[FnordianSlip]

so here's an ongoing issue i've never revealed to any of my Ts or pdocs when i was in treatment. sounds crazy, but i experience the emotions and some of the associated thoughts of those around me. the extremes mainly, i pick up with out any effort on my behalf. that covers a wide range - joy/sorrow, pride/guilt, hatred/love, fear/bravado...and i get it all at once - i've got no selective filters. i've spent alot of years honing my meditation skilz, and i can block it all out for a time, if i can concentrate, but it's tiring - moreso the more emoters i'm in proximity of, so i avoid crowded areas, and limit my time in cities. driving home, as i get farther out - as the population density decreases - i don't have to work as hard to maintain an inner peace. oh yeah, my home is out in the sticks - gotta have a place i can let my guard down and relax. with just a couple of neighbors, and nice ones who leave me the %#@&#! alone, which i really appreciate. so yeah. either i really am picking this stuff up OR...i really am nuttier than my various and sundry DXs reflect cuz i've never fessed up to this to the ones handing out the labels.

i've done okay. maintained. cuz i'm no puppet - nobodyz in control of me but me, and like tha profile sez, i'm a lunatic, but for the most part i manage to keep a pretty tight lid on it.

until the last 5 years or so, when i started suffering a sort of generalized anxiety, and then a couple of years after that the panic attacks, which have been until quite recently totally situational, related to a breakdown of ability to filter out the chorus of emotional babble (or suppress my schizophrenia - take your pick), but are now beginning to occur with no apparent trigger whatsoever. THIS i cannot deal with. my cup runneth over. i'm at the end of my rope. i have to get professional help, much as i loath asking for it.

SO! background given, and bearing in mind that i am an artist and most of the meds i've experienced killed my creativity, and my penchant for paranoia re: getting locked up in the loony bin, tell me kind readers - should i tell the rest of the story when i get help for the panic, or keep quiet about it? sigh.

[soleil2warhola]

i dont know if i understand what you are saying right, but the way i understood it, i think i have a form of that "ability". ive been told that its called being a "psychic vampire" (its a lame title i know) and NO it has NOTHING to do with being gothic, Dracula, or sucking peoples blood, or anything like that. but its about drawing in peoples energy and emotions. mine isnt as severe as yours sounds though. when im near a person, i can feel what they are actually feeling & sometimes it affects the way I feel. i dont know if this is what you are talking about, but if it is, i have that too!

[FnordianSlip]

thanx for your reply, soleil2warhola. i'll go ahead and proceed as if i'm not delusional and say that yeah - i know what an psychic vampire is, though as i understand it you aren't one unless A) you're doing it on purpose, and B) you're actually taking something from people - draining them of psychic energy.

what you describe as your experience is quite like my own: passive reception (it's not done on purpose but just happens), except that yeah i've got it worse because not only do i feel what people immediately around me are feeling, but my sensing range extends out for miles around me so pick up alot - too much at once to sort out...it's just noise.

[spiritual_emergency]

<blockquote>
What you describe might be defined in other contexts as "intuitive". If I were you, where I might place my attention would be on the area of accuracy. For example, if you perceive someone to be experiencing joy (which you can feel) how do you know if you're perceiving correctly? Is it possible that you're feeling "joy" and merely projecting that emotion upon them or are they experiencing "joy" and you're intuitively picking up on that?

</blockquote>