[Beautiful_Pain]

I don't know...I know this can't be the only thing, because I've had auditory and visual hallucinations for 20 years (since I was 11, am 31 at present). But I've noticed something recently. I'm not sure that I'm not misinterpreting, or possibly exaggerating what's going on. But, I'll tell you what goes on, and this is how I perceive it.

Those who know some of my history know there is a man, made of shadow that has been bothering me for a number of years now...more active since we moved to our present house. He doesn't speak, but is large and his essence is very dark. He is so dark that he shows up black in the dark of night with no lights. He menaces me, I'm very afraid of him, I know that he can/means to do harm. I've tried ignoring him, turning attenion to books/tv/music, closing my eyes, covering completely with a blanket etc, but it doesn't help. If he shows up, he wants to be seen and he will be...if ignored he persists and will sometimes bring 'others' in until I am surrounded. I once tried to ignore them, after he had brought in others, but they got my attention by crawling around on my bed. I was covered with a blanket completely, but I could feel them, their weight moving the mattress...like when someone sits on the end of the bed and the bed moves. Like that, but they were slowly crawling up toward my head. I felt them, phsyically. (Sorry, went off on a slight tangent there...) Anyway. When I'm at the computer, many times he will lurk in the open doorway (there is no door, just the archway) to the kitchen. He, most times, doesn't move closer, just stands there for hours. Menacing, large, dark, silent and still. My husband can usually make him go away, for a day or week, I don't know what he does. But that is also slightly off the point. Some of you may remember that a kitty came and adopted us on Halloween Eve, who we named Boo. He's an all black kitty, loves to sit on you (quite claustrophobic though, can't stand to be held or under a blanket), is very persistent. He and my other cat, Sister, like most animals, can tell when there is something wrong with me. Like last night, He (the man) appeared in the bedroom where I was, alone, I went out and the cats got up and with one ahead and one behind me, I came out to the computer room, where my husband was. They sat at my feed and twined around my legs, mewing softly, (something neither one do normally) then just sat and looked at me, again, occasionally mewing softly. Sister left after about 10 minutes, but Boo stayed. He didn't try to jump in my lap, like normal, just sat and looked at me. There is a chair, just to the right of the computer chair, that Boo always sits on when I'm on the computer. He'll lay there and catnap or watch me.

Ok, on to the actual point...

I've noticed this several times, that when the man comees to the doorway, even if I don't turn around and look at him...Boo knows he's there. Boo will turn and sit looking at the doorway, without moving, just occasionally will look back at me. The man will sometimes go away, or fade a bit, when Boo does this.

It seems Boo can see him too.
Boo can make him go away.
My husband can sometimes make him go away.
The man hasn't been as bad since Boo came. (coming less frequently)

I guess it all comes down to:

Can the man of shadows be a visual hallucination, if Boo can see him? How can he be, if Boo can sometimes make him go away? If my husband can sometimes make him go away? Is it possible he isn't a hallucination, but something else...spiritual of some kind? I know not everyone believes in spirits/ghosts and that, but I've had earlier experience with one actually touching me. (I was 15 and received 3 scratchmarks from one).

I don't know...not sure what to think. It could be that he isn't a hallucination...but then again, he isn't new. Its not like he suddenly started appearing just at this house, but I don't think spirits/ghosts (whatever) single people out to follow around (?), they are usually associated with a place.

He scares me, maybe I want him to not be a hallucination. I don't know what I would do about him if he isn't. Maybe in my twisted 'logic' I would feel better if he weren't a hallucination. Not that that solves anything, as I said before, he isn't the only one...I'm not even sure why this is so important to me.

I don't know what I expect anyone to say, if anything.

[Beautiful_Pain]

I just know that this is one place I feel safe enough to even bring this up, in this detail.

[spiritual_emergency]

A few years ago I met a fellow at a party and he told me a story about a house he'd lived in as a young man. The man felt the house was haunted and he'd had a number of unpleasant experiences there. I wasn't there, I didn't see the things he'd seen, and I had no similar experiences to draw from but one thing that was abundantly clear to me was that something had happened in that home/that time of his life and whatever that something was, it had frightened the man quite deeply.

Are there such things as ghosts? I don't know. If there is and you saw one, then I guess that wouldn't count as a visual hallucination at all. If that's the case then perhaps you would be better off to seek a different kind of assistance. Assuming however that you didn't see a ghost, that maybe what you saw was something else, I'll share the following with you and you can decide if it fits...

... there is a man, made of shadow that has been bothering me for a number of years now...more active since we moved to our present house. He doesn't speak, but is large and his essence is very dark. He is so dark that he shows up black in the dark of night with no lights. He menaces me, I'm very afraid of him, I know that he can/means to do harm.

That passage reminds me very much of this one...<blockquote>In many instances, a woman will choose to project her own inner masculine outward. She will live her life half-full; her animus will slumber within her. For awhile. Then, she will often see him awaken with anger for being denied.

When ignored and left unexpressed, the animus will become negative, the shadow animus, the demon. You will hear his voice in her tone of bitterness, the scathing sarcasm, her criticism of men, or her edgy controlling anger.

This woman may suffer a deep depression or dream of a dark controlling lover, a "Hit Man", a vampire, a haunted lover who drains her of her energy and life. She feels he is "evil" and will harm her. When a woman represses the energy of her animus, he does become threatening. His energy turns destructive. When creativity is repressed, it turns against itself.

Source: A Witch's Book of Dreams</blockquote>
I came across that passage several years ago because I was having nightmares about a male figure and was looking for some answers for myself. I would later discover that figure represented some frightening things to me that I had pushed away from consciousness. In a way, he was a helpful figure because he represented the fear I wasn't in touch with and therefore, hadn't healed from -- although you would have had a lot of trouble convincing me his intent was helpful at that time.

Before I go any further it would probably be helpful to review what the animus is...<blockquote>Animus: The inner masculine side of a woman. (See also anima, Eros, Logos and soul-image.)

Like the anima in a man, the animus is both a personal complex and an archetypal image.

Jung described four stages of animus development in a woman. He first appears in dreams and fantasy as the embodiment of physical power, an athlete, muscle man or thug. In the second stage, the animus provides her with initiative and the capacity for planned action. He is behind a woman's desire for independence and a career of her own. In the next [third] stage, the animus is the "word," often personified in dreams as a professor or clergyman. In the fourth stage, the animus is the incarnation of spiritual meaning. On this highest level, like the anima as Sophia, the animus mediates between a woman's conscious mind and the unconscious. In mythology this aspect of the animus appears as Hermes, messenger of the gods; in dreams he is a helpful guide.

Source: The Jung Lexicon</blockquote>
Anyway, perhaps you would find it helpful to approach this figure as if he is a dream figure that has somehow leaked into your ordinary day-to-day consciousness. Assuming that this figure is a representation of your animus, the goal is to create a positive relationship with "him". Do be assured that the animus changes from a frightening and intimidating figure in the process to one that you'd actually want to have a positive relationship with.

If you are in an area that has Jungian trained therapists you may find it beneficial to meet with one, if only for a short while to explore the meaning of this figure in your life. There is also plenty on the net about Jungian psychology as well as a wealth of books on the subject. You may enjoy Marion Woodman's The Ravaged Bridegroom as well as Clarissa Pinkola Estes book, Women Who Run With the Wolves.

I don't know if that will "fit" for you or not, but it does at least give you another perspective to consider.

[Sarah116]

Mine fight a lot and sometimes make each other go away (One just yelled at me for typing that they say that's untrue)I think sometimes they can make each other go away. Fleur and Merlin are in charge they always seem to be the ones at the top. Hannah died sadly but she still visits with me from Heaven (my old psychiatrist killed he he's a jerk but I still forgive him even know it is hard). Emily and Kelsey visit with me a lot when I was at my old school. When I was little they just appeared as imaginary friends something I would grow out of to other people. In 7th grade the ebola monsters started coming after watching the ebola virus video in science class. I also have a shrink friend he is always commenting on my behavior and taking notes and trying to mess with my thoughts. I can'think of them all right now.

[spiritual_emergency]

Sarah116: Mine fight a lot and sometimes make each other go away (One just yelled at me for typing that they say that's untrue)I think sometimes they can make each other go away.

Are you referring to voices Sarah, or like Beautiful Pain do you actually see these people/characters/parts of yourself (however you define them to be)?

Fleur and Merlin are in charge they always seem to be the ones at the top. Hannah died sadly but she still visits with me from Heaven (my old psychiatrist killed he he's a jerk but I still forgive him even know it is hard). Emily and Kelsey visit with me a lot when I was at my old school.

Fleur, Merlin, Hannah, Emily, Kelsey, and the shrink friend. Gee, they all have pretty names... except for that shrink friend. And the ebola monsters. I can't imagine anything pretty about that.

When I was little they just appeared as imaginary friends something I would grow out of to other people.

The "characters" in my own experience were all based on real life people -- I don't know if that's the same as your experience or different from it. Initially, I thought of each of them as something separate from me. After a while though I began to understand the role of projection.

Probably the most significant projection took place between two male characters. Within Jungian terms both of them represented my animus, but it was as if my animus had split into two parts -- one character reflected back everything that was "good" about me, the other represented every fear or terror I had ever held -- the shadow animus, the demon. As you might expect, I liked the first one very much and I didn't like the other even one little bit!!!

It's helpful to emphasize that each of those characters were based on real life people and events. For example, I had had a very good male friend whom I cared about very much and whom I could tell anything to without shame. I had also encountered a male who had frightened me very much.

In this respect, my experience is very much like PTSD wherein an individual will be triggered by some common element between the present and the past. The man who frightened me triggered an unconscious memory of my birth father; the man I felt comfortable and safe with reminded me of the comfort and safety of other men I had known, including my very real life friend whom I had lost. Naturally, I hadn't figured any of that out when I entered that space -- I was just terribly frightened and in a whole lot of pain. By the time I exited that space however I understood why one man had represented so much that was "good" to me (and therefore, had been a significant loss) to me, while the other represented so much that was "bad" (which helped me understand why I had been so "irrationally" frightened of him).

There were no other human beings in this room with me when I went through that experience. It was just me and my projections -- each one a part of me, represented by a character that just so happened to fit rather neatly upon this model...<blockquote>The Hero: The role of the hero was of necessity, played by me.

The Mentor: Gallagher

The Threshold Guardian: "god"

The Herald: This was the "character" I didn't like.

Shapeshifter: Limh

Shadow: Skadi -- the name itself means "shadow". I didn't know that when I chose that name to represent that "person/character".

Trickster: Perhaps this was the experience itself which showed me that what I had believed to be true was not necessarily true at all.

Source: Archetypes on the Path</blockquote>
Understanding the role of projection in my experience was one of the most significant lessons of entering that space: As above, so below.

Anyway... I don't know if you could map out your "characters/voices" in the same manner but I share the exercise just in case it's useful to you (or perhaps others).

[Sarah116]

Oh thanks, Yea maybe that is, uhmmm The Ebola monsters came from a Science video
The shrink friend came from my two psychiatrists Dr. Boswell and Dr. hromnak Kelsey and a lot of them from kids I met Hannah from my well loved psychologist and a friend in health class. They were really bothering me in Phys Ed today . Thats all I can think of now I am not so sure i should put my shrinks names in because people could track me down but I guess it is safe. Oh and Fleur from one of my old friends.

[spiritual_emergency]

Sarah116: Oh thanks, Yea maybe that is...

You'll have to decide for yourself. I found it very beneficial to explore the meaning inherent in my experience -- not everyone does, but those who do seem to find a lot that resonates for them within the work of the Jungians.

The shrink friend came from my two psychiatrists ... I am not so sure i should put my shrinks names in because people could track me down but I guess it is safe.

You could always refer to them by their initials. That would be even safer and since most people don't/won't know who they are anyway, initials would suffice for identifying who they are to you. If it's too late for you to modify your post I'm sure a mod would be willing to help you out. I've seen lots of mods in my time but I do have to say I'm impressed with the group here -- they're stand back and let people say their piece but do seem available to jump in to help someone out if necessary.

Anyway, it was interesting to hear that you also pulled "names" from the environment around you.

Enjoy your day, Sarah.

[spiritual_emergency]

Oh... just as a late observation...

Fleur, Merlin, Hannah, Emily, Kelsey, and the shrink friend. Gee, they all have pretty names...

"If" those "voices" are projected parts of you then if that's what you're projecting out it must be what you have within you....... pretty. Of course there's those ebola creatures to deal with too, but maybe they just represent the places where you're scared of things. Everyone has things they're scared of.

[Sarah116]

Oh I know I could Ijust put their full names in case anyone has heard of them or something. Anyway no one knows my full name so I'm safe.

[spiritual_emergency]

Just a thought...

Hannah died ...

I can't help but feel that was something very sad, indeed. This is what I'm hearing: it is a multi-levelled song, which is to say that there are many conversations within the one that is apparent:

<blockquote>What is Schizophrenia?

A good question, with no simple, short, or straightforward answer, since each sufferer is unique and schizophrenia is a complex phenomenon. In general, schizophrenia is an extremely introverted, psychospiritual mode of perception, or way of relating to the world; or state of consciousness involving (what I have called) 'extreme empathy'. This simultaneous blessing and curse is due to a fragile, fragmented, dead, or lost ego, or conscious personality structure. The normal, ego-enforced boundaries between the self and the world have broken down, such that schizophrenia sufferers - for better and worse - find themselves identifying with everything within their scope of perception. It is because of this ego loss, or 'dis-integration' that psychosis, shamanic initiation and mystical experience are so inextricably bound.

Source: Schizophrenia: The Soul in Crisis

See also: Soul Retrieval: Seeing in the Dark

[Beautiful_Pain]

He's not like my voices, I can sometimes see them (they don't let me call up what they look like any time I want to...when they want me to). They named themselves, rather we discussed it because they didn't have names...so I brought it up. The 'good' (well, better usually) one told me they already had names, I just didn't know them. Blahblah I eventually found out and had a very scary experience that night, complete loss of control. o.o

He doesn't look, or feel like H&J. Hard to explain, not sure I could do it.

Thanks for the replies, though. I don't know what to make (or think) of the animus idea. So, I guess I'll let it store away in my head until I can, do...something. Perhaps see if it fits or anything. I don't know, I'm feeling very confused and not overly bright lately. ._. Hard for me, I'm generally quite intelligent. *shrug* I don't know what's going on.

[spiritual_emergency]

Came across this today and thought it might be helpful for you, or possibly Sarah...<blockquote>

How I Tamed the Voices

Eleanor Longden, 25, started hearing voices when she was a teenager. But, contrary to the usual perception of inner voices, Longden says hers weren’t destructive: “It was rather mundane, simply giving me a narration of some of the day-to-day things I was doing. In many ways, the voice was companionate because it was reminding me that I was carrying on with my responsibilities despite feeling so sad inside. There was something constructive about it.”

People like Longden who admit to hearing inner voices can generally expect two outcomes: a diagnosis of insanity, and potent medication. But a group of psychiatrists and psychologists believe it’s time we reconsidered labels such as schizophrenia and the drugs used as treatment. In fact, they believe we should get people to listen to, and actually engage with, the voices inside their heads. ...

Like most multiple-voice hearers, Longden says one voice was dominant. “He was demonic, and had a visual manifestation of a huge grotesque figure swathed in black. His threats were graphic and violent. The other voices, which were less clear, would back him up.” ...

Finally, the breakthrough came. “Everyone had treated me with this total lack of hope, and as completely passive. But then I was put in touch with a psychiatrist who asked me what I thought would help me. When I said I felt I could deal with the voices better when my mind was clear, he supported me to reduce the medication. Better still, he suggested that I engage with the voices because they probably had a symbolic meaning that might help me recover.”

Longden began to recognise her voices as a representation of unconscious feelings of self-loathing. This helped her to fear them less. “If they were metaphorical, it stood to reason they couldn’t have any control in the external world,” she says.

The psychiatrist encouraged her to talk back to them. “I began to question them, and their replies gave me great insight into my subconscious feelings - enormously helpful in my therapy - and then I started negotiating with them. Sometimes I’d say to the dominant one, ‘I’ll only talk to you after EastEnders,’ and he’d agree!”

Three years on, Longden is off medication. She says she’s happy, and is studying for a doctorate in clinical psychology. Although her voices sometimes return, she feels in complete control of them. “I see them as useful - almost like a stress barometer. My mum’s clue to feeling stressed is a migraine; mine is the voices.”

Dr Rufus May, a clinical psychologist, says the aim of getting people to connect with their voices is to enable them to incorporate them into their daily lives so they are not distressing. “Voices themselves are not a problem; it’s people’s relationship with them that’s important. So, rather than voices being something that we should avoid at all costs - the traditional psychiatric view - we should be trying to get people to face them, understand them and work with them.”

May says negative voices can be turned into a positive experience. “If a voice is telling someone to kill themselves, that could be signifying rage. So the voice-hearer could say, ‘Thanks for flagging this up. I’m not going to take you literally, but you’ve shown me there are things I need to change about me.’”

He even talks to his patients’ voices himself. “I ask the person to tell me verbatim what each voice is saying. I’ll ask questions such as, ‘How long have you been in Mary’s life?” and ‘Why did you come along?’ Sometimes, they’ll tell me something about the person they themselves are unaware of. After all, we’re dealing with the subconscious here.”

May recalls one man, Edward, whose voice told him to build a time machine. “I asked this voice - via Edward - why. It transpired that Edward felt responsible for his brother’s death and wanted to go back and change it. We were able to address that and Edward began to realise he wasn’t responsible.”

Professor Marius Romme, a psychiatrist, adds that many inner voices can be unthreatening and even positive. “They may try to comfort, congratulate, guide or reassure. It’s wrong to turn this into a shameful problem that people either feel they have to deny or to take medication to suppress.”

Romme’s work was instrumental in the formation of the Hearing Voices Network, an education and self-help registered charity for voice-hearers. Jacqui Dillon, who chairs the network, says:"We call inner voices - or indeed visions - messengers, because they give strong signals into people’s mindsets.”

The network has a growing professional following, Dillon says. “We get a lot of referrals from psychiatrists nowadays, although there’s still a long way to go.”<blockquote>

Talking heads
[*] Studies have found that between four and 10 per cent of Britons hear voices.
[*] Between 70 and 90 cent of people who hear voices do so following traumatic events.
[*] Voices can be male, female, without gender, child, adult, human or non-human.
[*] People may hear one voice or many. Some people report hearing hundreds, although in almost all reported cases, one dominates above the others.
[*] Voices can be experienced in the head, in the ears, outside the head, in some other part of the body, or in the environment.
[*] Voices often reflect important aspects of the hearer’s emotional state - emotions that are often unexpressed by the hearer.
[*] The “hearing voices movement” has spread across the world. There are groups in countries as far afield as Australia, Finland, Japan and Palestine.
[*] Well-known voice hearers include Plato, Sigmund Freud, Beethoven, Byron, Charles Dickens, Virginia Woolf, Sylvia Plath, Isaac Newton and Winston Churchill.</blockquote>

Read the full article: How I Tamed the Voices in My Head

See also: Hearing Voices Network</blockquote>

[Beautiful_Pain]

Wow, hadn't heard about this at all. Thanks, spiritual_emergency, will have to read through it. =)

[spiritual_emergency]

Glad to know it may be of some assistance to you, Beautiful_Pain. Here's another article I found as related to Marius Romme, the professor cited in the article above.<blockquote>

Redefining hearing voices

If it was not for social psychiatrist Professor Marius Romme, visiting professor of the University of Central England, the Hearing Voices Network may never have been founded. He describes why he believes hearing voices – or auditory hallucinations – is not necessarily symptomatic of an illness.

- based on a speech given at the launch of The Hearing Voices Network, in the summer of 2000.

.....

"Hearing voices in itself is not a symptom of an illness, but is apparent in 2 - 3 % of the population. One in three becomes a psychiatric patient - but two in three can cope well and are in no need of psychiatric care and no diagnosis can be given because 2/3 are quite healthy and well functioning.

There are in our society more people hearing voices who never became psychiatric patients than there are people who hear voices and become psychiatric patients.

The difference between patients hearing voices, and non-patients hearing voices, is their relationship with the voices. Those who never became patients accepted their voices and use them as advisers.

In patients, however, voices are not accepted and seen as evil-messengers.

Don’t kill the messenger
They are messengers and they have a message. They are related to sincere problems that occurred in the person’s life and they tell us about those problems. Therefore it is not wise to kill the messenger. Instead of not-listening to the message we should look how to help and sustain the person in solving their problems. (It is like it has been in many wars and conflicts in ancient times already, where the messengers were killed when a message was not welcome).

Research shows also that hearing voices in itself is not related to the illness of schizophrenia. In population research only 16% of the whole group of voice hearers can be diagnosed with schizophrenia.

Also, therefore, it is not right to identify hearing voices as an illness. Psychiatry in our western culture, however, tends unjustly to identify hearing voices with schizophrenia. Going to a psychiatrist with hearing voices gives you an 80% chance of getting a diagnosis of schizophrenia.

However, when you identify hearing voices with illness and try to kill the voices with neuroleptic medication, you just miss the personal problems that lay at the roots of hearing voices - and you will not help the person solving those problems. You just make a chronic patient.

Handicap
Many patients rightly realize that their experience of hearing voices is wrongly interpreted as a symptom of an illness of schizophrenia. Many patients also rightly feel that it is a handicap that they are not allowed to talk about their voices in psychiatry on fully unjustified grounds.

Many patients also are unjustly treated with high doses of neuroleptics which becomes a drawback to their development and their possibility to take their lives in their own hands.

Therefore many voice hearers are glad that there is an opportunity created by the National Hearing Voices Network, where their experience is recognized and accepted as real. Where the possibilities are available to talk about this experience and be appreciated for it.

Groups
In these groups of voice hearers people can learn form each-other about coping with their voices and they can support each other in their battle to stop being discriminated against. I do not deny that there exists a pattern of behaviour and experience that can be categorized as "schizophrenia.

The question, however, is how this pattern of behaviour and experience has developed in the diagnosed individual. We know quite a few people who, when they first heard voices, were not able to cope with their voices and developed a range of secondary reactions that mimic the whole range of schizophrenic behaviour and therefore were diagnosed as such.

But when they started to listen to their voices and recognise their problems and were able to learn to cope with their problems they were also able to cope with their voices and the full range of reactions diminished or vanished.

Help
Therefore everyone who hears voices and has troubles with them, should be given the opportunity to assess the relationship of the voices. Their life experiences should be assessed for the reasons for hearing voices, before they become diagnosed and are treated for an illness instead of being helped with their problems.

The negative attitude of our society and our psychiatric services towards hearing voices and schizophrenia should be scrutinized. As long as that is not the case HVN offers a unique opportunity for voice hearers to scrutinize their own victim status and help each other to overcome the negative attitude of the society the consequences of discrimination related to it.

Prognosis
The prognosis of hearing voices is more positive than generally is perceived. In Sandra Escher's research with children hearing voices she followed 82 children over a period of four years. In that period 64% of the children’s voices disappeared congruently with learning to cope with emotions and becoming less stressed.

In children with whom the voices were psychiatrised and made a part of an illness and not given proper attention, voices did not vanish, but became worse, the development of those children was delayed.

Normalising the experience within the family was of help to children and parents who became able to support the child with existing problems. While the illness concept estranges parents and children, makes them afraid and introduces a fatal outlook on the future of a life-time illness.

Therefore the HVN is of such importance and should expand its activities in training professionals to react differently with voices and voice hearers to support each-other instead of deny their experience and try to kill it. To develop actions that will end the social taboo.

As long as there exist a social taboo against voices psychiatry will keep up his role as custodian of this taboo. Because that is what psychiatry is set up for, to watch over societies interests in mental health affairs. In itself this is an adequate role when it is done rightly and effectively, which is at the moment not the case as far as voice hearing is concerned.

Democratic force
The social taboo however will change if the uniting of people hearing voices becomes strong enough as a democratic force to realize that change, as has been the case with the gay movement. Therefore it is good that there are not only national networks, but that there will be more international co-operation's between the different countries in which the movement is developing.

It started with a National Network for voice hearers in Holland in 1987. While people came together at the first conference of voice hearers in the city of Utrecht. Voice hearers decided to start an association. At that time we all did not know much about hearing voices. Research was practically only done from a point of view of illness and only at the patient hood level.

Thereafter England was the first country, and Manchester the first city to pick up this idea and got best organized and most active. Therefore an international stimulating role would fit the UK well. In the years that have passed there has been a gradual development of hearing voices networks over Europe. First in Finland, thereafter in Italy, Portugal, Sweden and Germany ,and . Also outside of Europe it started in Japan, Australia, the USA and even Malaysia.

When we look at the different countries it shows that good developments like in England need a paid professional co-ordinator to support and organize the network. This is the case in Finland and Sweden. In other countries development is slow because not enough human and financial resources are invested."

Read the full article: Redefining Hearing Voices

[spiritual_emergency]

And then, just because this song fits this topic so very well. This can be imagined as a conversation one might have between different parts of one's self. Listen....

<center><font color=191970>The Scientist</font>

<font color=#C71585>Come up to meet you,
Tell you I'm sorry,
You don't know how lovely you are.

I had to find you,
Tell you I need you,
Tell you I set you apart.

Tell me your secrets,
And ask me your questions,
Oh, let's go back to the start.

Runnin' in circles,
Comin' up tails,
Heads on the science apart.

Nobody said it was easy,
It's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard.
Oh, take me back to the start.</font>

<font color=191970>I was just guessin',
At numbers and figures,
Pullin' the puzzles apart.

Questions of science,
Science and progress,
Do not speak as loud as my heart.</font>

<font color=#C71585>Tell me you love me,
Come back and haunt me,
Oh, on I rush to the start.

Runnin' in circles,
Chasin' up tails,
Comin' back as we are.

Nobody said it was easy,
Oh, it's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be so hard.
I'm goin' back to the start

</font></center>



Note: The "pretty in pink" is where I "hear" the friendship of Sarah and Hannah.

See also: May it Be

[spiritual_emergency]

Here's a personal account I came across of someone who worked with Marius Romme...<blockquote>The final map maker is Marius Romme, Marius who in his own words is a traditional psychiatrist, is without doubt one of the greatest map makers who it has been my good fortune to know. When he listened to Patsy Hage and explored what she was saying it was then in my opinion he stopped being a traditional psychiatrist. When he asserted in public for the first time that hearing voices was a normal experience and that voice hearing was not to be feared he stopped being a traditional psychiatrist. When he continued his work despite being ridiculed and criticised by his peers he stopped being a traditional psychiatrist and in my opinion became a great psychiatrist.

To Patsy Sandra and Marius I only owe one thing and that is my life.

Up to this point I have mentioned nine people who have been participants in one way or another in my recovery journey and therein lies the first stepping stone to recovery; people.

If I were to name all the people who have played a part in my recovery the list would be massive. The other thing about this list would be the fact that the majority on it would not be professionals. One of my fundamental beliefs about recovery is the premise that recovery cannot and does not happen in isolation. Nor can it happen if all our relationships are based on a professional and client interaction. Recovery is by definition wholeness and no one can be whole if they are isolated from the society, in which they live and work.

For many years I had argued that there is no such thing as mental illness this has lead me into some interesting debates with people over the last few years. One of these debates was with Marius Romme, during this discussion it became clear, that Marius was not arguing a case for biological illness, what he in fact was saying was that illness could be expressed as a persons inability to function in society. This I can accept as it means that recovery is no longer a gift from doctors but the responsibility of us all.

Read the full article here: The Ron Coleman Story

[spiritual_emergency]

<blockquote>
A friend passed this article to me. It highlights more of the work of Marius Romme and the Hearing Voices Network and also touches on the use of CBT therapy which is becoming an increasingly popular form of treatment in the UK. It's written by Daniel Smith, author of Muses, Madmen and Prophets: Rethinking the History, Science and Meaning of Auditory Hallucination

<hr width=100% size=2>

<font size=4>Can You Live With the Voices in Your Head?</font>

Angelo, a London-born scientist in his early 30s with sandy brown hair, round wire-frame glasses and a slight, unobtrusive stammer, vividly recalls the day he began to hear voices. It was Jan. 7, 2001, and he had recently passed his Ph.D. oral exams in chemistry at an American university, where, for the previous four and a half years, he conducted research into infrared electromagnetism. Angelo was walking home from the laboratory when, all of a sudden, he heard two voices in his head. “It was like hearing thoughts in my mind that were not mine,” he explained recently. “They identified themselves as Andrew and Oliver, two angels. In my mind’s eye, I could see an image of a bald, middle-aged man dressed in white against a white background. This, I was told, was Oliver.” What the angels said, to Angelo’s horror, was that in the coming days, he would die of a brain hemorrhage.

Terrified, Angelo hurried home and locked himself into his apartment. For three long days he waited out his fate, at which time his supervisor drove him to a local hospital, where Angelo was admitted to the psychiatric ward. It was his first time under psychiatric care. He had never heard voices before. His diagnosis was schizophrenia with depressive overtones.

Angelo remembers his time at the hospital as the deepening of a nightmare. On top of his natural confusion and fear over the shattering of his psychological stability, Angelo did not react well to the antipsychotic he’d been prescribed, risperidone, which is meant to alleviate the symptoms of schizophrenia by reducing the level of dopamine in the brain. In Angelo’s case, the pills had a predominantly negative effect. His voices remained strong and disturbing — an unshakable presence, quiet only in sleep — while he grew sluggish and enervated. “If you think of the mind as a flowing river of thoughts,” he told me in an e-mail message, “the drug made my mind feel like a slow-moving river of treacle.” Several days into his stay, Angelo’s parents flew to the United States from London and took him back home.

More than six years later, Angelo still lives at his parents’ house. He currently takes a cocktail of antidepressants and antipsychotics, with tolerable side effects, and sees a psychologist every two months to monitor his medication. The pills help Angelo to manage his voices, but they have not been able to eradicate them. Shortly after his return to London, he made an attempt to resume his career, accepting a research position at the university where he had received his undergraduate degree. He lasted eight months (his neighbors heard him screaming at his voices and called the police), checked himself into the hospital for six weeks and returned home. Despite these setbacks, Angelo has maintained his optimism. He is eager to discover new ways to combat his voices. Not long ago, he found one. In November, his psychologist informed him of a local support group for people who hear voices, from which he thought Angelo might benefit. Angelo began to attend the group late last year.

Read the rest of the article here: Can You Live With the Voices in Your Head?