roll call 89

I dont want to. I just want to smoke it. I know if i call her shell be strict with me and tell me not to. She doesnt help. Shes too strict and i hate talking to her.

As I recall you don't experience positive effects from it......why do you want to smoke it?

Shouldn't do it, newtus. Not worth it.

Last time i smoked it i felt close to nothing. But i felt at peace a bit. No anxiety. No panic. The second to last time i flipped out. Im hoping to get that same feeling as last time.

I am so damn tempted to expand my mind from what it is.

Effing everyone had a vice. I have nothing. I dont smoke. I dont drink. I dont smoke weed. I have ****ing nothing to calm me down anymore. I hate this so ****ing much.

I NEED A VICE

This moving in thing wouldnt happen til december or january but we need to start planning. But hes already spendinf money like mad. He doesnt know how to save money. Especially for his first half of the rent of the first month/utilities/etc.

We went to six flags today and he spent over 100 bucks. Ive saved up 150 or so already...

It might not have been the weed itself, but whatever they cut it with. So when you're buying street weed you have no idea what else is in it.

When I was younger (like 11 or so) I would think that fictional characters were my friends.

I always thought this was a sign that I was lonely not really a sign that something was ****ed in my head but you know it really could be an early sign.

I'm tired but I'm thinking too much now it's making my head hurt.

Someone else is looking back at me in the mirror. I don't think it's me anymore bah everything feels off now.

Anyone watching the handmaids tale

I've been 13 hours I felt like crawling out of my skin on the plane. I would have had a glass of wine to help but they'll test me in the hospital and God knows I'm not allowed to have a fecking Ativan. Bought 10 packs of duty free at the airport.

I don't want an embolism

That's what I fear but when I get out of the hospital next week I will stop this..

Watching my friend play skyrim it's disgusting and bloody it's fuelling my psychosis

Thank you. Youre right

Good morning everyone ☀️

Good morning. Hope everyone is having a good day. So far so good over here . I have nothing going on. My husband is picking up the new drive shaft today after work. It was quick only one day shipping.
So this weekend will be a whole lot of working on the car. I'm not looking forward to my husband working all weekend but it is what it is. I need a car.
Anyway my weekend is going to suck.
What do you have planned?

I have a meeting today with the social worker, my conservator, and my physical therapist. About how long I'll be here. I'm really scared. Thank God my PT will be there. There's no time set, it will happen when that conservator gets here. I have nausea and I might be coming down with something. Couldn't calm down last night and went to sleep after 1am.

Oh! And they opened the blinds while I was washing up, and group 2 smokers had a clear view of me naked. Lovely.

Hey guys! I'm back.

Doing pretty well right now, just been a bit busy tying up lose ends for college. This time next week, I should have completed my course! Not sure if I said but I got a conditional offer for the next course too.

Managed to get my drinking under control... I've not actually gone teetotal but instead cut back and now I'm pretty much back to just the odd drink here and there.

Symptoms are also pretty quiet at the moment i.e. voices. Mostly just hearing them first thing in the morning and when I try to fall asleep. In other words whenever I'm not busy/distracted.

The last thing I'm trying to sort out is my eating. Had way too many takeouts recently but getting back towards a more healthy diet and also trying to loose a little bit of weight from the olanzapine... seem to be managing so far.

I hope everyone is ok! I'm really looking forward to the summer now, almost here!

I'm so glad to see you back here! I'm glad you have been able to pull yourself out of the awful gloom you suffered.

Loial--- everyone missed you!

Did a mindfulness exercise group. Best mindfulness CD that helped me ever. I feel so calm and relaxed no paranoia or anxiety which is a zero.

I hope this lasts but I think it will. My mood is good too.

Feel a little tired will ask for 30mg Vyvanse though to help with focus but I was talking all the time today in group participating very well.

I felt like I was losing my mind last night but had a good sleep.

If you want to smoke weed or drink or smoke etc, that is your choice as an adult. But to justify it with a rant about how everyone has a vice and that there are no other ways to calm down is factually incorrect.

*Willow*

Glad you see you back Loial, and to hear that you are feeling better. And congrats on passing college and getting into the next course!

*Willow*

Whats up everyone

If someone said they didnt have a vice i wouldnt believe them