feeling worse :(

i refuse to take the pills the doctors give me . i hate em i cant live , knowing tht im not normal like everyone else .

Well I hate to say this but if you want to be normal the meds are a pretty good option...I was seeing and hearing things but the meds stopped all that and in two years I stopped the meds...after a long taper I'm three months drug free...they say it will never happen again so you can get well.

No ones really normal. I doubt there's any such thing. A friend once told me, I was comparing what I felt one the inside to what everybody else portrayed on the outside. That made so much sense. Some people need to take medicine. No biggie. Whether it's for depression or cholesterol or schizophrenia. Or ADD or diabetes, it's just one part of your life. It's just a condition you deal with, it doesn't dictate WHO you are.

xoericaa, yeah, I don't think there are too many "completely normal" people out there. Many have issues that they don't express and are better at hiding them. But, it's also true that not everybody has schizo or another illness like it. Maybe it seems a little unfair and like you're being singled out but it's just a small part of who we are as individuals. You are not "abnormal." You are you--no judgments needed. I have to take meds. I've tried going without but my life is impossible without them. They help me cope. Hang in there...do what you can to manage yourself. There is nothing wrong or weak and such about taking psych meds--despite the stigma......D.

Don't let that lull you into a false sense of security, I would look at it more as remission.

You are such an optimist!

Look I know it could happen again and I'm making plans in case it does but I've got 2 pdocs that have given me a clean bill of health now and worrying about it too much only increases the odds that it will happen.

No, I'm a realist. I've seen first hand the path of destruction these disorders can create. I too thought I was cured once before, I was off medications for years. However, something changed, and before I knew what hit me things escalated out of control. I lost my wife, my job, I was charged with a few crimes, and hospitalized before I realized what was going on.

Don't let your guard down.

Damn I'm sorry I didn't realize you'd been through remission before...my current boss is the one who got me treated the first time---she happens to be an MD---gastroenterologist but still she had contacts to get me help right away---I always make sure everyone at work and all my friends know I've had a problem with psychosis mostly as protection in case it happens again but also to reduce stigma---I want a network of people who can help me if I can't help myself. So I'm not super worried about getting treated if I get sick again---I actually work in a hospital so I'm surrounded by docs all day so I'm more likely to get a psych consult than getting hauled in by the cops. I'm not saying it couldn't turn out poorly but if it happens again I already know what meds work for me---I was only out of work for 2 weeks for my first break (despite 1.5 months of psychosis) so unless the second round is worse I'm not likely to lose me my job. If it happens again I'll just stay on the meds forever---it was actually my doctor that wanted me off due to the latest research but I wanted to try too---anyway thanks for sharing your story---but I hope you'll understand that I still hope things will work out differently for me....