[hefollowedahoneybee]

hello.

i went to my psychiatrist today and he diagnosed me officially with schizophrenia. it was a diagnosis he'd been considering recently but today he finally settled on it. i don't think i have it because i believe what i am experiencing is real.
i expected to feel relief or be scared. but instead i feel absolutely nothing whatsoever. the only thing in life i am passionate about is this stupid tv show i watch. it's honestly the only thing keeping me going right now. i'm meeting two of the actors in october and if it wasn't for that i don't know where i'd be. it's so pathetic. i should care about my family and friends but instead all i care about are these fictional characters in a fictional world and the actors who play them. the only time i feel anything is while watching that show. otherwise i'm completely apathetic.
like i said before. i'm pathetic.

[justmeandmyhead]

I don't think thats pathetic, when we feel bad we cling to something that makes us feel good and if that's what keeps you going that's fine. I was like that with a tv program for a period of time and it kept me going and gave me something to think about. Sorry about your diagnosis maybe in time you can come to terms with it

[hefollowedahoneybee]

thanks for not calling my life pathetic - most people tend to agree with me when i say it. i don't know why i'm so obsessed with this stupid show. it's very clever. but it doesn't really require my being obsessed with it. i should be doing other things with my time. instead all i do is watch it, think about it, write about it, blog about it...that's literally all i do.

i'm hoping that some day i can come to terms with my diagnosis. right now i'm avoiding dealing with it by watching the show. for some reason the voices, paranoia (beyond the scariness the show inspires because it can be hella scary) and "delusions" don't bother me as much when i watch it. it's so weird.

[smart2222]

Your post pretty much describes what I've been going through for several years. I have no diagnosis of an MI as of yet, but I can relate regardless.

[hefollowedahoneybee]

Originally Posted by smart2222

Your post pretty much describes what I've been going through for several years. I have no diagnosis of an MI as of yet, but I can relate regardless.

how so? sorry, i have a really hard time processing written information...

Originally Posted by hefollowedahoneybee

how so? sorry, i have a really hard time processing written information...

All I would say is take your time. I eventually found solace in reading copiously on the subject. And seperating out what was actually causing me to become psychotic. So I looked at the illness , and eventually realised that both physical symthoms and cognitive problems , essentially are the cause of delusions. Get these sympthoms under control and the illness can become tolerable , infact very tolerable. The only thing I honestly can say that helped me , other than the above, was meds.

[Sometimes psychotic]

Anhedonia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Have you heard of anhedonia....inability to feel pleasure often pleasure from social interaction...it's one of the symptoms of sz...

[marmaduke]

If a TV program keeps you going that's good and not pathetic at all.
I've been like that too. Not now but many years ago.