[xMattPerkins]

First off hello everyone my name is Matt as you can clearly tell.

I honestly don't know if I have psychosis or what. I've looked up different mental disorders and taken different tests and none are exact but I do fit into a lot of categories and the closest one I came to one Psychosis.

People tell me I lack compassion toward others. I am one who will speak my honest opinion and don't care how it affects others. To me don't ask the question if you can handle a straight forward answer.

Secondly I have issues with people who hide parts of themselves whether it be a real life lie or even not using their real name online, to me it's being a coward in hiding.

I also have these issues where I remember something almost like it's a tv show in my head but no sound and my mind instantly tries to figure it out. When I can't figure out where the "show" in my head comes from I lose control of myself and get frustrated and mad and at times just black out.

Another issue I have is if I'm doing something and someone interrupts me, I can get mad when in normal states nothing gets to me.

I don't have fears that most have. I don't avoid confrontation no matter if it's in person or online. I have had it out with family and even when I was younger my mom and dad wouldn't argue with me one on one, instead they always ganged up on me. I enjoy hurting people emotionally who purposely try and hurt me and fail at it. Kind of like if you're gonna start crap, you better make sure you're strong enough to have what you said thrown back in your face.

However I am not paranoid, I don't lie, I don't get stressed, I am highly talkative and social, and I'm always myself. My relationships always last as long as both people are working together equally. My mistakes are getting into relationships where someone wants to do as they please but want me to be there when they need me. And I'm not one who can be controlled so once the person realizes they can't change me or control me, they're done with me. But put me in an equal relationship and you will see why a lot of people call me the perfect guy. I love buying for my girl, give her countless attention and always wanting to do things together even if I don't really like it. Matter of fact I get depressed only when I don't have someone to talk to.

So with all this mentioned I don't know what I truly have. I don't know if it's Psychosis, Narcissist, being a sociopath or being a psychopath. I know I'm not skitzo, and I know I'm not bipolar because my mood in general is very controlled. I don't really have mood swings instead my personality and mood adjust to the situation unless I'm doing something and someone interrupts me.

One more thing I do have issues with control and expecting everyone to think like me. I have to be in control of my situation at all times and I am always determined people believe like I do. I also enjoy arguing just to argue.

So if anyone can piece all this together and tell me a true diagnosis it would be appreciated. Final thing I've never used anyone not rape, not pretending to be a friend to get my way or any of that. I'm an open book and all I look for is people to talk to.

[CANDC]

Welcome to Psych Central (PC). Sorry to hear you are feeling an undefined problem. A psychiatrist could adequately diagnose your situation and try medicines that could decrease your symptoms.

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[sideblinded]

Hi Matt

I am sorry that your issues seem so undefined and are quite confusing. I would say to get a professional to help you with these concerns and keep reaching out here. Others will want to offer their ideas. Welcome to PC. It is great to have you become part of the community. Browse the numerous forums and post again where you feel comfortable. Best wishes here at PC.

[healingme4me]

I get riled by interruption. It's a stress trigger. Your brief description of family matters lends me to want to point you in the direction of Adult Child of Dysfunction. Which, serious aversion to lies, etc is symptomatic. Sometimes, crazy making behavior surrounding a person can lead one to question all possible DSM categories, due to being enraged internally.

As I'm certain you might have read about the fact no one here can diagnose, peer to peer forum.

Welcome to PC!

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[Sometimes psychotic]

When you have the TV show in your head what kinds of things happen....what does it look like and how long does it last?