[MichikoUsagi]

Long story short I thought I had BPD. I'm not able to see a psychologist just yet(money). I first noticed things were wrong a few years ago. I was having the anger fits and never looked too much further into it.

I've been hearing things and seeing things since I was young that others don't hear and see. Lately it's been getting so out of control it feels like there are 20 people in my head, telling me what to do and how to act and if someone tells me something like "I care about you, you can talk with me" I just hear so many voices telling me that it's ******** and no one cares.

I end up with awful migraines to where the only thing that brings me back to earth is self harming. I often have mental blackouts where I don't remember anything. Later at night I'll hear awful screaming and I just want it all to stop.

I'm not sure what I have but I'm fairly sure BPD was not the correct thing to assume.

I'm currently in the works for getting some insurance and assistance so hopefully in the next few months I can see someone. Until then, any insight? Thank you.

[Gr3tta]

I am not very knowledgeable about bpd, but i do not think that psychosis symptoms such as hearing voices are not typically associated with it.
Because your symptoms are ( at least sometimes, if i understand ) associated with migrains, you might want to pursue the headache portion, at least while you wait for psych help, to rule out any possible physical ailment that could be causing or exasperating your symptoms. Just in case.
I am sorry you are suffering. I am glad you are seeking help. Hopefully you will get some answers and relief soon.
In the meantime, my otc migraine goto is dark, and wrap my head in ice. I also talk back to my voices. (As long as safe to do so.) I will tell them to be quiet, to speak respectfully, to come back later, etc. It can also help to drown them out with music, books on tape, or white noise like thunderstorms, static, jungle, waterfall, etc.

[MichikoUsagi]

Originally Posted by Gr3tta

I am not very knowledgeable about bpd, but i do not think that psychosis symptoms such as hearing voices are not typically associated with it.
Because your symptoms are ( at least sometimes, if i understand ) associated with migrains, you might want to pursue the headache portion, at least while you wait for psych help, to rule out any possible physical ailment that could be causing or exasperating your symptoms. Just in case.
I am sorry you are suffering. I am glad you are seeking help. Hopefully you will get some answers and relief soon.
In the meantime, my otc migraine goto is dark, and wrap my head in ice. I also talk back to my voices. (As long as safe to do so.) I will tell them to be quiet, to speak respectfully, to come back later, etc. It can also help to drown them out with music, books on tape, or white noise like thunderstorms, static, jungle, waterfall, etc.

Thank you very much for your response. The headaches are usually after I've heard constant screaming for an hour on end, tends to wear on me.

I'll definitely try the books on tape and music, maybe that can help. Again, thank you so much for your input! I really appreciate it.

MichikoUsagi

Originally Posted by Gr3tta

I am not very knowledgeable about bpd, but i do not think that psychosis symptoms such as hearing voices are not typically associated with it.

I don't know much about borderline personality disorder either, but I've been told that you can hear voices with it. Something to do with your thoughts dissociated...idk. I don't know how they determine whether it's bpd voices or psychosis voices though. You really need a decent psychiatrist you can trust to do that.

Otherwise I second everything Gr3tta said! I find loud music through headphones really helpful for loud voices. And when I suffer with migraines I try to go to sleep and usually wake up feeling much better.

All the best

*Willow*

[yellowlemonlime123]

do u get weird thoughts in your head? like someone is watching you and stuff? but it sounds like you know they are not real, which is good. it took me awhile but i had to make up reasons that will make me believe that the voice is not real.

[MichikoUsagi]

Originally Posted by yellowlemonlime123

do u get weird thoughts in your head? like someone is watching you and stuff? but it sounds like you know they are not real, which is good. it took me awhile but i had to make up reasons that will make me believe that the voice is not real.

It always feels like there's other people putting in their input to any thoughts I think. When I do something minor that wouldn't normally be a big deal, voices come and tell me that I'm worthless, stupid, and remind me of things I did.

During times where I can't remember what happened it's like I can watch it on replay, as if someone else was living it. Voices give almost like a 'commentary' on it.

If someone says "I care for you" there will be 20 voices in my head saying "No they don't, you're not important to them, you're a burden", etc. etc.

I have the knowledge that it's because I'm ill, but I can't stop trying to figure out which reality is real or not.

[Gr3tta]

Thanks for this post because I relate to it very strongly. I am sorry i dont have anything useful to say about it though.