Roll Call 114

I know I don’t know how much more I can take.

That’s a shame about your roommate, she may just think you’re a bit quiet, I doubt she thinks you’re rude.
Cool, phone and coffee sounds like a good plan
We’re back home now, went to the shop and left the pup but he weed while we were out. It’s our fault we didn’t take him before we left. Just made the house smell now!

That's awful, I'm so sorry to hear that.

Oh my God. Your poor dog. I'm so sorry, Valley.

My internet is connected to Comcast, but comcast isn't connected to the internet. I don't know what's going on... I hope it turns on soon. I ended up playing with my phone all day, but my phone plan only gives me 6gigs a month... apparently i used 900mg just on the first. I played with the data saving feature, deleted the facebook app for the progressive web app, and deleted facebook messenger for messenger lite. I don't think i can do anything else besides that. I believe Spotify is free to use as i want data wise for tmobile. I wish i could get a bigger plan... When are we going to have unlimited data plans? This was never a problem on my Microsoft phone, in fact i would be able to save data at the end of the month and collect it into a data stash, i should have about 8 gigs saved up by now.

@ Valley ((hugs)) Family is hard to lose.

Does anyone know any volunteering websites to look at? I see a lot of stuff in the next town from here but most of it is helping people who are dying and i dont want to do that. Thatd be too overwhelming for me.

I considered volunteering for a crisis center tho but id just do that from home. Was looking to leave my house.

Ugh i think my chest is hurting again from being on my phone. Idk. It feels like its under my breast. Near the same spot it was hurting back in october. Id rather not spend 40-50 bucks on a bra. But this one isnt cutting it.

Ugh ive just completely let myself go these past few months or more. Ive definitely been depressed. No doubt.

Well I know I can cry. I haven’t stopped since the vet called. I feel terrible. My dog does too. Though I did get her to eat her favorites. Cheese chicken and cat food. I’m so overwhelmed I thought she was constipated.

Im so sorry valley

Does anyone know a remedy for lethargy caused by meds? Or what do you all do about it?

Ive been drinking tons of coffee past many months. Id rather not because of caffeine withdrawals.

Anyone have the physical symptoms of depression? I wondered if the lethargy lately was from depression rather than meds.

Lethargy, hygiene neglect, migraines, sleepless nights, gaining/losing weight, etc

Those all sound like symptoms of depression to me. It could be either but youvve mentioned being depressed. Maybe you should consider an ad. You’d probably need a mood stabilizer too.

Cat food! What a character....my dog used eat duck food like cracked corn just because he was jealous I think. I can’t imagine the pain of what you’re going through right now. I’m so sorry for your loss.

Honestly I thought I was having something with either meds or negative symptoms, apparently I was just unhappy with my life. Have you considered that possibility?

Problems is that ive tried wellbutrin, cymbalta, and one or two other AD’s and theyve made me physically sick. Ill keep trying tho.

Lol have I considered that im unhappy with my life? Lol YES. I have. The only times im happy with when the bf is around but our relationship has been suffering big time due to me texting him during the day about how awful i always feel. Its making him down too and i feel worse.

I definitely know im unhappy with my life. For so many reasons: major one is being alone all the time. Having no friends except 2 out of state and one of them always has drama in her life (she has bpd and complains all the time) the other is door2015.

I could go on but without complaining those are the major things.

My dad doesnt want me to lose my disability and insurance but ive got to do something. I mentioned having a job YET again to him and he discouraged it. So did my peer worker. But i cant help but feel like a major part of what i go through is due to not being productive. Plus i have no money. I do but after halfway through the month i dont. Im living on under 14k a year. They prob discourage it because what i deal with and fear ill go back to that place. But everytime im out of the house, well most times, i feel just fine. Especially if i take an anti anxiety pill before leaving.

Disability is a huge curse and i wouldn’t recommend it to anyone unless they truly need it. I needed it and still do because i cant yet know if i can work full time. But i feel like i could be halfway productive in society right now.

Im definitely burned out from school after 10 years. If i go back im gonna do something practical at a community college.

The only thing i hate about volunteering is you have to do so much for something you dont get paid for. Which makes me look bad but when i already dont have enough to live on it doesnt look appealing z

They give me Prozac for all that (MDD). I guess it works ok. I'm not like I was before I lost my mind, but it's been an improvement.

I'm sorry it's such an awful shock. How old is she?

I cant tell if my dad is helping me or hurting me by telling me not get a job. My peer worker too.

I’m so sorry valley, there are no words.

I only have 2 coils left right now. I might have another pack but I didn't see it. So I didn't change my coil yet. Nor did I fill my other tank because it needs a new coil too.

It was nice out at 1, sitting in the sun. It'll be a lot colder as the sun sets. I have some gi bug and it's freaking me out. I hope it goes away.

Big safe hugs