I believe , I am , what do you think , are you.

I'm doing much better than I was a year from now... I think. Now I have to deal with bipolar on top of everything else but the meds take care of it, with a price, oh dear with a price that makes me sigh so badly. Still, I'm not in the fetal position, or ready to kill myself, or ruminating on bad thoughts as often.

The price I pay is partial anhedonia.

[Sometimes psychotic]

Yes I was relapsing this time last year.....

[Atypical_Disaster]

Yes. It's why I haven't been nearly as active here as I used to be, I've been out living my life.

Cool.

I wonder how far I can go. its both nice and slightly tinged with sadness. If I keep improving there will come a time when i m effectively cured. However I don't believe I'm going to be cured. So what's more likely is that things will even out , and I'll probably realise , dang I can't improve any furher...

And this is as good as it gets , that day will suck ***.

[junkDNA]

yes..definitely

[junkDNA]

Originally Posted by junkDNA

yes..definitely

but there are some times when i think im not

[insilence]

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Yes I was relapsing this time last year.....

mine hit in mid winter, but im doing better since then..thank clozapine!

[misslabarinth]

It all really depends, for me this summer has had its ups and downs.
As of right now; I believe I'm fine.
~
MissLabarinth

[Loial]

It's been just over a year since my psychosis returned & with medication my symptoms have reduced to only quiet sporadic voices. Currently doing well off medication so yes I have come a long way towards recovery in the past year.

[Atypical_Disaster]

Originally Posted by Materly

Cool.

I wonder how far I can go. its both nice and slightly tinged with sadness. If I keep improving there will come a time when i m effectively cured. However I don't believe I'm going to be cured. So what's more likely is that things will even out , and I'll probably realise , dang I can't improve any furher...

And this is as good as it gets , that day will suck ***.

For me personally I have had to accept that there are some limitations that I will always have to live with. But I've learned that focusing on what I can do rather than what I cannot do has helped a ton.

[junkDNA]

i think my recovery is very slow... but i have seen improvements and so have others in my life. but... i still have a long way to go and sometimes i relapse but not near as bad as before

[Shmooey]

I'm better than I was at this time last year, but far from recovered.

Last year I was doing a two-week inpatient program and barely able to leave the house. These days, I can drive myself places and I have not been inpatient since that time last year. I am still suffering a lot from delusions and paranoia, not to mention tactile hallucinations. The Haldol helps with my auditory and visuals but not the tactile ones for some reason.

Yes, definitely doing much better. I was a mess this time last year.

[RisuNeko]

I would say yes. Last year was a very bleak year, but this year I've been either fully functional but usually a little depressed and sometimes hallucinating, but nothing major, or just fine. I've been "just fine" aside from anxiety which is always there and I actually have learned to embrace because it's what motivates me, for the past 4 months or so.

[ickydog2006]

I'm doing better, mainly because I'm finally on some meds that work (at least for the time being). I've been struggling lately though with feelings like I'm a monster caged by meds. I know that I'll probably need to be on meds the rest of my life and it's hard knowing that people around me don't understand, and that they don't understand the feeling of being two different people. I'm so different when off meds and I know I need them to function in society and reality, because my thoughts and desires and reality are so skewed when I'm off them. I don't want to be that person (or be hospitalized again) and I like who I am on meds, but sometimes I feel like it isn't really me. I feel like such a fake/fraud taking meds, but I'm a monster without them. I know it's an obvious choice as one leaves me locked up or possibly hurting people, but that doesn't make it easier, and I wish I had someone IRL who understood.

[newtus]

yes i think i am.
i was in hospital this time last year i believe. i cant remember. or before. over a year ago.
but i am doing better.

this time last year i was on haldol injection and zombified out. i was numbed.

now im going to school. i have classes under my belt. ive been a maid of honor in wedding. ive been traveling. ive been to events and festivals. basically doing stuff i normally wouldnt do. all while taking my meds. AND not being in hospital.

now that i think about it i havent been in hospital for over a year!

[ickydog2006]

I was really excited to see this. I haven't checked in in a long time, and you used to be pretty out there. No offense.

Originally Posted by newtus

yes i think i am.
i was in hospital this time last year i believe. i cant remember. or before. over a year ago.
but i am doing better.

this time last year i was on haldol injection and zombified out. i was numbed.

now im going to school. i have classes under my belt. ive been a maid of honor in wedding. ive been traveling. ive been to events and festivals. basically doing stuff i normally wouldnt do. all while taking my meds. AND not being in hospital.

now that i think about it i havent been in hospital for over a year!

I was better off last year.
Last year I was on a low dose of my antipsychotic and I still had the voices, but they weren't talking to me and I could ignore them most of the time.

This year, I had a horrible flare up and had to go back to the hospital and I am now on two antipsychotics but I am still experiencing really bad symptoms.

[hexacoda]

Yes, I got a job! I wasn't doing badly a year ago (it's been 4 years since my last episode) but I wasn't doing as great as I am now either.

[Secretum]

It's really encouraging to hear that everyone is doing better!

I think I am doing better now, too, but I wouldn't have been able to say that a month ago. Everything has just improved so much in the past month, with my new job and new life.

[daisymazed]

I'm doing the same. Confused and trying to cope with it all.
I've given up ever being well again. Sheesh!

[newtus]

Originally Posted by ickydog2006

I was really excited to see this. I haven't checked in in a long time, and you used to be pretty out there. No offense.

i still have paranoid beliefs that i dont know are true or not but i believe to be like being gangstalked. but i try to not let those things trouble me. its hard though cause im troubled everyday by them. and i still have my beliefs on conspiracies. i guess its about keeping them in check. idk.

Just on meds , especially APs , those drugs are largely there to stop specific symptoms , hallucinations especially , you still got to do all that positive stuff to keep your mood in order.

For example if a healthy person , non sz , started to think and do stuff that was not a bit positive , then they too would end up depressed and anxious , its just the way our brains work.

The problem with APs is that they can make people feel a bit off as a result of them so that can add to the problems , the trick is to use them with a specific goal in mind , I.e to stop hallucinations , then to quantify their negative effects , by saying this is the price I pay , and then after that to do all the positive stuff so as to maintain your mood , (just like everyone else does)....

[Olanza-what?]

NO, I'm still trying to understand what is going on with me. I'm still waiting on a doctor that will pay attention to what I am saying. I am still hoping for a therapist. I still want to know if I am seeing ghost or are my eyes failing me. I am still waiting on neuro doc to tell me withour reservation that I am in fact having simple partial complex seizures, I am still waiting on someone to explain the results of a neurocognitive test I took a few months ago, I am still waiting for my docs to treat the depression and not just sleep issues.

I am still waiting for the feeling of purposely being ignored by friends and loved ones to go away. I'm still waiting on husband to acknowledge that he also hears the sounds that I hear, and occassionally someone calling my name. I'm still waiting for me, myself to stop talking to I. I'm still waiting on the feeling that something bad is going to happen will go away or those that I tell would believe me.

No, no changes here. As a matter of fact, I think I am worse and am getting pretty darn tired of waiting. The only solid change is that I don't dream to much now...meds I guess.

Diagnosis? Hmm, bipolar schizoeffective - simple complex partial seizures - and heart/health issues