[antisocialbutterfly]

I haven't been diagnosed with anything yet, I've spoken to a doctor and will be getting therapy soon for diagnosis and all. Anyway, my doctor thinks my symptoms are something linked to anxiety, whereas I'm thinking more paranoia than anxiety, which I know can be linked/mixed up sometimes.

I always feel like people are out to get me, thinking they're going to hurt me, humiliate me or even kill me. I'm constantly stressed and scared of pretty much everything. Going out has become difficult and so has public transport (i recently ditched a job that required me to take a train to get there, since I don't drive yet.) I always feel like if someone looks at me funny, they know everything about me, as if they've stalked me, are with a group of people who knows things about me or can read my mind.

I can never go out properly anymore. I purposely ignored a text from someone inviting me to come over for a get together because I was so paranoid about everything that I felt like I wouldn't be able to concentrate there and they'd notice something off about me and ask me what's wrong, then I'd tell them and they'd just call me crazy.

I'm constantly having voices in the back of my head, carrying out my suspicions of others and thoughts about myself, but I'm not sure if I'm the one putting those voices there, I'll think something and then they'll carry out for the rest of the day even if I tell myself it's not true, some days they're there and sometimes they're not.

I can slowly feel myself slipping into something far worse and I'm scared to get diagnosed because I don't know how I'm going to cope at school, I feel like I'm not going to cope at all and it scares me. I just want to stay inside and shut myself out from everything and everyone until it gets better.

[newtus]

i think the therapy is important to work out if its anxiety or paranoia. you do seem to have some anxiety going on that looks like paranoia. im not a doctor but im just saying from personal experience. i have schizophrenia. but i think carrying out the therapy is important first. you need to let go and talk about whats going on in your head and ask the therapist.

most importantly they are there to help you sort out the issues going on with you. the psychiatrist in mostly probably only going to diagnose you. idk if they are going to talk to you like therapy will.

be open with the therapist.

[antisocialbutterfly]

i just hope i am. i feel like i'm going insane. i starting school again next week and i don't know how i'm going to cope at all. i'm scared i'm just going to drop out from too much stress and then get submitted into a mental hospital. i just don't want to go back to school, it looks like it's going to be too much for me. i have 2 more years and this year is when it starts getting a little more serious and i can't handle that.