[Secretum]

Sometimes I wonder how I ever got to believing such-and-such an old delusion. I've been trying to determine how they develop.

I think mine develop innocuously, as just imaginative ideas that get out of control and become "real". For example, a little over a year ago for 3ish months, I believed I was a demon. Before this started, I read a fantasy novel that described three species of hominoid creatures-humans, vampires, and daemons. The book described daemons as being creative and intelligent, but emotionally unstable. When I read that, I thought-"that's me!". It took a few weeks for it to grow into a delusion that I actually believed, and for the "daemon" creature described to become the typical angel from hell. It converged with and was reinforced by an older delusion that I had superpowers (because supernatural beings need to be able to make themselves invisible and do magic and such )

Other times, my delusions stem from my mood. Believing that God has engineered the universe against me and that effort is futile is an example of one that stems from depression.

How do your delusions develop?

Also, what do you think causes them? Demons/ghosts? The ability to experience alternate realities? Or is it simply dopaminergic overactivity in the mesolimbic neural circuits?

[chasms]

who knows what causes them. because right now a part of me is saying youre delusional and the other part is saying no im not i know the truth. i get these like..visions of truth. i think i know what the meaning of life is and i got it through angels speaking in my mind as my thoughts though. masking behind them.

[misslabarinth]

Originally Posted by Secretum

Sometimes I wonder how I ever got to believing such-and-such an old delusion. I've been trying to determine how they develop.

I think mine develop innocuously, as just imaginative ideas that get out of control and become "real". For example, a little over a year ago for 3ish months, I believed I was a demon. Before this started, I read a fantasy novel that described three species of hominoid creatures-humans, vampires, and daemons. The book described daemons as being creative and intelligent, but emotionally unstable. When I read that, I thought-"that's me!". It took a few weeks for it to grow into a delusion that I actually believed, and for the "daemon" creature described to become the typical angel from hell. It converged with and was reinforced by an older delusion that I had superpowers (because supernatural beings need to be able to make themselves invisible and do magic and such )

Other times, my delusions stem from my mood. Believing that God has engineered the universe against me and that effort is futile is an example of one that stems from depression.

How do your delusions develop?

Also, what do you think causes them? Demons/ghosts? The ability to experience alternate realities? Or is it simply dopaminergic overactivity in the mesolimbic neural circuits?

It is about the same for me, i had thought myself a demon before because of how 'cold' my step father kept calling me, overtime i heard something (like an article or, can't quite remember, however it was on the internet.) and it stated about the behaviors of 'demons' and the behaviors that the 'demons' had a lot of similar traits as me. and thats how my delusion started.
Take care ~
MissLabarinth

[junkDNA]

hmmm... that's a good question. i am not really sure to be honest. interesting to think about

[justmeandmyhead]

My psychiatrist once asked me if I used to read a lot of horror and sci fi stories as a child because my delusions had themes of those in. Maybe they come from things we do as children that subconsciously stick with us

[CopperStar]

Mine come from BP1.

And I believe it begins with a combination of my childhood experiences and real world stimuli during a BP episode. So all three of things combine at once.

For example, I grew up in an abusive environment and was always desperately trying to protect my younger brother - anything that involves innocents in danger or being abandoned or mistreated is likely to get a rise out of me.

Then, I'd be reading the news and reading from sources with an anti-government angle to them, conspiracy theory websites and such. There would be plenty of facts mixed in with plenty of speculation and theory.

Those two would seem to combine first, setting off my protective vigilante streak from my childhood, while also giving me just enough facts to not question my strong "gut feelings" initially.

Then my BP1 tosses some brain dysfunction in the mix, and the whole thing morphs into a paranoid episode that the government is going to try to kill the people I love.

Bam, paranoid psychosis.