[Secretum]

For the past two weeks, I've had intense mood swings, including euphoria, depression, anxiety, irritability, and rage. I've been suicidal on and off since then. It was most intense on Saturday, but today hasn't been easy. And then the "hallucinations"...in recent times, I've been having strange perceptions multiple times a day, many of which logic tells me are hallucinations. I've seen a rather steep increase. Over the past week, I began having cognitive issues. It started out innocently enough, I couldn't find the word I was thinking of. This happened multiple times a day. I complained about it to my pdoc when I saw him on Saturday, and he told me that it was probably mood related. Tuesday, I went back to class. I couldn't understand what people were saying when more than one person was talking. It sounded jumbled, or if I could make it out, it made no sense. I gave up on trying to figure it out pretty quickly. I lost my ability to focus on lecture material, and I've pretty much sat in my chair like a vegetable the entire week, pretending to listen to the lecture but not comprehending any of it. I have an exam in a little over a week, and I'm scared. Also, people look at me strange. Like they think I'm crazy. I add to a conversation I overheard, and it abruptly stops, and I think that maybe they were talking about something else...

Does anyone know what this might be? Especially the cognitive issues? It is really distressing me. I can't complete my program if I can't think. I think the issue is mostly due to poor attention. I understand my own thoughts perfectly, it is just other people that confuse me.

Is this related to psychosis? Last time I really lost touch with reality, I had some issues with confusion and not knowing what building I was in and stuff, in the beginning, but it wasn't nearly as bad as this.

Does this sound like something physical? Could I have a mineral deficiency, or a brain tumor?

I'm really freaking out. Thanks.

[SmileHere]

hmm, I don't know about your meds, but maybe it could be med-related? Was there a change in meds before this started? Or any other significant change in life?

I googled 'lamictal side effects hallucinations', same for Saphris and apparently hallucinations can be a side effect? Maybe you can google/look for the other symptoms too?

You could ask about your concerns to (another) doctor? Or possibly have a change of meds?

[Sometimes psychotic]

It does sound psychosis related I had cognitive issues at my peak psychosis---I'm guessing that reducing and then switching meds intensified your psychosis----why not record the lectures so you can study them in more detail later.

[Secretum]

Thanks for the responses everyone...I did recently make a med change (from zyprexa to saphris, plus going off prozac entirely) so that may be it. Though I started having problems before the med change but they've gotten worse.

I think I'm in a mixed state. Manic and depressed at the same time. I finally got ahold of my pdoc yesterday; he told me to double the saphris. He also wanted to add in another antidepressant but I told him no way. Would have just destabilized me more, given how my mood has been. Sometimes I wonder if he knows what he is doing. :roll eyes:

I do feel a little better on the higher dose of saphris, but that might be because I'm too drugged to feel any emotions. I'm staying home from school today; I only had one class, and I decided to skip it because a). I won't be able to focus on it anyway (and I may be able to get some studying done here at home), b). yesterday I was thinking of jumping off the parking garage at school (it's 6 stories up) and I really don't need that kind of temptation, and c). I need a break. I'm trying to have compassion on myself, but it is hard. I really feel like I should go to class. This is such a change from college, where I skipped all the time, haha. Probably a good thing that I'm developing a stronger work ethic. I decided that if the sui thoughts come back I'll go to the ER. I found out yesterday that we have a psych ER close to my house. So if I can't handle it today, I'll go.

[Secretum]

I called the psych ER people. Going in for an assessment. I'm scared out of my mind. At least the assessment is free; much better than going to the ER.

[neil w]

good luck secretum!

[Sometimes psychotic]

Wow it sounds like things are pretty rough right now----I hope the assessment goes well. Keep us updated.

[junkDNA]

thinking of u

[Angelique67]

I hope it all goes well, Secretum!

[Secretum]

Just got done with the assessment; they're admitting me. I told my mom and she is really freaked out. I hope she can forgive me for this.

[Angelique67]

I hope it will help a lot. Don't worry about anything else.

[Secretum]

I just got out! I feel much better. I think I'm on a therapeutic dose of Saphris. Still having some symptoms, but they're manageable. I'm going to try to go back to school, but if that is too stressful I'm going to take some time off and do a PHP program.

[Atypical_Disaster]

Originally Posted by Secretum

I just got out! I feel much better. I think I'm on a therapeutic dose of Saphris. Still having some symptoms, but they're manageable. I'm going to try to go back to school, but if that is too stressful I'm going to take some time off and do a PHP program.

Welcome back!

[KUREHA]

Glad you're feeling better

[Sometimes psychotic]

Originally Posted by Secretum

I just got out! I feel much better..

Yay!

[Loial]

Originally Posted by Secretum

I just got out! I feel much better. I think I'm on a therapeutic dose of Saphris. Still having some symptoms, but they're manageable. I'm going to try to go back to school, but if that is too stressful I'm going to take some time off and do a PHP program.

That's great news!

Good idea to have a back up plan for if you aren't up to going back to school. Always helps to have some goals.

Glad you're out and feeling better Secretum. I hope school goes ok, but you may need some time before you feel back in the swing of things, so go easy on yourself

*Willow*