Abilify

Well I told my nurse I stopped taking my medication and I expected her to start talking about hospital, but she said she has spoke to my Dr about me not being happy about taking the olanzapine and my nurse pulled out a script for abilify
I was over the moon - well I wasn't that happy, but I'm really glad I'm back on the abilify.

My nurse just called me though and said she has to call the police about me carrying a knife, because of public safety.

I swear for being a victim - I get the rough end of things.

I'm happy you were able to get back on Abilify. That sucks that the nurse has to call the police just because you were carrying a knife. Being from America it so bizarre to me.

thats really good kureha. but be careful with the knife. sometimes its not worth carrying around

Glad your going back on abilify. Hope the police won't do anything might just be a precaution

Yeah the UK sucks for things like that, no mace here either, only thing is a personal alarm, it would take a second for them to stab me, so I don't see what help that would be.

The police just said they would make a note of it, so I'm ok there.

However if something does happen, my nurse said I wouldn't go to prison, but to a secure psychiatric hospital, which is even worse.
I just don't want to die.

When you talk about 'stalkers' is that a metaphor , or some kind of allegorical creation that represents your illness. Or do you actually think that people are actually trying to do harm to you. Do you know what i mean? Do you accept that this is an illness and your charecterisation of your illness is just a coping mechanism?

Im glad they let you go back on abilify.
Keep the knife at home. Its not worth getting in trouble or going to hospital for. Be safe my friend

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No seriously, I'm being gang stalked.
My nurse thinks I'm sick, but I'm not.

My knife is my only chance of staying alive.
If something did happen, I could avoid hospital by going on the run.

I really don't get why everyone is against me
Even today people that don't look like them, gave me dirty looks.

Then my nurse tells the police everything about me, I didn't tell her all that stuff so she could tell other people, now they are all laughing at me, because they know I got the message from the stalkers and that it's working.

Hospital seems inevitable - I could be there a limitless time.

I don't understand why I deserve this.

Kureha

I don't think anyone deserves what you're going through

*Willow*

Thanks Willow

I'm going to get proof on Tuesday, camera - knife and phone, just in case I need to call my nurse.
I really hate talking to them, but all my YouTube videos are counting for nothing so far, so I'm going to do this for myself and all the TIs.

Obviously decoys are the problem

Thinking of you....
Big (((hug)))

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Thanks, I'm super stressed about it.

I don't know if pulling a knife on someone is just a police caution or if that's going to be hospital.
Personally I see it as self defence, there is no reason someone should be coming towards me.

Been getting microwave attacked and that has happened since around December, took a diazepam to take the edge off my anxiety it's helped a bit.

Have you ever considered learning some type of martial art so you wouldn't have to carry the knife which I'm not sure if that's legal (the knife)where you are but if you learn self defense it's usually not aimed to hurt the other person so much as get away from them that way there is little risk of harming someone or getting hurt yourself if someone gets the knife away from you. Plus you would always have a skill like that with you so you could feel confident.

Oh that should be hasn't happened since December.

The thing with martial arts is that it takes years to get good enough, I dont even think I have years left.

The police know I carry a knife, they are just waiting for something to happen, they are involved, so they know a lot about what is going on.

I am worried about you carrying a knife Kureha. From your POV you just want to protect yourself. From the POV of the Police and MH professionals, you are carrying a knife which can hurt other people. If somebody did harass you and you used your knife, they would deny stalking you (and you don't have proof otherwise) and the authorities would want to lock you up in a hospital because you are a danger to others: no matter how justified you think your actions are, you will not convince them otherwise. No one here wants that to happen, and you don't want that to happen either. Nor do we want you to be injured or killed, because the truth is that people are more likely to be hurt by their own knife than saved by it. I just wish there was a way that you could feel safe outside without carrying a lethal weapon

*Willow*

Well again I'm not familiar with the laws there but here you can get a taser or pepper spray as an alternative...

Tasers are not allowed in the UK. Idk about pepper spray though...

*Willow*

i heard wasp spray is better than pepper spray cuz u don't have to be so close to the person and they have to go to the hospital if they get it in their eyes

snopes.com: Wasp Spray

According to this while probably effective it's also more likely to be illegal to use wasp spray on another human intentionally....

Also I took a self defense class in college that was only about 2 hours long and it was enough that I could probably get away from most people especially guys but there were things you could do if people grabbed you from behind or if they came at you from the front. The stuff doesn't take much strength but it has the possibility of serious damage. I can't remember all of it but years later I still have some of the key techniques. Maybe you could look for some sort of woman's self defense class?

Self defense classes - I don't know if that would work, but I could check for local classes.

Decided to go out tomorrow though, so I'll need my knife for then, so this might be the last time I'm on here.

Willow - I just think it's all screwed in the UK

be safe KUREHA

Thanks Junk.

Well no one approached me, so I didn't need to use my knife.

I saw 2 stalkers , but they had dogs and I didn't want to get attacked by them, so I didn't talk to them.

They do this to me all the time, every time I'm prepared, they just mock me.

Today has just messed with my head, feel like just taking 1 of them out.

Then there was a sign with the police, so there is something about them.