Roll Call 86

I'm sure I'll find some! I'll ask my friend where to get the best chocolate. He's lived there for over a year now so I'm sure he knows!

I feel like im going to die

Hey you get off my cloud
You don't know me and
you don't know my style.

Why do you feel like you're going to die?

I keep having panic and anxiety attacks.

Alcohol is the only thing keeping me sane these days. Yet after I drink i have to stay home.

I hate to say it. But alcohol is keeping me sane. Im not getting drunk but it calms me down.

Im not even leaving my house barely. I got out yesterday but before that it was a week. Before that it was 2 weeks. I know itll be another week. So far its been 2 and a half months barely leaving due to anxiety and paranoia.

And the therapist im working with in the app just had a baby so she wont be available til monday. So she says.

Another day without a nap. Bummer. Otherwise having a pretty good day.

How are you???

Have you tried talking to your Pdoc? Why did they take your Xanax away?
I know how it feels to be cooped up. It sucks to not feel comfortable outside of the house. How's the weather there? Could you spend some time outside?

I'm doing pretty good. No real complaints except for the ever present anxiety.

sometimes you have to do things anyway----avoidance makes the anxiety worse

I was taken off the xanax because i was drinking alcohol. But now i only have alcohol to rely on.

weather is soso

When i go out i feel even more anxiety. I then cant wait to be home.

I see my pdoc every 3 months

No. Your right. I need to try to get out but i need to take small steps

The best thing I ever did for myself was to have weight loss surgery (Duodenal Switch) in 2014. My only regret is that I didn't have it 20 years earlier. It truly has changed my life. The stats for long-term success with diet and exercise are abysmal (over 80% failure rate). I really don't care about the criticism of people who think I took the easy way out. It wasn't easy, but it was effective! Those people never had to walk in my shoes. I was well on my way to an early grave, so this was a life-saving choice for me!

PS. Sorry but I'm new to this. Not sure what the roll call is about or for, but I just wanted to respond to what someone else was struggling with, in case my experience could help

How are your meds working, Newtus? Are you on an ssri anymore? That should take care of panic attacks and anxiety. If you are, I wonder why your still feeling it so much. I feel you about drinking though. It doesn't make me feel euphoric ever since I've been on my lamictal but, like you said, it calms me down. Relaxes me. I get agitated from feeling numb too long and I need the drink.

Is it biological anxiety or is it idea driven psychology? I know you can feel both at the same time, but usually one preceeds the other. Mine are biological most of the time, however, I do have my triggers too. So I avoid the triggers at all cost.

Have you thought about getting a laptop and trying to hang out at a café to surf the web just to get outside of your house? Or what about reading a book? Nobody ever bothers me or gives me strange looks just because I keep to myself. If you really want to torture yourself you could get a dog and go to parks. However, everyone will want to meet your dog and youll be forced into the cool dog ownership club.

Im on hydroxyzine, gabapentin and haldol.

My meds arent working except for the haldol.

I need to get out its just hard. Its so hard...like incredibly.

I dont want to take my meds tonight.

None of those are ssri s .....my pdoc said ssris are a first line approach she offered me some for my current anxiety.....I declined....wanted to try therapy first.

Maybe they arent wanting to put me on them. I havent been offered those in years.

I was on an SSRI and it zapped my anxiety and panic attacks. There was no way I was going to feel any of those while on them. However, it really blunted my affect and sexual drive so they shifted me from an SSRI to an SNRI called Effexor. Very similar to SSRIs. It didnt' effect my sexual drive and it allowed me to feel more emotions. Its really trial and error but if you keep trying to ind the right snri/ssri you might fight it. I was on Prozac, then Lexapro, then Effexor.

I heard that SSRIs or antidepressants can increase dopamine, which is what causes psychosis so most of the time they don't prescribe people diagnosed with schizophrenia SSRIs because of that

this is what happens to me. most all ADs ive been on make me psychotic if the dose is too high.