Roll Call 42

my dad said he could tell i didnt take my meds today

i open the car while it was still driving. it was going sslow but i didnt even know we were still driving. i thought we had stopped.
and then he said i was talking funny and fast

I think it may be the lack of sleep----it's almost like you're manic or something----

lack of sleep does funny things to me.

Just for you Sometimes <3

i actually took and ambien i was given last night and um i woke up at 3am anyway.

omg you dont love me too?!

of course you have my love newtus, theres plenty to go around!

I thought you were out of ambien I was actually going to suggest talking to the pdoc about it.

In my first break nothing could get me to sleep either one of the reasons they think I might be bipolar...anyway I wonder because you mentioned sza once----they might be able to give you a mood stabilizer that would fix this kind of thing better than an AP---ie something with fewer side effects that you might actually be able to tolerate.

This post sounds like mania. The high energy, not sleeping, talking fast and "funny" that you mentioned in another post, and grandiose delusions... yeah, sounds a lot like mania.

Agreed.

Awesome I love it! It's like having my art on display at the Louvre

That pic is from the zoo in Toledo Ohio they recently added them to the reptile house just for fun

im having like an awesome week

Im a big fan of Rollcall but not sure its comparable to the Louvre lol. It might be considered a museum, or maybe a zoo

T wont text me about the appointment i scheduled on tuesday. i just wanna know if it is ok or not. he uses an online scheduling site and i always check with him to make sure the one i picked will work or not. he confirmed the one for saturday. its probably nothing serious but its making me really anxious and im assuming all kinds of bad things like maybe he is terminating with me. like i am really anxious.

Maybe he just can't respond to your text right this minute----he is probably working right?

Sleep is the first thing I worry about when psychosis is starting to happen - I don't sleep enough or regularly - I start staying up all night or sleeping all day, or sleeping only a few hours at a time.

I think if you have an exercise routine you have something scheduled, something regular to expect, something you do for your own health and benefit rather than anyone else's, and often something that takes you outside every day. It's also supposed to increase energy rather than deplete it.

he prob is working but i texted him 2x about it yesterday and no response. i texted him when i got off work and he responded then i texted abt the tuesday appointment and he hasnt responded since. so im like assuming all these things and working myself up. but i hope its prob nothing like im thinking it is.but i want to be prepared in case it is. so i cant stop worrying about it

Agreed it sounds like mania. I can't remember because it was long ago before I took a break from forum, but Newtus you said something before that was a red flag to me about symptoms sounding more bipolar.

Also lack of sleep or too much bad sleep actually increases my mania. I'd rather be depressed. Mania makes me feel like I'm going insane and I'm so volatile, and it makes me feel physically bad. but I have the dysphoric mania and mixed mania, not euphoric.

sooooo i was major overreacting....

t texted me...

T: mmmm chilli
T: chill
me: thats hard
T: I haven't looked at my schedule for next week yet
me: ok...im sorry...im crazy....forgive me
T: we're all a little bit.... craaaaaazy!!!! -seal
me: hmmmm some more than others
me: PS fucc seal
T: How dare you!
me:
T: After all he's done for you!!! For all of us!!!
me: omg now you need to chill
T: mmmm seal chili mmmm

I feel silly now. but i am relieved. and T is a huge dork

I have all these pills. Chropromazine, zolpidem and kemadrin........................................

I should have enough by the first week in Jan, don't want to ruin anyones holidays!

what does this mean? it sounds concerning

No need for concern, I'm in the right place in my mind and I know what I have to do so many failures I know who I am, what I am, and this is me,

hmmm... maybe u should talk to ur dad about this. or call ur pdoc. or both.

you dont sound very well right now

Ah it'd be soon not an impulsive thing, waiting for right moment

yea im out of ambien. except for a few that i got from someone recently.

i