Roll Call 69

im just waiting for Door2015 to get off from work so i can skype her. but it wont be for another 2 hours. i just ate a snack.

I'm not doing anything as usual. I have a sore mouth at the moment from eating potato chips and I feel generally depressed and insular.

I'm doing **** all today because my brain is fried and I can't people at all because today I am way too tired to give two ****s about hiding my misanthropy.

On Wednesday I get to pay off the money I owe on my student account and hopefully register for Spring classes.

I'm very excited about 2016, I am determined to make it a great year

i hope things go well bluebird!

i think im gonna ask for ativan in place of xanax when i see my pdoc. what do you guys think?

Ativan did nothing for me when I was taking Klonopin. Why would you want to switch?

I hope you guys are all alright.
I feel like a whale. I checked my bmi today and it's in the "normal" range, right dab in the middle.
But I still feel fat. I feel like I have a gut.

Is it normal to have a normal bmi but still be fat?

I think your tolerance is for benzo's not necessarily just Xanax. I don't think switching will work. You should really just taper off and learn to live with your anxiety and deal with it through therapy. They're not supposed to be prescribed for more than something like 4 weeks and are for acute anxiety, not chronic. This is just another case of doctors fobbing off patients who need help, with drugs that have horrible side effects and addiction potential.

i agree somewhat. my clinic/pdoc write me off. as with other people. i do have chronic anxiety and its severe. pretty severe. and the xanax has stopped working. they said they wont go higher than .5mg but yet i take 4 pills a day or at least are prescribed that but i take it as needed and then half at night. i always have some left over. but theres no point in having extra if it doesnt work anyway.

i dont see a therapist for another (more than) two weeks. they "fobbed" me off on another one. a fill in therapist til mine gets back. i find myself taking more and more xanax (up to 3 pills for an acute attack). sometimes more. still doesnt work. but yet itll get worse if i dont take it.

im not sure how im supposed to taper off it if my anxiety and panic is so effing bad.

now im finding myself drinking (alcohol) myself to sleep because my ambien doesnt work anymore. its been a month since i started drinking. maybe 3 weeks and now i need more alcohol to get to sleep as im becoming tolerant to it. its all to sleep. but even now with boredom im drinking in the middle of the day.

idk what ive become anymore. i dont feel depressed anymore but i feel bored and lonely all the time. that stuff never goes away. just like my paranoia and anxiety dont let up. luckily the voices have let up somewhat.

agh. idk.

i thought switching would work.

i really need something for my anxiety.
xanax just creates a placebo effect now.
it doesnt actually work anymore.
i still take it...for the placebo effect.

I agree that the tolerance is probably to benzos but I don't see how switching would hurt. If one thing doesn't work try something else. It's worth a shot.

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I'm drinking coffee again. It's so cold I just want to be warm.
Of course all the coffee doesn't help my anxiety so I'll probably be a mess later. My husband still hasn't gotten up. I guess there's no sense to it now. It's almost time to go back to bed. I'll be watching football alone tonight.

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Chickenfoot is right, your tolerance for benzos is too high. This is the problem with benzos, although I'd have been much better off if they hadn't forced me off of them. Try to decrease how much benzos you take, and don't drink while on benzos, if pushes your tolerance much higher.

How about buspar? I think that's supposed to help with general anxiety. I hope you get something figured out.

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Ah lads, Lemmy is dead! In shock here. One of my heroes as a teen and still to this day. Going to dust of the guitar and have a jam of all the motorhead tunes I can remember. We'll start with Ace of Spades I think.

You could go on Zopiclone for the sleep, it's a relative of ambien/zolpidem and is used quite alot over here. That should help with the tolerance if you take zopiclone instead. If they ask you were you ever on it before say 'yes' and it wasn't very strong, then they'll give you the actual working dose of 15mg a night as opposed to 7.5 which does nothing to most people.

I read zopiclone isnt commercially available in the US? but it has an ingredient in another med thats available. So idk. Probably not an active ingredient. It must not be used much over here or at all. I seriosuly doubt a clinic like mine would prescribe zopiclone to me only because of lack of availability.

i didnt know alcohol pushes tolerance higher :/
dang
well...ive just been trying to get to sleep
and otherwise drinking out of boredom :/

im really scared to get off them since they helped so much in the beginning and for a long while

Try cutting back and then save them for prn and try to live without. That's what I'm doing with Ritalin.

thats a good idea

My tolerance is beyond massive. You should take no more than 0.5mg every 3 hours or so. Then they will start working again the way that they're supposed to which means you've built a prescribed tolerance, then cut back and lower tolerance. I only take 20mg Ritalin from double and before, double that. It helps me stay awake, motivated and focused the same now.

The hard part is not using all of then. I take 3 instead of 4 a day and save the other one but it took over a year, slowly getting closer to leaving the dependency. You might think you're addicted but you're not. Boredom etc = alcohol, needing any substance. Everything we know about addition is wrong.

Checking in checking in omg it's so hard to type on this new iPhone. I got the 6s plus. Maybe it's the cover.

Right now just travelling driving around Canada with my dad and sister.

He says I'm doing the best he's ever seen me.

i dont believe im addicted actually.
i take 3 xanax at night to sleep in addition to my ambien but im sure i could do without doing that and only take the xanax prn in the day.

i bet it is gonna take a long time!
but i dont see what the problem is with asking for ativan. i feel like it might help in place of whats not helping. i guess from whats been said here ativan mist be a benzo too?

theres some things i just dont google because i feel other peopls experience and knowledge of things would be better than reading webmd or drugs.com or something like that. its gotta be!

Yes, Ativan is also a benzo.