Roll Call 98

cogladaid · Sep 05, 2017, 07:30 PM

Admit it, DT. You're just one of the girls.

ofthevalley · Sep 05, 2017, 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

Has anyone ever heard of such a thing that just happened to me here:

A woman came into my room with a big tube of something. She said, are you using this cream on your buttocks? I was so confused. I said no, of course and I tried to get her to say what the hell for, and the most she would say was that it's supposed to keep your butt from breaking down. I mean in what world does that make sense? Is this a thing?

It's to help with bed sores. If you spend a lot of time in bed without moving around your skin can breakdown pretty quickly.

Blue_Bird · Sep 05, 2017, 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Day Tripper

Hey, it takes will power to get up this early everyday. Right on sister.

What kind of program is this?

Hey its a day treatment program. There's therapists there and various groups. You make your own schedule on what you think will help you the most

Sep 05, 2017, 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

We've got 3-4 guys right now...I think that's the most we've ever had.....

5 women to every guy. Just like my college days.
Roll Call 98

ofthevalley · Sep 05, 2017, 07:31 PM

Hey Newtus. I see you had a good day. What's going on?

Sep 05, 2017, 07:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

I wonder if there is something wrong with me that i like to lay on my couch all day and do deep thinking and solve the mysteries of philosophy, rather than play video games and watch tv like most people?

What did active people think about before television?

newtus · Sep 05, 2017, 07:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ofthevalley

Hey Newtus. I see you had a good day. What's going on?

Just chillin with my dad. Im having a REALLY good day.

cogladaid · Sep 05, 2017, 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Day Tripper

That could turn into a dependency if you enjoyed it and started doing it. First a mental one then a physical one also. I'm not judging you. I drink to calm myself down also, otherwise my frustration turns into bitter anger.

Yeah I've had some issues before with it. Spent a month drunk once. Don't really remember much of it. Don't know if I was hypomanic or depressed at the time but I know for a while after I stopped I felt terrible and had the shakes lol.

I remember years ago when I turned drinking age I didn't like alcohol at all because how it loosened inhibitions. I liked firmed control and hated alcohol for loosening it. I thought to myself 'I could never be an alcohol'.

Roll Call 98

Sep 05, 2017, 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Headed to the library now. Then home and cleaning my apartment.

Ah my favorite place in the world! The library, not your apartment.

My library has a gigantic vaulted ceiling that looks upwards to about 30 feet high with windows that run along one entire side from floor to ceiling, that looks out to nature. It's absolutely beautiful, just make sure to bring a jacket.

Sep 05, 2017, 07:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

I want to goto the library, but i know i wouldnt want to return the books.

I bring my own books to the library. I just throw them in my book bag and get to it. I get a coffee in the café that's in the library, get online for about an hour, talk with my friends from PC, then slowly ease into reading.

ofthevalley · Sep 05, 2017, 07:40 PM

Hey guys. Had a decent day. I worked for most of it but it was good work. I got 8 hrs in today. That's too much for me. I need to be around the 20 hrs per week to stave off the anxiety. My Pdoc said she'd paddle me if I worked more than that lol.
Had some fun with the family. Then had a nice dinner. Now I'm just hanging out waiting for bed.

Sep 05, 2017, 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Findingreason

Good evening/afternoon everyone. How is everyone doing?

I'm doing okay. Went to print off my journals of symptoms/daily life that I have been recording for my appointment with pdoc and social worker tomorrow. Tomorrow should mark the time we work on getting me into rehabilitation to start getting me on the path of recovery.

Otherwise not a lot going on.

You know what, you've inspired me, findingreason. I'm going to write my pdoc a letter describing everything that has to do with my anhedonia, what treatment could be, what I've learned may help, and anything else I can think of. Right on, sister.

newtus · Sep 05, 2017, 07:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Day Tripper

I bring my own books to the library. I just throw them in my book bag and get to it. I get a coffee in the café that's in the library, get online for about an hour, talk with my friends from PC, then slowly ease into reading.

Since i live in a very rural area, the local library is run down and has nothing like that, a cafe. I went there to rent some philosophy books and they have maybe 20 philosophy books. It was extremely disappointing. Only 2 rows. Out of the whole library. They also dont have anything on schiz. Thats why i never go there anymore.

Not worth it.

Now the local community college, that, THAT is a nice library! Has exactly what your library has. A cafe and everything. Rows on rows of philosophy books and medical journals galore!

Unfortunately you need to have that college's ID with your picture to get in there. So i cant go.

Sep 05, 2017, 07:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

Went to barnes and noble and bought some journals, some books and magazines and a messenger bag!!!

Nice vinyl. The live version of that album is one of my favorite albums. Beloved John and fourth of July are a couple of the songs I like the album you bought.

Blue_Bird · Sep 05, 2017, 07:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Day Tripper

I bring my own books to the library. I just throw them in my book bag and get to it. I get a coffee in the café that's in the library, get online for about an hour, talk with my friends from PC, then slowly ease into reading.

That's the only thing I miss about my library the last place I lived. They had a cafe. This one is really nice and all but would be great with a cafe.

I literally live like across the street from the library which is great.

Sep 05, 2017, 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I got a cool journal awhile back from a local little bookstore. it has the tree of life and Celtic designs on it plus handmade pages. Roll Call 98

The celtic design is intended to convey the interconnectedness of everything. It's so beautiful, natural, and humanistic I think.

newtus · Sep 05, 2017, 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Day Tripper

Nice vinyl. The live version of that album is one of my favorite albums. Beloved John and fourth of July are a couple of the songs I like the album you bought.

I love that WHOLE album. I listened to the vinyl straight through, twice already!

Angelique67 · Sep 05, 2017, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

Was it hemorrhoid cream?

Good guess! Maybe so. I didn't see the tube close up so I don't know.

Sep 05, 2017, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

That's a good coping skill for me. Telling myself ''what's the worst that can happen?''

Its good for getting me out of the house.

When I was delusional, and felt like I was being persecuted, I often quoted from my favorite book Faust, "The worst they can do is remind me that I'm human."

newtus · Sep 05, 2017, 07:47 PM

I had a really good day today. It was full and productive! Couldnt have asked for a better day.

Sep 05, 2017, 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Findingreason

Went out for a late dinner at Burger King...and I'm just feeling anxious. Like, anxious about tomorrow seeing the pdoc. I prepared a letter for him about my desires to give a try and live without APs after coming to terms with my hallucinations. I also discussed made note that my worst times with BPD (approximately 6-7 years ago) had the most dissociation, and yet I didn't hallucinate outside of the occasional whispering voices and hearing people calling my name when it didn't actually happen. The psychotic symptoms didn't appear until early 2016. My BPD symptoms are getting markedly better too in recent days. I don't know what will come out of it, but I just want a pdoc to look at this without the shades of BPD over it. I wouldn't be surprised if he just disregards everything and is like "oh, you need MORE medication". I'm not optimistic. The pdocs here do not listen to their patients.

Whenever I experiment I do it slowly. That way I can go right back on the medication. There's no rush. Wean yourself off slowly, that way if you feel symptoms you can't live with then you can pop right back up there. I completely understand the need to experiment. It's built into us to keep fighting, but also it reminds us afterwards to "know thyself" if bad things happen. Good luck!

Angelique67 · Sep 05, 2017, 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dancinglady

Are any of your roommates incontinent. Sounds like diaper rash cream or bed sore cream. Who was the woman? The tube had no label on it. Did she leave it?

Nope, she went away and took it with her. The older roommate is indeed incontinent, but the lady was here to see me, for some reason. The tube had an orange type of graphics on it. So bizarre.

Sep 05, 2017, 07:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

Yes it is. I used to be subscribed to it. Not sure why it stopped coming. I guess i didnt renew it.

Philosophy Now as a successful podcast. If you bit torrent I can direct you to get better stuff though...

Angelique67 · Sep 05, 2017, 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ofthevalley

some virtual love.

Aw, thank you, valley.

Findingreason · Sep 05, 2017, 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I'm sorry, that sucks. I had some idiot give me that label when I was younger, a therapist not even a doctor anyway my doctor and people disagreed with it and changed it. I do believe I had some traits when I was younger, but definitely not anymore. Glad I don't have that crap following me around. I hope things work out for you and you're able to explain what's been going on.

I'm glad they were able to get rid of that diagnosis! It's horrible when you do have it, it's even worse when you don't. I know I've had very much BPD traits, but I strongly believe it is not the problem at hand and they're misunderstanding and misdiagnosing me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Day Tripper

You know what, you've inspired me, findingreason. I'm going to write my pdoc a letter describing everything that has to do with my anhedonia, what treatment could be, what I've learned may help, and anything else I can think of. Right on, sister.

I'm glad! That's awesome that you're writing a letter to your pdoc. I strongly believe there is some way, some how, a solution to bringing you out of anhedonia. I believe in you.

And as always, if you need to chat I am always a message away.

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