (it might be a big family secret.) I'm guessing him being violent to his mom is something much, much deeper and hidden. Maybe they have always had a bad relationship. Maybe he's just a controling person... I don't know. But, maybe the best thing you can do is be a friend to him. Sometimes that's all we can do.

[JoyDivision7680]

I`m sorry to hear that about your cousin! I really wish him good luck, hopefully he`ll be feeling well soon!
Yeah, I hate it when people move on with a diagnosis without knowing anything about the person/condition...Not every agitated, rude kid needs pills - he might as well be a douche.

As a matter of fact, my uncle`s mother is trying to hide his condition from me, like last month when I called to wish him a happy birthday: she told me that Gabriel (my uncle`s name) is having a sore-ear and can`t come to the phone to talk. Fortunately, my mother didn`t hide that from me.
He has probably hit her, otherwise she wouldn`t have moments of extreme fear during some of his outbursts...The thing is, he and his brother were raised by their grandmother because their parents had to work and were out of town most of the time. Their grandma was a little arrogant and bigot, and she taught them like that too, and that really frustrated them.

He told my mother that, after his mom dies, he wishes to go to an asylum, but I couldn`t let him do that, at least not now. I`ve planned to take him with me, in my house, and take care of him. It`s hard though, I am not used to talking to MI peope, I might say something upsetting...

[faerie_moon_x]

Well, firstly you just need to know that MI people are just like everyone else. Showing the same respect to everyone regardless of their dx is all you need to know. Next, I would say to learn as much as you can about sz and MI. Being here on the forum is good. We are all real people and you can see from our posts and experiences we are all different.

It's normal especially in older generations to want to hide MI. It was seen as shameful. That's why stigma is do bad now, and a lot of the old ignorance persists.

[JoyDivision7680]

Yeah, I`m reading everyday articles and posts about MI. Soon I`m gonna borrow books from the library, because I`m running low on unknown information on the internet

It`s difficult because even simple words like "heck" or "crazy" might upset him...He admits his condition and if it`s necessary he`d say the words "I got/am ill", but hearing such things does him no good. And it`s not the only problem, like I said. If you`d touched his personal objects (in his case it`s about chess magazines and board) he will politely tell you that "you may go now".

[faerie_moon_x]

well, I think with him it's learning his own things and what upsets him. After all, everyone is different. Some may be more sensitive to certain things than others.