[Terabithia]

I've noticed in many posts that people think others are judging them. I guess this is a commonality for people with this illness. I feel this all time.

My diagnosis is schizoaffective disorder, but I think I fit in better with this group than with the bipolar group (there are few posts on the schizoaffective forum).

It's easy for me to believe that if someone doesn't respond to a thread I've started, then there's something wrong with me, or if the thread stops with me, then people don't like me and don't want me on the forum. Am I Ok? That is my constant question.

[Sometimes psychotic]

Sometimes I don't have much to say and just offer a hug or thanks....while I do form an opinion about what people are like irl I'm not exactly judging in the way I think you are worried about...

[Terabithia]

that's good to hear, especially since you post a lot.

This fear that I'm living with every day has changed the way I view my world and is just making it hard for me to respond to people in a non self-centered way, with everybody watching me and judging me, and my complete fear of rejection. Does anybody relate to that. I guess, actually, that's universal for anyone who is going through a difficult time in life, to find it hard to fully be there for others

But I'm trying to show myself some compassion and remind myself of the little considerate things I do, and that despite it all, I can step outside of my own head throughout the day to see what others' need, even though often I don't know how to respond to it. It's good when I can tell my own self that I am being too hard on myself (that may actually be a first!)

[Loial]

Originally Posted by Terabithia

This fear that I'm living with every day has changed the way I view my world and is just making it hard for me to respond to people in a non self-centered way, with everybody watching me and judging me, and my complete fear of rejection. Does anybody relate to that. I guess, actually, that's universal for anyone who is going through a difficult time in life, to find it hard to fully be there for others

I feel the same.

I find myself thinking I know what others are thinking about me or always assuming the worst. Quite common cognitive thinking errors. I also think ones opinion of themselves can reflect on this... if you aren't happy with some aspect of yourself, you assume other people notice or are reacting to it.

Then on top of that it doesn't help about the paranoia & delusions of persecution that often crop up to explain all of it in my case.

[Terabithia]

yup and yup

lately I've been getting on my own nerves, so I wonder how I could possibly not be getting on other peoples' nerves. Can people only see what you see in yourself? If you feel unlovable is it more difficult for others to find you lovable? It makes me wonder if the negative judgments might be real. Also, I fear that the insecurity in itself can push people away.