[Pastel Kitten]

Sorry that this is pretty lengthy. I'm not sure if this is the right forum to post to, but I have a few concerns. Last year, I seemed to be making some noticeable progress mentally. I wasn't breaking down as often, etc. Then something in July took place that caused a rapid decline in my mental progression. To keep it brief, I went to wake my boyfriend whom I live with from a nap, and I believe he sat up quickly because he was startled. I heard him make the initial "startled" sound, but that quickly progressed into a series of yells until I thought he was truly possessed. He got out of bed and grabbed my arm which is when I started screaming from the tops of my lungs, thinking I was being attacked, and ran out of the bedroom so fast that I fell onto the tiled ground and busted both my knees open. He told me all that happened was that I walked into the room and soon after started screaming out of nowhere, and that he'd grabbed my arm while telling me to calm down. A friend who witnessed it also told me my boyfriend never started yelling at all.

Ever since then, I have been more stressed, and more paranoid. Nothing like that ever happened again, but I've been noticing very subtle changes that have been bothering me. Throughout the past 2 or so months I've occasionally heard strange dripping sounds throughout my house, as though there was a leak, while I was lying in bed. They always made me anxious and I'd get up to check the whole house for the source, but could never find any. At first I thought it was possibly the heater, but the last time it happened was about 2 weeks ago and my heater wasn't even on. The loudness of the dripping sound also stayed exactly the same no matter where I was in the house which was particularly frustrating.

My head has always been pretty noisy. I've always heard random snip-its of conversations, music, etc. all internally, and never anything negative or directed towards me - basically, pretty normal stuff. But 2 weeks ago one or two of those voices directed their attention towards me and said "Hey, hey Pastel Kitten. There's a good Pastel Kitten, and a bad Pastel Kitten." (Except they said my real name). This unsettled me and as soon as they finished saying that, I heard those annoying dripping sounds start up again.

Last night, something even scarier happened to me which is why I'm posting this. I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep and was feeling pretty stressed. I noticed my head was particularly noisy at that moment for whatever reason. The volume of whatever I was hearing, music, people, etc. was louder than normal. It got to the point where I heard two men yelling at each other very loudly. They were fighting. It got so loud that I thought for sure the neighbors upstairs were hearing this, even though I knew it was coming from in my head. This became louder and louder until I heard someone start screaming out of nowhere, very briefly. I went into some dream-like state (I say dream-like because this didn't feel like a dream, especially since I knew I was still lying in bed, listening to what was going on in my head.)

I saw a whole bunch of visuals, like what you would see in a dream, of people shooting each other, throwing granades, hearing them scream, and finally I saw these two sorcerer-looking guys fly off into the woods. I followed them there, and some witch lady grabbed my arms hard and started telling me really negative things, loudly. I no longer saw her. I was lying in bed hearing her and other voices loudly (externally) telling me horrible things all at the same time. The ones that weren't speaking were laughing. Then I snapped out of it (or woke up...I can't even tell). I was shaking for quite some time and had to call my boyfriend on the phone to calm down.

I don't know what to make of this. I can see how, to some, this would seem like a vivid nightmare but I have had vivid dreams/nightmares for all of my life, and I have never had something like this happen..especially because I know for a fact I was awake when it began. I actually thought they were in my bedroom. This combined with the other things I mentioned really worries me. Are these really auditory hallucinations? Everything worrying that's happened to me (other than these dream-like visuals which I'm not as concerned with) has been auditory in some way. I'm 20 years old, by the way. Any advice is appreciated.

[BlossomingLen]

Hello, it's a pleasure to meet you. I hope you're doing okay.

I don't personally have Schizophrenia, at least, I don't believe so. But I have had hallucinations before. I have never had extremely vivid, visual ones. But delusions, doubt, and paranoia is very common for me. I often hear sounds and constantly wander around my home to check them. They sometimes get better or worse, depending on stress. Perhaps during these moments where it's gotten worse, you've been under stress? Or some kind of change has occurred? Something, I'm sure, must have happened in order to trigger these hallucinations, paranoia and delusions more often.

How to Deal With Your Paranoia (with Pictures) - wikiHow

https://www.mentalhelp.net/advice/wh...-for-paranoia/

Schizophrenic Hallucinations and Delusions | Everyday Health

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...hallucinations

Here are some links that may help you? Either way, it's worth a read. From what you've told me, it does appear to be that you do have hallucinations. I suppose the best thing to do now is to cope with it, until it finally settles down again, like it had before. At least, that's how I see it.

Thank you so much for reading. Have a wonderful day!

[Sometimes psychotic]

Have you considered hypnogogic and hypnopompic hallucinations that happen while you are falling asleep or waking up----these are considered normal....

[Pastel Kitten]

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Have you considered hypnogogic and hypnopompic hallucinations that happen while you are falling asleep or waking up----these are considered normal....

No because I wasn't falling asleep during any of these times. I was just lying in bed. I have been having a hard time falling asleep. And even if that were the case, it doesn't explain the bedroom incident where I was not even in bed to begin with.

[Pastel Kitten]

Originally Posted by BlossomingLen

Hello, it's a pleasure to meet you. I hope you're doing okay.

I don't personally have Schizophrenia, at least, I don't believe so. But I have had hallucinations before. I have never had extremely vivid, visual ones. But delusions, doubt, and paranoia is very common for me. I often hear sounds and constantly wander around my home to check them. They sometimes get better or worse, depending on stress. Perhaps during these moments where it's gotten worse, you've been under stress? Or some kind of change has occurred? Something, I'm sure, must have happened in order to trigger these hallucinations, paranoia and delusions more often.

How to Deal With Your Paranoia (with Pictures) - wikiHow

https://www.mentalhelp.net/advice/wh...-for-paranoia/

Schizophrenic Hallucinations and Delusions | Everyday Health

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...hallucinations

Here are some links that may help you? Either way, it's worth a read. From what you've told me, it does appear to be that you do have hallucinations. I suppose the best thing to do now is to cope with it, until it finally settles down again, like it had before. At least, that's how I see it.

Thank you so much for reading. Have a wonderful day!

Yeah, I definitely do not think I'm schizophrenic or developing it. I just don't know what classifies as psychosis or the beginning of it, and what worries me is that I do believe my grandmother experienced psychosis (she was bipolar I) so it isn't entirely out of the ballpark. Thank you for the links and the support. Yes..I've definitely been under more stress but I want to say that the stress became worse because of the first "hallucination" in July. That was when I knew I had to get help. Luckily I'm seeing a therapist next Friday. This may be something I need to bring up with her.

[Sometimes psychotic]

Originally Posted by Pastel Kitten

No because I wasn't falling asleep during any of these times. I was just lying in bed. I have been having a hard time falling asleep. And even if that were the case, it doesn't explain the bedroom incident where I was not even in bed to begin with.

Well if that's the case I'd bring it up with your pdoc, it sounds like you've had a certain amount of hallucinations all your life but dealt with them without getting too far gone but now that you're getting older I would worry about more severe psychosis as there is a typical age of onset in the mid twenties.