Roll Call 114

newtus · Feb 03, 2018, 07:59 PM

Feel better FR

Findingreason · Feb 03, 2018, 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

Hey, is your wife awake? I think you need the hospital today/tonight.

She is...I'll prolly tell her soon.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

I don’t think you’ve said anything psychotic....I just meant in general it’s something you’re dealing with that’s holding you back unfairly. You really should be in the hospital to protect yourself. I hope you tell someone and check yourself in.

Okay. I was just wondering cause I know it has caught me off guard before....

Quote:

Originally Posted by ofthevalley

I’m so sorry. I was so wrapped up in myself I missed this.

this isnt the first time you’ve mentioned this and it’s worrisome. Have you considered the hospital?
I really hope you find a way to feel better. You are wonderful and have so much to offer.

It's okay, you've been going through a lot too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

Feel better FR

Thank you. <3

Its like a trap right now, this state of mind. I need to go to the in laws tomorrow to make copies of documents for school applications. They're due on Wednesday the 7th, no later than 3pm. I'm also helping my aunt with her computer....supposed to help her tomorrow.

I just....I don't know what to do.

Possible trigger:

I feel like there's two options....end it all, or failure at what I need to do right now. I'm suffocating. Its like I want to keep things away from my wife and partner in order to commit suicide...but yet part of me must be searching for help because I'm talking to all of you. I really do not understand how I went from good to absolute hell in the matter of a week or less. I'm so ashamed to talk to my friends and such cause I feel like I am losing face that I've been well for so long and just a week or two ago I was catching up with some of them and telling them the good things in life right now. Now its like it never existed. Too much shame to tell them. Almost like its saving me more face to just end it all.

21stCenturySM · Feb 03, 2018, 08:31 PM

FR, you dont know me very well, but im here for ya too.

ofthevalley · Feb 03, 2018, 08:32 PM

Oh FR you need the hospital.

Sometimes psychotic · Feb 03, 2018, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Findingreason

She is...I'll prolly tell her soon.

Okay. I was just wondering cause I know it has caught me off guard before....

It's okay, you've been going through a lot too.

Thank you. <3

Its like a trap right now, this state of mind. I need to go to the in laws tomorrow to make copies of documents for school applications. They're due on Wednesday the 7th, no later than 3pm. I'm also helping my aunt with her computer....supposed to help her tomorrow.

I just....I don't know what to do.

Possible trigger:

I feel like there's two options....end it all, or failure at what I need to do right now. I'm suffocating. Its like I want to keep things away from my wife and partner in order to commit suicide...but yet part of me must be searching for help because I'm talking to all of you. I really do not understand how I went from good to absolute hell in the matter of a week or less. I'm so ashamed to talk to my friends and such cause I feel like I am losing face that I've been well for so long and just a week or two ago I was catching up with some of them and telling them the good things in life right now. Now its like it never existed. Too much shame to tell them. Almost like its saving me more face to just end it all.

Try not to worry about failure...failure can be part of the path to success. If it’s too much though just take a step back. People will understand if you need time to yourself to recover.

Don’t be ashamed.....my friends were incredibly supportive when they found I was sick. They’ve been supportive now that I’m out of work. Instead of trying to save face I just throw things out there...people, the right people will be on your side and want to help.

Sometimes psychotic · Feb 03, 2018, 08:45 PM

FR one more thing......my bf is just out of the hospital for a physical illness. Today I helped him shopping....he was worried about what people would think because he looks fine but I was lifting everything. It hurts his pride not to be able to do it himself. When I was 12 I briefly lost the ability to walk and needed help to get to the bathroom. Some times life doesn’t make things easy but we get through. Get help. Wake up your wife and get help.

newtus · Feb 03, 2018, 08:51 PM

Ugh. How depressing... My hair is severely thinning in the front. Im very sure its due to rarely washing it... i can see right through the strands of my hair... ugh i can see my scalp.

newtus · Feb 03, 2018, 08:54 PM

I tried using a dandruff shampoo because i rarely wash my hair. Extremely rarely because its hard to maintain. It always itches and i have severe dandruff and pimples on my scalp. As well as probably eczema.

newtus · Feb 03, 2018, 08:57 PM

Oh yea and i checked out that clubhouse for people with mental illness my pss keeps begging me to go but looking at the pictures of the people they arent smiling... they look like they are severely low functioning. Im not going there.

newtus · Feb 03, 2018, 09:10 PM

Today was long. I just wanna get through tomorrow and monday. I really dont want to see my pss. Shes pissed me off yet again. I really wish i had good insurance; i wouldnt goto that clinic anymore.

Feb 04, 2018, 03:49 AM

Hi, some quick movies

3 billboards 4/5
The post 4.5/5

Spielberg though needs to get a grip. If I was his editor, id cut the last 15 mins of most of his movies. He really has to duff the cap to all the pc stuff,

Mr Spielberg your good real good, but we are all mostly smart...

junkDNA · Feb 04, 2018, 06:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Materly

Hi, some quick movies

3 billboards 4/5
The post 4.5/5

Spielberg though needs to get a grip. If I was his editor, id cut the last 15 mins of most of his movies. He really has to duff the cap to all the pc stuff,

Mr Spielberg your good real good, but we are all mostly smart...

3 billboards was filmed near me in sylva, nc. Woody harrellson was seen In pack square downtown Asheville a lot playing chess . And winning!!!

cogladaid · Feb 04, 2018, 08:11 AM

I’m restless and getting obsessive again. Obviously I must be feeling better getting over whatever it is that was making me sick. Back to usual crazy sickness instead.

cogladaid · Feb 04, 2018, 08:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Materly

Hi, some quick movies

3 billboards 4/5
The post 4.5/5

Spielberg though needs to get a grip. If I was his editor, id cut the last 15 mins of most of his movies. He really has to duff the cap to all the pc stuff,

Mr Spielberg your good real good, but we are all mostly smart...

I try to watch all the Best Picture nominees every year. I have two left to go but so far I’ve enjoyed Three Billboards the most. The Post was good too but I liked Three Billboards more.

newtus · Feb 04, 2018, 09:29 AM

Morning

Having coffee

Got good rest

Sometimes psychotic · Feb 04, 2018, 09:40 AM

FR if you’re ok let us know....

newtus · Feb 04, 2018, 09:55 AM

I feel so good today. I felt great last night too.

I wonder what i should do today to keep this good feeling. Wish I could hang out with someone.

Angelique67 · Feb 04, 2018, 09:59 AM

I'm still a bit under the weather. Hopefully they'll give me something for this. It's warmer out today, thank God. My vape was good, even though I need to change the coil. I wish I could get all covered and hide under the blanket. I mean I can, it's just not a good idea.

I took half of a Tiz last night. Didn't get to watch the Martian last night because roommates were baiting me. I really wish I could go home.

Angelique67 · Feb 04, 2018, 10:01 AM

I hope everyone is feeling well or better today.

ofthevalley · Feb 04, 2018, 10:10 AM

Morning. Slept like ****. Kept thinking about Soph. I miss her.
Getting ready for the Super Bowl. Have a ton of cooking to do but I’m not feeling up to it. I’m so sad.