[JessieRosie1]

Hi there,

A dear friend of mine is currently experiencing a deep state of psychosis after giving birth to her first child 12 days ago and I was hoping that some of you may be able to give me some advice..

Her partner is at home with her and we (friends and family) are taking shifts to care for the baby. She has been on medication for 3 days now.

I stayed over last night and my heart broke to see my friend so disassociated and so irrational. She has ran down the road naked, has done things with her body that in any 'normal' situation would have been humiliating for her. She is also saying the nastiest things she can think of to those she loves. We know it's not 'her' so we can handle it.

I guess my question is, is it best to try to avoid any verbal aggression that she postures? For example, if she says to me "Don't you think my partner is a misogynist?" Do I say what is true - which is 'no' or do I avoid any answer thus not giving her an excuse to build on the aggression?

The other query I have is, can I, and is it helpful to talk to her now about the fact that she is experiencing psychosis? It's like the elephant in the room - and I'm not sure if I should name it with her. Her partner does - but I'm not sure if it's helpful for me to? In normal circumstances she and I are very open about everything....

Thanks for reading and considering....

Jess

[Psychotic_Phil]

With me, when I had experienced psychosis, my theories and thoughts were always right in my mind and anyone who tried to convince me otherwise was wrong. It was exhausting for everyone else trying to tell me no. I don't really know what to say but I can sympathize.

I'm sorry your friend is struggling at the moment. It must be so hard for everyone.

You sound like a very good friend to stay by her and help and not take what she's says personally, she's fortunate to have people like you in her life.

as far as your question: </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
is it best to try to avoid any verbal aggression that she postures? For example, if she says to me "Don't you think my partner is a misogynist?" Do I say what is true - which is 'no' or do I avoid any answer thus not giving her an excuse to build on the aggression?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> I'm not a professional and you know her reactions-- I do not-- ..... but this has helped me a few times when I was in therapy-- -- maybe try asking a question back to her-- that let's her know she was heard and also the question might get her to further work through her perceptions. Like for example-- if she asked if you thought her partner was a misogynist-- you could say something like-- "OH? why do you ask that?".....

Well this has helped me a few times in looking further into my perceptions and I also felt heard at the same time-- I wasn't told I was wrong or dumb or anything-- I didn't have to get defensive, at least at that time.

Good luck. Hope she gets better real soon and you have your familiar friend back!

mandy

[JessieRosie1]

Thanks for your replies guys;

Phil - that is helpful for me to know. I had a feeling that I shouldn't contradict what my friend says - as in her mind she is right.

Mandy - your comments make a lot of sense as well.

I got a text from her husband today saying that she was 'confused' and 'exahusted' and that things were getting better. I'm just glad she's moving out of the mania she's had for the last 3 days.

Cheers

Jess

[spiritual_emergency]

JessieRosie: I guess my question is, is it best to try to avoid any verbal aggression that she postures? For example, if she says to me "Don't you think my partner is a misogynist?" Do I say what is true - which is 'no' or do I avoid any answer thus not giving her an excuse to build on the aggression?

A few days have passed since you posted -- perhaps your friend is no longer in the same space. Nonetheless, I would say that the place to begin from is the space that she is in. In this case for example, should she ask, 'Do you think my partner is a misogynist?" an appropriate response might be, "Do you feel he is?" and then encourage her to talk about why she feels that he is or isn't.

Bear in mind that her experience of her relationship with her partner will be different from your relationship to him. She may experience him as a misogynist even if he isn't one so this is where you need to begin -- from her experience of reality.

[evildouble102]

First I want to say I'm sorry that you and the family have to go through this. It must be very difficult. I speak from experience I agree that sometimes when you are in the midst of things... well, what I'm trying to say is sometimes it doesn't matter what people say to the person who is experiencing psychosis that you should follow your heart. One thing that a therapist once told me of her experience with a patient who was very much removed from reality and he would talk about the various people in this place that he often visited which didn't exist only in his mind. She said one thing that she said that seemed to get through to him that wasn't denying him his version of reality was that she asked to go with him and meet the king of this land and she said she thinks she really got to him and made him really kind of take a look at his reality... anyway I hope this helps and makes some sort of sense to you. Sometimes things just take time and patients I have been in various programs and more psych wards than I would like to count and have seen a lot of different cases of various psychosis and some people you can't get through to no matter what, you can't reason with someone who is totally irrational; it just can't be done. Hang in there. hugs... Danielle