Roll call 80

How did you lose your media files? Did you reset your phone? There must be a way to recover the files, but not knowing how it happened, idk. Sorry if you already said how and I missed it!!!

idk how to get away from him. because a small part of me actually still loves him. i keep telling myself ill find new people at uni but it keeps being put off longer and longer because i cant get enough credits fast enough. even though i took 6 classes in spring. i pushed myself so hard only to still fall short.

i told everyone i was seeing him again and im losing the respect of my friends and my family is mad at me.

yet i cant pull myself away, not only from him but the alcohol. i pulled away from him for a month and from the alcohol for a week, only to go back. i went through a mild psychosis for a month but it was pretty wild. at least i think it was psychosis. maybe.

im not manic or psychotic right now. im just very lonely and desperate for company. im alone 10 hours out of the day. thats not working for me, to be alone with only friend who is sick with cancer. i drink to escape the mind numbingness of the hours i sit alone.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

Hey newtus, I'm sorry things have been so bad lately. I hope you will be able to ditch that relationship if it's abusive.

I clicked on clear junk files on my anti virus app. *update* so I managed to find the files that were deleted using a file Explorer app. It's saying they're still where they should be I don't get it, they don't show up in gallery.

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It's hard for someone to pull away from an abusive relationship. My sisters ex boyfriend (my nieces dad) use to beat her and she wouldn't come around us because of the bruises she had on her face and body. He was the one that also introduced her to drugs and she struggles with a drug problem she doesn't think she haves. Since they have a child together my niece is effected by it. She witness her daddy beat her mommy and gets nightmares from it. It took her a while to leave him because she had loved him. It will hurt you more staying with him than leaving him. It'll get worse. At least you don't have a child in the mix but it's worrisome.

We can only do so much. We can listen, hear you out, and give you advice but there's no magic way to get rid of it all. You got to take the steps and do what you gotta do to live a healthy and happy life. I'm not judging you and your family shouldn't either. We're all human. I respect you as a human being. You have good qualities too. You're not hopeless and I know you're just trying to find a way to survive it all.

Do you feel you have a drinking problem? Ever thought about talking to someone about it. I know substance abuse is hard to deal with mentally and physically. I remember you saying both your parents suffer from Alcoholism. Do you think they'll judge you if you told them about it?

Excellent! Sounds like you still have them!

ETA: if you have found the files it sounds like maybe what you lost were the OS register of addresses that pointed to the files on your phone.

Maybe you should try clearing the cache partition. There's a lot of helpful articles with a Google search for cache clearing of your particular phone.

Thanks I'll look on Google

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Newtus: "I wish I can take the pain away. If you can make it through the nights there's a brighter day" - Tupac

First day of my new job went really well. Feet are so sore from standing all day and I didn't freak out and run out the door when I became overwhelmed, I persevered and sat with the discomfort until? Yep that's right, what science says, the discomfort and anxiety went away over time. It may more than likely come back and I'll feel the same but it will go away again.

Onwards and upwards people!

My boyfriend got mad at me and left for his grandpas alone because I couldn't think fast enough to answer his questions. He's been so impatient and that just makes it harder to think and then I start to panic, which makes it even /harder/ to think. *cries* so he just walked out of the door because I couldn't think fast enough.

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i actually met with the clinic director about my alcohol issues and he didnt see it as an addiction so much but rather something i could get more support with at outside groups. i fear it is somewhat of an addiction though. it really helps to numb myself from pain.

i feel like i have a problem. of course. but clinical or even addiction. im not sure. im just at odds with this whole "addiction" thing.

my mom and dad and sister. basically my whole family, told me to just stop. which isnt easy. everytime i go to buy gas i cant help but go in to get wine. (which is my alcohol of choice).

as for this guy. idk what im gonna do. i really dont.

what scared me was when he broke up with ME. but then i was i guess pushing to get back with him and he said "i know where you live...". so i was really afraid. so far things have been ok. but i just feel extremely used in this relationship. he ate a lot of my food (i fed him because he said he was hungry) at my house. then he wants candy. wants me to take him places (he has no car). want to have whole bottles of my vape juice (which i pay 18 dollars per bottle for). i told him im sick of it. he really wont take no for an answer and is a bit controlling. he told me himself in his own words he was "possessive". which i fear a bit.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

Good luck. I know how hard it is to leave an abusive relationship. My ex went from possessive and controlling to straight up physically abusive. No one should have to live that way.

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Schizoaffective, PTSD, Anxiety

I'm sorry

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Schizoaffective, PTSD, Anxiety

And your phone needs to be reindexed. I don't exactly remember how to do that in settings, but the app that won't show the files needs to be cleared, and then let the app reindex the files.

wow. i hope it doesnt get that way for me at this point in the relationship.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

ur feet will be sore for a while but you will get used to it. mine hurt so bad when i started my job in which i stand all the time. now i go 8 hours standing and they dont hurt at alll

work was cray. im glad to be home

Hope you manage to eat and sleep well, and stay hydrated. I imagine it must be very hectic during holiday

Hello, I'm still new here, Good Day to y'all! that should about cover it.

"Keeping your noodles fresh everyday"

I still feel nervous a lot posting here. Waves look good so I'll go surf the net, and speaking of waves, my hair's not doing so great, I'm thinking of doing home oil treatment which comes from this bottle of yuzu oil, that is almost 100% natural? It's all about this humidity in the air I guess, my hair doesn't stay straight and I don't like this.