Roll Call 65

Wonder who could do it?

I'm too happy to do it myself.

I'm just so darn frickin happy, and it doesn't make any sense because nothing is going right. It's all crashing and I think it's hilarious. They should have left me to my own medicines. It was amazing to hate myself so deeply.

That is not good.

SELF-HATRED IS BAD.

You erased.

I hope I don't have sinus cancer. I have all the symptoms.

Home from work. Tiring, but it was good to see that I wasn't the only one that dressed up. Although, the ones that did were all waiters and waitresses. Fun though.

Worst date ever. I felt like I was interrogated. After question after question, especially about my father who has sz, she began to tell me that he should change his diet so to eat better and cure him of his illness. I told her that I didn't believe it was a difficulty dieting when it comes to sz. I was sick of her solution so I just told her that I personally disagreed with her, and thought it best to force him to go into the emergency room to get help. She was then appalled and asked why I would do anything like that. I told her because I love him. Still, frustrated, she told me that was horrible.

Before when I was going through the paces with her she asked why writing. I told her I've read a thousand book, have a university degree and strong writing skills. Grad school wasn't going to happen, not of lack of my effort.

After the whole father disagreement I told her that I had sz too, and it's not about a change of diet and that he needed to free his mind. I then told I don't regularly tell dates this but told I said I have sz and let her think about that for a moment while I go to the bathroom.

After that she turned against me and my university degree and my selection of my professors. I told her that before a class I would ask two questions: What is wisdom and why should I take your class?

She that those were horrlble questions and she fought with me on it then she thought I was full of myself. I tried to change topic and be civil, asking her simple questions. She didn't want to change the subject.

Then I finally said it: I was the first of my siblings to graduate high school. First one to get a degree in my entire family, and first one to control SZ. I have a passion that brings me endless joy, I love my family, including my father, and believe that people should learn that dating is a dance, and I felt she was stepping on my shoes.

I felt that her eyes were trying to melt my face and the waitress came over and asked if we wanted more drinks. I told the lady Ill have a second beer even if she is finished drinking. She got the clue and wantonly put her jacket on and left. I enjoyed my beer alone, paid for the bill, and thought... what a *****.

That does sound like a terrible date. I wish it had been different. You'll have other dates though that will be a lot better.

i took all my ambien and i cant sleep now. so im starting to take the xanax. ive slept 3 times but now im awake.

im out and dont have refills til nov 9.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

this was a complete mistake. i shouldve been at my home with my dad tonight. not here at my moms.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

Morning everyone!

I slept like a baby last night at my parents house... slept straight through until 05:30, then fell back asleep until just before my alarm at 6:50. That's pretty unusual for me... I'll normally wake up around 02:00 or 03:00 as well.

Going over to visit my sister today. I saw her briefly last night with my niece/nephew. My nephew was dressed up like a pirate & my niece was dressed as a princess I guess.

morning, i don't usually check in on weekends but i just wanted to let people know the therapist i tried saturday is a godsend. i actually ended up crossing out everything i wrote in the symptoms questionnaire at the last minute and i didn't tell her about AM, but i think she picked up a vibe that there was more than i was able to say so she wants me to do a full psych eval. but really the best part was that i was able to tell her about being trans, i just came right out and said it this time rather than wasting anymore time with someone who hates me. she was incredible about it. she apologized that i had to deal with that in oklahoma of all places (but i reminded her it's rough everywhere so it doesn't matter much) and i'm gonna be seeing her son who works in the same office as her and works more extensively with trans people. basically an everything's coming up milhouse situation!!!!!!! ��

About to break up with my girlfriend. She do better without me. She deserves it. I'm not suppose to be dating anyways. That's how it is.

Even though I hate daylight saving time, I'm grateful for the "extra" hour of sleep. About to go start some coffee. Hope everyone is OK.

i didnt sleep so well. i was at my moms but in back home now

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

good morning kids... i forgot about the time change. im drinking coffee and watching roseanne.

the time change messed me up. i woke up at 4am

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

That's my target time to try to get up for the next few weeks because I have early appointments coming up. Dreading them too.

my happiness doesnt last long because i try to find happiness in material possessions. a new this or that.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

I know what you mean... I'm very materialistic but I'm trying to become less so.