Roll Call 36

i havent heard any voices in awhile and havent had too much paranoia. been focusing on myy weight loss. lost a couple of pounds. not much. almost to the 130s. i will be excited if i get there. i will let you guys know when i do.

Glad to hear that you're doing alright newtus! Good luck on the weight loss!

That's awesome.....

Told Siri to show me her tities. No luck there...

good morning pc'ers!

I couldn't take the Concerta every day cuz I was losing too much weight so I just decided to waste it in one day and plan on switching to a different stimulant like amphetamine.

Idk feel depressed and tired I hate working

More rustic. They have a little store there, but they give you a bucket and you go pick. It's fun.

Good morning everyone.

HI Sunshine how are you?

Morning/Afternoon guys!

Old man is here!

I'm doing well this morning, how are u?

I've gotta fax some paperwork and make phone calls today. Other than that just stay home. Soon I'm gonna be starting an art group, I need to not isolate so much...

Art group sounds like fun... what sort of art will you be doing?

All kinds. It's with real art supplies. Last time we had a canvas and I painted a peace sign in black with all kinds on colors in the background, lol. The one that runs the group was like nothing is wrong or silly in art. But we do really cool things. I've just gotta make it there...

Starting an art group sounds fun and ambitious but it seems like you have enough experience of them

so i saw the therapist this morning. she has the same first name as me. lol. yea

she was alright. it got awkward talking about my hallucinations and delusions. that was all she kinda wanted to know about today. i paused for a long time when she asked about my delusions. she was like "so what are you paranoid about?" and i paused for a long time. and then i was like "i feel dizzy". and i really did feel dizzy. i started to feel real sick to my stomach. i got real nervous. i was about to say i didnt want to talk about it.

then she said this appt was only 30 min long because my last therapist put that into place. after mentioning it twice today she said after a few sessions of getting to know her she might change it to hour sessions. i hope. i really hope cuz 30 min is literally JUST NOT LONG ENOUGH. i had SO MUCH to talk about still. and her being new to me i was very nervous and im usually quiet and i CANT spit out that much crap in so little time. ugh. kinda pisses me off.

I don't feel all artistic unless I'm manic. In the hospital they sucked, they try just so much funding has been cut.

I'm hoping it will be with getting up for, lol.

Well I hope she makes it an hour. Remember though that u do have to eventually talk about your hallucinations and delusions. But you've also have to trust her too.

My kindle is messing up again, hope u could decipher that last message, lol.

yea i opened up quite a bit today for today being only the first day and only 30 min long. so i think ill be able to trust her fairly fast. we talked about my old therapist and how i missed her. i asked if she was coming back and she said no. i almost cried forreal but i managed to hold it back.

Well that's good. It takes me a good while to open up. And I do it fairly slowly. Too many unqualified therapists. They are usually greys outta grad school or burnt out. The fresh outta grad school sounds good, but they just stay at the state funded agencies until the are able to open their own practice or they move onto a better agency.

I wish you all the luck though.

it takes me awhile to open up too but i felt slightly pushed today.

i didnt look her in the eye at all today. itll take me months to look her in the eye. it took me a year to look my old therapist in the eye. the nature of this illness

Hoping you're feeling better about your new T now newtus.